Hideo Kojima Needs More Money -- A Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes Review

Written By: Tyler
Platform Played On: PS4

Rating: 9/10
Verdict: The price tag is sure to, understandably, turn people off, but the game that is there is wonderful and is a good teaser for what's going to come in Phantom Pain. I can't imagine fans of Metal Gear hating the gameplay, because it's what Metal Gear is supposed to be.


To put it lightly, I'm a Metal Gear fan. It's been my favourite series for quite some time now, and it got to the point where I stopped job searching until I beat Metal Gear Solid 4. My first ever email was a Metal Gear reference, and one of my first online usernames was "Solid Cobra." I like the series. It's with this information out in the open that I proceed with my review -- a review where I will level the game with some criticisms but still somehow manage a 9 out of 10. Hey, at least it isn't a 10 which I'm sure Phantom Pain will end up getting.

The problem with Ground Zeroes is that it's a glorified demo. For thirty bucks. Knock it down to about ten or even fifteen, and I'm not complaining nearly as much, even if it still ends up seeming more like a money grab than anything. It's been said that the main story in Ground Zeroes can be completed in ten minutes, but it took me about an hour and a half because I took my time. Still, I spent almost half the amount of a full game for an hour and a half of story, with a few side missions (set in the same area) that end up taking maybe half an hour each. I can understand the pain of paying this much money for this little content, but Metal Gear 5: Ground Zeroes is a pain that hurts so damn good.

Before I gush over how good the gameplay actually is, let's just keep talking about the bad... just to get it out of the way. The side-missions are nothing to write home about, but it does add content to the game that extends the playtime to maybe five hours if you include the story, getting every single thing, and playing these missions on hard. Five hours is a lot better than an hour and a half (or less if you want), but seeing as how these are just side-missions set in the exact same spot you play the story, they lose their appeal a little bit. It's just very difficult to separate oneself from the price tag, and I get that. I can totally understand the reluctance to buy this for that reason.

I'm not really a fan of Sutherland as Naked Snake/Boss, because I -- like many others -- am used to the gravelly David Hayter voice. I think Hayter's voice just fits him, and I hear Sutherland when Boss talks now. It's not that Sutherland doesn't do a good job in the little bit that we hear him, it's just that for a long time Hayter's claim to fame has been Snake, whereas Sutherland is an incredibly famous actor and being Snake is just a little blip on his career. I am still willing to give him a go when Phantom Pain comes out... I want to let the voice grow on me and I want to hear him become Boss instead of just being Sutherland playing Boss.

So... I am iffy on the voice so far, and the price tag is ridiculous. Why does this game get a 9? Because it's legit awesome... all things considered.

Some critics harped on about the story not being much of anything. Well, yeah, Ground Zeroes is short and the actual game is supposed to be a hundred times bigger. The crazy, confusing, epic story will come, but I actually disagree with some critics because I think this little glimpse of the overall story is fascinating and well done. The cutscenes are memorable and well staged, and it ends on a great note. It's a teaser more than anything, but it's a successful one that makes me want Phantom Pain right now. That was always the point of Ground Zeroes.

But above all else, what we can gather from this demo is that the game plays well. It took me a little while to get used to what I can do, but they have evolved the Metal Gear experience in little ways, so sneaking around (or blasting everyone in sight) is still a joy. The Marine base that you're in is open but not open enough that you're confused where to go. You have a bunch of different ways to get to where you want to go. The game is familiar in a lot of ways, and is distinctly Metal Gear, but I didn't want them to drastically change how it looks, feels and plays.

The changes that they've made, such as managing your inventory, or CQC, are all well done. The guns feel good to shoot, the action is fluid and smooth, and the fact that you can call in a helicopter is going to add a lot to the full game (if that's the route you want to go, though sneaking is always priority one for me while playing Metal Gear).

Metal Gear has not lost its charm. In the beginning cutscene we are introduced to a villain with a disfigured head, and the music selection within that same cutscene is great and sets a good atmosphere. It's a blast interrogating the Marines and getting information from them about where things are, and then stabbing them in the neck. When you get seen, the game slows down and allows you to find the enemy and shoot him before he has time to alert the rest of the Marines.

One controversial aspect is regenerative health. Metal Gear fans are used to rations, with very minimal regeneration abilities, so this is sure to turn off some. But health that regenerates has been the trend for years, and maybe it was only a matter of time. At this point I'm just used to it so I feel nothing.

The game goes into much darker territory this time around, and while some have felt that it is awkwardly handled, I like the gritty nature of it because this is supposed to be the final game chronologically before the events of Metal Gear for the NES. I think Kojima is perfectly capable of handling the subject matter, and I thought the ending was proof of that.

Ground Zeroes is polished, runs well, looks great, and is a wonderful primer for the absolute monster that is going to be released next year. I always follow Roger Ebert's philosophy on reviewing to some degree where he said that you have to rate something based on what it's trying to accomplish. That's why I can give this a 9 out of 10, because the game that is there is excellent. However, I do reflect the price tag issue by knocking it down a point because it's the elephant in the room and it's hard to ignore. Some will be harsher on that, but I stand by a 9.

Top Ten Tuesday -- Top 10 Catchphrases In Video Games

Written By: Tyler

I like lists. In fact, I like lists a lot. If I had my way I'd probably sit around and make lists that nobody else cares about all day. But alas, people tell me that I have to go have a life or go to work. I was on The Broke and The Bookish where they do/did Top Ten Tuesdays and I really like the idea of doing that weekly... however I probably won't be able to commit to it every week because I'm not that creative and this blog is free (I know, mind blown) and I have to put priority on other matters like paying those little gimmicks called bills -- to quote Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh well, I will from this point on try to do a Top Ten Tuesday as often as possible even if it's only once a month.

Since Bravely Default is so long and is taking up so much time I haven't written a review in a while and coincidentally I've had less content on here lately because of it. Fear not, a review for Bravely Default is coming, along with Thief and Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, among whatever indie games happen to fall into my lap.

One thing I feel the need to mention, and will probably mention each time I make a list, is that this is my list. I'm not sitting here trying to be "objective." I'm not sitting here debating to myself what the most important catch phrase is. I keep it simple stupid because my mind can't handle much else -- I include the catch phrases that I like.


Here are the Top 10 Catchphrases In Video Games

It's important to note there is a difference between catch phrases and quotes. There are some badass quotes in games but if they've only said it once then it doesn't qualify. I don't like to flood my list with the same games so if there are numerous catchphrases in one game the entire game will be represented by my absolute favourite.


10: Scorpion from Mortal Kombat - "Get Over Here!"

When you hear Scorpion yell this at you, it's too late, you've already been hit (damn!). If you didn't catch that Limp Bizkit reference than shame on you.

Scorpion is a badass and he throws his spear at you. When it hits you, he yells this at you and even though you really don't wanna go over there, you have no choice because the spear is in your neck or chest. After that point there's probably an uppercut coming.


9: Random Voice in Ogre Battle - "Fight It Out"

This probably isn't a popular pick but I try to throw Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen into everything I do. At work, at home, at fancy dinners, whatever, I talk about Ogre Battle.

Right before you're about to get in a fight, you hear a voice say "Fight it out." And then this song hits:
Then you know shit got real


8: Moogles in Final Fantasy - Kupo!

I love Moogles. Fans of Final Fantasy love Moogles. I feel like they are a good representation of Final Fantasy. Admittedly, while characters have said a lot of great lines in the series, there aren't that many great catchphrases, so leave it to the cute little white things to save the day.


7: Random Enemies from River City Ransom - Barf!

A great supporting role in a movie compliments the lead and makes the experience better. The enemies in River City Ransom compliment you because when you are done kicking the shit out of them, they die... but first they barf. It's extremely satisfying.



6: Your Wife From Genghis Khan 2 - "...Is that lipstick on your collar?"

You can choose to spend time with your family in order to create children to lead your army after you pass. I think Genghis Khan 2 is an overlooked or at least under appreciated Strategy game from a company that was firing on all cylinders at the time, and despite it being memorable for all kinds of reasons, it's this quote that sticks out to me.

Why? Because the game forces you to cheat! I've entered marital problems that I didn't even know existed! I was off trying to build an empire but apparently I was getting down a lot with random girls (or guys?), and my wife knows it. She's a clever little thing, but she still sleeps with me so in my book that's a win-win for men all around the world.


5: Toad from Super Mario Bros. - "Thank you Mario! But our Princess is in another castle!"

It's such an overdone choice but there's a reason for that. For years, children all over would play Mario and we'd be bashed over the head with disappointment after disappointment when we were told this. The thing that really pisses me off is that he seems so joyful about it... I mean as much as an 8-bit character can be. Look at those exclamation marks.


4: Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter - "Shoryuken!"

This beats "Hadouken!" for me just because of the amount of passion that Ryu and Ken put into it. I feel like that has to count for something, so even though I like using the Hadouken more, Ryu and Ken deserve more praise for their enunciation of Shoryuken.


3: Sergeant Cortez from Timesplitters - "It's time to split."

This is one of the most self-aware, cheesiest lines in all of gaming, and I love Cortez for it. It gets to the point that he has used it so much that he ends up getting cut-off because people are just tired of him. That's the mark of a classic catchphrase, and I can only hope I can get to that point in my life.


2: The Game Over Screen in the Metal Gear Solid Series - "Snake? Snake? SNAAAAAAAKE!"

This beat out Solid Snake going "Damn!" and "Metal Geeeeear?" but it was a hard choice. This is more memorable because whenever you die people get upset. That's an alien feeling to me in real life (because I die all the time and nobody cares), so when you hear people like Otacon yell your name... it makes you feel good.


1: Atlas/Fontaine in Bioshock - "Would you kindly?"

I had to put this number one because it's a legit awesome line. Some of these choices are just because I spent years having them drilled into my head. This is actually clever writing. What I love about Bioshock is that it's very post-modern. It dissects video games.

It does this by taking something that gamers never think about and putting a new spin on it. As gamers we just do what we're told. We progress when we can. In Bioshock you progress because you're hypnotized. All of a sudden, it all makes sense... he wasn't just being nice to you, he was bossing you around! It's genius and it's my favourite catchphrase.



If you have an idea of a list that you'd like to see me do, regardless of how silly it could be, let me know in the comments below or on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime. I will try my best to eventually do it as long as it's possible and entertaining.