Fuck You Nintendo. Here Are My Thoughts On The New 3DS

Written By: Tyler

Sometimes it's hard to be a Nintendo loyalist. The Wii U had a botched launch, and they confused the hell out of more casual gamers to the point that they thought the Wii U was a Wii accessory. We're still waiting for a steady flow of Wii U games. Nintendo innovates in some ways, but then are so behind the curve in other ways, such as online gaming. Or there's the fact that in a game like Hyrule Warriors, they screw up the co-op by making one person play on the Gamepad while the other gets to play on a big screen (oh yeah, with no online co-op). There have been plenty of Nintendo blunders, both minor and major, but you get the point: Nintendo does awesome things once in a while, and once in a while they screw up. For every triumph, there seems to be a failure.

And yet I am a Nintendo fan, probably until I die. I have a love for Ninty that has been a gigantic part of my life for almost my entire life. I spent my youth playing games developed for the NES. I played these games before I even really understood what I was doing. In the immortal words of Brokeback Mountain, " I wish I knew how to quit you [Nintendo]."

My first blog post was a half-defense of the Wii U... one I still stand by. I enjoy the Wii U, and it sits firmly as my secondary console. I love the Gamepad. I love the exclusive titles I will see on the Wii U. The Playstation may be my primary console these days, but I will not go a generation without having a Nintendo console as, at least, my secondary. While I may play more Playstation, they don't have the loyalty from me that Nintendo does. No gaming company does.

After I got out of a movie last night, I had a message on Facebook from my older brother. It was a link to an article about Nintendo: more specifically, one about a new 3DS. I clicked on it cautiously. It turns out that they are releasing a 3DS with more CPU power, better 3D, more buttons, a new design, and more. It's really quite a wonderful release, and definitely moves the 3DS ahead.

The only problem is, they should have done this from the beginning. This is where I start to get angry.

The 3DS is a monster. I got one last year, and there were at least three games released on it that were among my top ten favourite games of last year. Animal Crossing: New Leaf won game of the year from me. Shin Megami Tensei 4 and Fire Emblem were high up there as well. While it doesn't see a lot of games, it certainly sees its fair share of quality games, and perhaps it isn't good for certain genres due to the limitation of only having one stick, but for things like platformers, RPGs, simulators, etc... it is wonderful.

Luckily Nintendo has decided to fix certain problems, by adding a C-Stick (among other things). Great. Why wasn't this originally in the plan for the 3DS? Or was it and they shipped an incomplete product to us originally? I am all for these upgrades, but they should have been there since the 3DS first shipped. They were painfully behind the times when they decided to only have one stick, and now they've finally decided to add one when people have already bought a fucking 3DS or even a 2DS, which came out less than a year ago.

So now we're expected to buy a new one, or potentially miss out on great games. There's a remake for Xenoblade Chronicles coming, and while I don't need it because I still own a Wii copy like a boss, that's a huge release. What other games will come out?

This shouldn't have happened halfway through its life cycle. They should have just rode the 3DS train until it was time for a new handheld, then implemented a lot of these features because unless everyone is just more understanding than myself, this is bound to create resentment.

Before anybody declares me as some whiny cunt, I'm cool with the 2DS because that was smart: release a version of the handheld without the unnecessarily 3DS shit and charge less. I'm cool with larger versions of the handheld that end up being a little more expensive. What I'm not cool with is segregating the audience by adding things that should have been there from the get-go.

This isn't an article about the confusion that the name may cause, even if that's true. This isn't an article filled with me hating on the advancements of technology. This is simply me ranting about the timing of a release like this. It isn't a money issue, because while I don't have an amazing job, I do well with buying games and consoles. I'm not being cheap, but it's stupid to expect us to buy a new one when the old one has only been out a little over three years.

Another thing that bothers me is that they are fixing something that isn't really broken. While it's true that it could benefit from a a C-Stick, more buttons, stronger technology, whatever, the 3DS is fine the way it is now. Nintendo should be focusing on the Wii U at this point, because they've already performed a magic trick with the 3DS and turned it around. It's time to concentrate on the console that has been a massive failure financially and critically.

Nintendo has not lost my loyalty. I'll get one of these when they're released in North America because I love games and am weak, but I will do so begrudgingly, because at the end of the day I feel like I'm being nickel and dimed. Not that it matters how much resentment I have when I buy it, because they will still be getting my money... but that doesn't make it morally right.

I Won't Mention The Lack Of Gay Marriage, Oops... A Tomodachi Life Review

Written By: Tyler
Platform Played On: 3DS

Oooooooh!

Rating: 8/10
Verdict: It's pretty light on the "life simulator," but in small bursts it's an extremely funny, silly game that is sure to make you laugh a bunch of times.



Tomodachi Life is another Nintendo game that tries to go beyond the social norm of gaming and offer us an original, memorable and quirky experience. In my opinion, people should go out of their way to try to play these types of games because you often find the diamonds in the rough this way. But is this game a gem or a dud?

In Tomodachi Life, you are tasked with creating Miis and looking after them. You help shape their personality and even their voice -- the voices are robotic and silly but it fits perfectly within the context of the game. You have to feed them, clothe them, help them cultivate relationships, and watch them do plenty of strange things. Yes, it's like Sims meets Animal Crossing, but it's not really as deep as either or compelling. With that said, Tomodachi Life is not at all a bad game and there's a lot to love here if you're willing to give yourself over to the weirder side of things.

This is probably the biggest laugh I had in the game.

The main complaint that you'll hear almost unanimously across the board is that the game is repetitive and it loses its novelty fairly quickly. I can't even argue that, because if you play the game more than fifteen minutes per sit down, you'll often find yourself wondering what you can do next. The game isn't as demanding as Animal Crossing, and the experience is light. You have very little control over how your town develops, outside of creating Miis or solving problems, but the requisites for how to attain everything in town is clearly laid out for you. There just isn't a lot to do at any given time, but it's actually not a bad way to kill a few minutes a bunch of times a day.

There is a level progression system, which is a nice addition but what it offers is minimal. You level up your Miis but giving them gifts, feeding them, clothing them, giving them life and relationship advice, and when they reach a new level you have the choice of giving them a new interior for their apartment, a catch phrase, a song, a gift or pocket money. That's really about all there is to it but I'm still glad they put it in there because even though it's simplistic, it does give you the feeling that you're doing something with these people.

On the flip side, if you give Miis bad advice and they get their heartbroken, prepare to do the materialistic thing and give them gifts until they feel better. A black cloud will literally appear above their head as they mourn their broken heart. The Miis seem to proclaim their love for one another on a fairly regular basis, so be prepared to deal with them. My main Mii kept proclaiming his love for a girl that was already taken... oh how art imitates life. I mean, what?

The music is there, but there's not a whole lot to love. If you're anything like me, you'll keep the sound up because you enjoy listening to the Miis talk. For example, in the photo above, I have a Mii named jake and I could listen to him talk all day because his voice amuses me. 

So you may be asking yourself, how could I possibly give it an 8 when the game gets repetitive so quickly? There are two main reasons for that. The first is that it's okay to have casual games where it's just a quick pick up and play. It helps ease and relax the mind, and sometimes it's nice to not play something complex.

The other reason is the main one. The game is hilarious and will most likely be the funniest game I play this year, and it positions itself nicely in the history of amusing video games. The comedy is the real winner here. Though the game does often get repetitive, there were times when something new happened that would make me crack up. This could be something as simple as watching a Mii do something strange in their apartment because they don't know somebody's watching, only to turn to you, eyes wide open, when you choose to enter their apartment. Or maybe it's the most random conversation you'll ever see in a Cafe. Perhaps it's the first time you watch a song (that you can write) get performed on stage. It could be watching the comical events that take place each day in the Mii News. Or it could be taking a vacation -- with selfies -- in space. Maybe it's the joy of doing something like this:

Making a Ninja who lives in a jail.

The game breathes and encourages odd. That's why it's okay that the game isn't as deep as it could be. Sure, in time this novelty will wear off as well, but that's the nature of games: eventually things become ordinary. It's cheesy and doesn't take itself too seriously, and may not find a real audience among "serious gamers," but it would have been a blast to develop. It's not the deepest life simulator, but it's important to note that in my time with the game so far, I have yet to feel like the game has gotten entirely stale. Give it a chance if you want something different.

I leave you with one last memory.