Hyrule Warriors Nintendo Direct And My Hyrule Warriors Impressions

Written By: Tyler

Watch here: http://www.nintendo.com/nintendo-direct/08-04-2014/#/video-ndirect

Today Nintendo hit us up with another Nintendo Direct. If you know me in person or follow this blog, you may be aware that while the Playstation has been my primary system since the first one, I'm a Nintendo fanboy in my heart and always treat their systems as my secondary console. Nintendo gives us games that no other platform will -- quite literally because they own and develop their most legendary IPs -- and they're just damn good. I also respect the fact that Nintendo goes off and does their own thing, even if it isn't always for the best. I actually love the Wii U and love the Gamepad.

They may be horribly out of touch in some aspects of their business model and plan, but in others they innovate. I always look forward to Nintendo Directs -- they're an event for me. They're usually about half an hour of showcasing new footage and breaking news. The only problem with the Directs is that they quite often disappoint. I, like many others, hope for certain things that we never get. Some of it is our own fault, but some of the blame rests on Nintendo.

This one focuses on Hyrule Warriors, which is a game I am looking forward to but it's not one of the big games of the year for me. I quite enjoy Dynasty Warriors but don't follow it religiously and I'm not a fan of Zelda at all outside of a few games that I mildly enjoy. So how did the Hyrule Warriors Direct fare? Read on for the news that matters.

Hyrule Warriors is looking like a good time with just enough change on the Dynasty Warriors formula to make it fresh. Don't get confused though, because this is still more of a Dynasty Warriors game with a Zelda skin than the other way around, but I'm okay with it.

The boss battles should be of interest in this. Though it will lack the legendary Lu Bu, it will have bosses from other Zelda games, and it will require the items that you find throughout the maps in order to defeat them. This should keep battles relatively unique and inject some strategy into the button mashing formula that Destiny Warriors is known for.

You will also need to use the items to open up different areas much like in Zelda. 

There are tons of things from the Zelda series brought in, such as the Cucco. They will come after you if you hit them and you'll see them mingling with the enemies on occasion. However, in some situations you can actually make them your allies. Other characters such as the Bombchu or even the Moon from Majora's Mask will also be included. It's safe to say that there will be plenty of fan service involved but it's interesting how they incorporate some of these. For example, you can hookshot the Moon to have it fall on enemies.

You'll have things like grass cutting, which seems silly, but it is part of the Zelda charm. Apparently they were going to have a stage that consisted solely of grass cutting but they didn't include it. I think that might be a good thing because I can't really see that being enjoyable. Sometimes Nintendo makes a bigger deal out of certain aspects of their IPs than they deserve, and I reckon the grass cutting is one of them.

These are the characters that they talked about in the Direct: Link, Zelda, Impa, Sheik, Ruto, Darunia, Midna, Agitha, Zant, Fi, Ghirahim, plus some new characters like Lana. They will all have their own attributes and weapons, such as a sword, a giant hammer, etc. This is typical Dynasty Warriors fare.

This isn't really news, but expect to see a bunch of stages based on places that you know and love within the Zelda universe, such as Skyloft, Lake Hylia and Twilight Field.

You can fill a bar by defeating enemies that will power-up your character when used. It is called "Focus Spirit."

In terms of character progression, it's light but it exists. Your characters level up as you slaughter your foes, and some materials drop in battle that you can use to craft badges that enhance your stats. You can also acquire weapons that enemies drop... some of these also have skills in them or if they have an empty slot you can fuse your own skills in it, such as more attack damage or a better chance of finding hearts.

There's a mode called "Adventure Mode," which basically slaps you on a NES-inspired map and you can move around to the different stages and play them. Each stage will have its own victory conditions and once you achieve them the level will end and more spaces on the grid will open up around you so you can progress to the next stage. It's not mind-blowing, but it's something.

Like any Destiny Warriors game, the core gameplay consists of spamming attacks until hundreds of enemies fall to your might. You can take over bases in the middle of combat to help turn the tides of battle, but mostly it'll just involve you laying waste to enemies yourself.

One sore spot for me is the lack of online co-op, and how they handle the local co-op. I don't know why but for as forward thinking as Nintendo is in a lot of ways, they have some problems with minor issues. Instead of playing on the same screen, which is completely acceptable in local co-op, especially since most people have bigger TVs these days, one person will use the Gamepad screen and the other will use the TV and Wiimotes. Not only that, but the screen resolution will go down when playing in local co-op. I don't know why they felt the need to do this to use, but it's a bit of a downer. I normally play Dynasty Warriors with a friend but I'll be playing this one solo.

As the Direct ends, we are shown Ganondorf. Of course he is badass, and of course you will want to play as him. If you're a Nintendo Club member then you can get the Demon King costume set, and like most games, there are pre-order bonuses from select retailers.


I think the variety and whatnot of the enemies, mixed with the Zelda characters and atmosphere, will make it a little more exciting than just a normal Dynasty Warriors. I enjoy this idea as a one-off, but if it became a series I think the novelty would wear off. After seeing the Hyrule Warriors direct, I don't know if I'm more excited for it or not, but most of my fears have been put to rest, and the problems I had with the game I already knew (such as the co-op).

Weekly News Round-Up, April 6 - 12: PAX East Is Here, And So Was A Super Smash Bros. Nintendo Direct

Written By: Tyler

The Weekly News Round-Up is a weekly (duh?) thing I do where I swipe news from other, better websites and I regurgitate them with about 10% humour and 90% trying too hard to be funny. Regardless, I do cover a lot of the video game news of the past week so why not come back here every Saturday to see what I have to say?

This week is quite a long post because from April 11 - 13 we are going to be knee deep in PAX East. At the bottom of this article is an area designated for all PAX East news that is of interest to me. Unfortunately I'm not actually there to play or see anything so what I post is only what has been posted on other sites.


TAPOUT In EA Sports UFC June 17
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-sports-ufc-coming-june-17/1100-6418803/

You like sweaty men rolling all over each other but feel like pro-wrestling isn't your thing? Welcome to MMA. If you're like me and can't actually fight in real life but take an interest in the sport, you may want to pick up EA Sports UFC on June 17.

If you pre-order it, you get the "father of mixed martial arts," who is apparently Bruce Lee and not someone from the Pankration days. Turns out you can also get it once you complete the career mode.

But don't go away yet, because I have more EA Sports UFC news! Here's the cover:

We can gather a few things from this cover. Jon Jones gives birth to logos and, well, okay... so maybe it wasn't a few things. In related news, here is the cover that they were going to use until they picked this masterpiece:

Guess What? There's Also Going To Be A Demo For EA Sports UFC
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/yes-there-will-be-a-ea-sports-ufc-demo/1100-6418838/

You'll be able to try out the game before you buy it! Thanks EA! I'll probably never say that again.


Here Are The Specs For Middle-Earth: Shadow of Awesome
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/can-your-pc-run-this-fall-s-lord-of-the-rings-game/1100-6418828/

Minimum:

• OS: 64-bit: Vista, Win 7, Win 8
• Processor: Intel Core i5-750, 2.67 GHz | AMD Phenom II X4 965, 3.4 GHz
• Memory: 4 GB RAM
• Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 560 | AMD Radeon HD 6950
• DirectX: Version 11
• Network: Broadband Internet connection
• Hard Drive: 25 GB available space

Recommended:

• OS: 64-bit: Win 7, Win 8
• Processor: Intel Core i7-3770, 3.4 GHz | AMD FX-8350, 4.0 GHz
• Memory: 8 GB RAM
• Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 670 | AMD Radeon HD 7970
• DirectX: Version 11
• Network: Broadband Internet connection
• Hard Drive: 40 GB available space

Can your computer run it? Do you need me to buy you a new one? Let me know in the comments below.


The Future In Controllers?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/stanford-researchers-create-controller-that-they-say-can-read-your-mind/1100-6418825/

Engineers at Stanford University have made a prototype controller -- a modified Xbox 360 controller -- that reads brain activities. What this means is obviously mind control, but also the potential, eventually, to have a controller that modifies difficulty based on how you're feeling.

The only problem is, nobody who plays games actually thinks. Ba-zing!


Goat Simulator Is About To Get More... Goat Simulatorer
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/world-s-dumbest-game-goat-simulator-gets-a-shrek-mod-splitscreen-mode-and-new-map-on-the-way/1100-6418824/

There's a Shrek mod out there for Goat Simulator, and in May, patch 1.1 is going to be released. The patch includes a new map, more goats and achievements and splitscreen gameplay. This game is going to be the game that keeps on giving.


By The Time You Read This, There Will Be A Lot Of Crappy Xbox One Youtube Videos
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/you-can-upload-xbox-one-gameplay-directly-to-youtube-starting-tomorrow/1100-6418823/

If you want to upload your awesome, or not so awesome, video game footage to Youtube and you own an Xbox One, that is now possible. They have a dedicated Youtube app that will easily put gameplay videos up on that independent, obscure video website.

Thanks Microsoft, now we can see footage of all those games that don't exist on Xbox One.

(I'm just sad that the PS4 doesn't have this yet)


Peter Molyneux Once Again Is Talking
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-s-kinect-is-unnecessary-and-a-joke-molyneux-says/1100-6418839/

Here's something a lot of us can get behind.

"I actually wish Kinect wasn't a requirement. It feels like an unnecessary add-on to me. Maybe it's because we're in England, and it doesn't really use the TV stuff, but it feels more and more like a joke."

First of all:

But also, Peter, jokes are meant to be funny. That's why I don't call the Weekly News Round-Up a joke because no laughs are had.



Not Borderlands 3... Just A Borderlands "Pre-Sequel"
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/rumor-borderlands-pre-sequel-coming-to-xbox-360-ps3-pc/1100-6418809/

When I eat snacks right before I eat supper, I call it "pre-chow." This new Borderlands game that has been announced for PS3, Xbox 360 and PC is something like that. It isn't Borderlands 3, it just comes after Borderlands 2. Check this quote out but keep in mind that regardless of how much specific information is here, it's just a rumor:

"As for the game's rumored story, GamesPointsNow.com says the title will revolve around a younger Handsome Jack and let you play as one of his four lieutenants: Athena The Gladiator, Wilhelm The Enforcer, Nisha The Lawbringer, and Fragtrap--said to be a "militarized Claptrap."

The game is reportedly set on the moon of Elpis and Hyperion's iconic H-shaped base from Borderlands 2. The title is said to offer a "bazillion weapons" to choose from, including a Cryo class of guns which will allow you to freeze and blast your enemies.

The rumored Borderlands title also will feature jetpacks, according to the report, and oxygen is said to play a "huge role" in the game. The oxygen resources will reportedly be lootable and you'll need to manage your O2 levels to survive, the report claims."

UPDATE: OH BUT HERE WE GO BOYS AND GIRLS, BECAUSE I GOT MORE INFO:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjGgtbTgCXI

That video is an IGN preview, and it will go into more detail about what we know, but I have some of the basics. It has four new character classes (thank God), one of which being Claptrap and low gravity which will allow more aerial combat. It will have more content than Borderlands 1 but less than 2, but this is great. I can't wait to play this in Fall of this year.


Phil Spencer Talks, And If He Keeps Talking I'm Going To Have To Give Him His Own Corner Soon
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/gaming-can-revitalize-microsoft-like-music-did-for-apple-new-xbox-boss-says/1100-6418818/

Phil Spencer thinks that gaming can revitalize Microsoft like music did for Apple.


Phil Spencer Was Hurt By the Xbox One DRM Online Controversy
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-drm-online-controversy-hurt-me-personally-says-phil-spencer/1100-6418817/

Ol' Phil was hurt by the controversy because he thinks they build Xboxes for all the right reasons, and he felt that they didn't communicate certain things well enough. Nope, no doublespeak here... just trying to screw consumers originally.

#PhilSpencerHasVerbalDiarrhea


The First ID@Xbox Game Has Arrived
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-ushers-in-a-new-era-as-first-id-xbox-game-arrives/1100-6418842/

Strike Suit Zero: Directors Cut is here! It came out this week and is the first ever game to be released under the ID@Xbox program. So, congrats!



Nintendo Possibly Working On A New IP?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/nintendo-working-on-an-alien-themed-game/1100-6418815/

Read that headline? Yes? I'll give you a second to digest it because not only did the Undertaker lose at Wrestlemania this week... but Nintendo could possibly have a new IP in the works. They trademarked "Code name: S.T.E.A.M. Strike Team Eliminating The Alien Menace."

But don't get too excited because we know how Nintendo does things. They'll probably tie their classic characters into it somehow. Here are some On the Gamely suggestions:

Speaking of Nintendo... Here's The Best News From The Nintendo Direct Held This Week!

The 3DS Version And The Wii U Version Have Different Release Dates
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/08/super-smash-bros-3ds-wii-u-release-windows-revealed

The 3DS version of Super Smash Bros. is set for release in Summer of this year. Yes, that's 2014! This is no surprise though because the 3DS actually gets games at a pretty decent pace.

The Wii U version is set for release in Winter of this year. But it'll really come out in 2021.


Here's How The Multiplayer Works
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/08/how-multiplayer-works-in-super-smash-bros-wii-u-3ds

Both versions have multiplayer. There is a "For Fun" mode which only records wins and has all items to use. The "For Glory" mode records wins and losses while stripping the game of items entirely. The 3DS version also has a mode called "Smash Run" which basically sets players in a level where they rush to get power-ups and then after five minutes they fight each other.

In the local or friend-only multiplayer, you can of course customize as you see fit.

No More Transformations
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/08/character-transformations-removed-from-smash-bros-wii-u-3ds

Any character that changed in previous games no longer does that. Instead, Sheik and Zero Suit Samus are their own characters with enhanced move sets.


Yoshi Returns
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/08/yoshi-returns-in-super-smash-bros-wii-u-3ds

Not only that, but he stands upright! The insanity!

Greninja And Charizard Join The Fight
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/08/two-playable-pokemon-announced-for-super-smash-bros

Yes that's right. You can play as these two Pokemon if you want to. No Pokemon trainer necessary. Good, because he's a knob.

There's Going To Be Some Sort-Of Wii U/3DS Connectivity...

...And a different type of ranking system, and ways to make the online element smooth, friendly and fun for all.


They Talked A Bit About How Characters Would Control

Just watch the whole Direct to get all the details, but they did talk a little bit about changes with some of the characters, and how the new ones would go. Of interest was Little Mac, who is a complete monster when he's on the ground but is terrible anywhere else.


The Nintendo Direct Was So Japan-y!

Yes reader-san, once again the Nintendo Direct had that special Japanese flair to it. They're just so pleasant.

/end Nintendo Direct



More Nintendo -- A New Mario?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/nintendo-confirms-work-has-begun-on-the-next-core-mario-game-but-won-t-say-if-it-s-for-wii-u-or-3ds/1100-6418850/

In news that is surprising to exactly no one, Nintendo has a new core Mario in the works. Is it for 3DS or Wii U? Only Nintendo knows, but if it's for Wii U it is supposedly going to make more use of the Gamepad, which would make it the first game ever to actually use it.


Notch Is Confused About His Feelings
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/the-simpsons-do-a-minecraft-couch-gag-notch-doesn-t-know-how-to-feel-about-it/1100-6418811/

When Notch went to visit his psychiatrist this week, he heard about how the Simpsons did a Minecraft couch gag. Instead of telling his psychiatrist to his face how he felt, he went to Twitter and then his psychiatrist read it. The tweet said:

I STILL feel a bit like it's just this small game I made at home. It's so weird to have all these things happen. <3

I am aware that this has been used so much on the net, but this is the perfect time to break out this meme so fuck it, I'm going for it.

Microsoft Trademarks "Snap Attack"
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-trademarks-a-new-game-called-snap-attack/1100-6418843/

Microsoft trademarked "Snap Attack." If I had to guess, I'd say it's based on Snap Chat.

Or it's an online computer game. Whatever.


Hotline Miami 2 Trailer!
http://www.gamespot.com/videos/hotline-miami-2-wrong-number-dial-tone-trailer/2300-6418192/

In the Hotline Miami 2 trailer (in the link above), there's a lot of blood. I'm talking enough blood that would make the elevator scene in The Shining happy.


Watch Dogs Requires Uplay... Even If You Get It Off Of Steam
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/alongside-its-hefty-system-specs-watch-dogs-on-pc-will-require-uplay/1100-6418836/

It turns out that Watch Dogs will require Uplay, which isn't a surprise. But the fact that it will require it even with Steam is kind of weird. It's not a huge deal, but it seems pointless to me. Or is it? Maybe there's a grand scheme to all of this. Dun dun duuuuun.



The Crew Is Going To Have The Microtransactions
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ubisoft-s-xbox-one-ps4-pc-racing-game-the-crew-launching-this-fall-has-microtransactions-runs-in-1080p/1100-6418853/

Yes The Million Dollar Man is a gag I've used before (just last week!). Get used to it because it'll probably be reoccurring.

Ubisoft is making a racing game called The Crew, and it's going to be out this fall. A lot of us knew of The Crew, but who knew about The Microtransactions? Well, now we do, because if you're a busy gamer you can buy stuff to progress. Ubisoft insists that you can unlock everything in-game though, so don't whine yet.


Microsoft Planning Backwards Compatibility
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-is-thinking-through-its-xbox-360-emulator-for-xbox-one/1100-6418806/

It turns out that Microsoft may eventually add backwards compatibility to the Xbox One, meaning you may get to play Xbox 360 games on it. But as of now they're just plans.

"There are [plans], but we’re not done thinking them through yet, unfortunately."

Think it through 'Soft, think it through. You don't want another "Xbone-At-E3" do you?


Here's The Griffin From The Witcher 3
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/the-witcher-3-s-griffin-is-a-menacing-mix-of-ferocious-cat-and-giant-bird/1100-6418875/

Rawr.

The Last Of Us For PS4 Is Officially Confirmed
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/the-last-of-us-remastered-confirmed-for-ps4-by-sony/1100-6418860/

So there's that.

Here's some more info, quoted from Gamespot:

• Runs in 1080p
• Has higher resolution character models, improved shadows and lighting, and upgraded textures
• Has director's commentary featuring creative director Neil Druckmann, as well as voice actors Troy Baker (Joel) and Ashley Johnson (Ellie)
• Includes expansions Left Behind (single-player) and the Abandoned Territories and Reclaimed Territories expansions

 If You Pre-Order The Game:

• 100 Supply Points (XP) for use in Factions mode
• Two special bonus skins for Joel and Ellie which will be unlocked after your complete the single player campaign
• Increased Crafting Speed for use in the Single Player Campaign
• Increased Healing Speed for use in the Single Player Campaign
• 9mm Reload Speed Increase Upgrade for use in the Single Player Campaign
• Rifle Clip Capacity Increase Upgrade for use in the Single Player Campaign

If you preoder a digital copy of The Last of Us for PS4 from the PlayStation Store, you'll receive extra bonuses for the game's multiplayer component.

• Early Access to the Brawler Survival Skill in Factions Mode
• Early Access to additional Loadout Points for use in Factions mode
• Early Access to the Jeep Cap and Surgical Mask for use in Factions mode

So get ready to Last Of Us... Again! By the way, here's a picture of the remastered version, which is in the trailer.

Nah just kidding, here's a real picture:

You Can Now Create Your Own Capture Jobs In GTA 5 Online
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/create-your-own-gta-5-capture-the-flag-mode-this-friday-what-will-you-make/1100-6418866/

If you care about this news you probably already have GTA 5, but yesterday the Creator Tool went live and you can now create your own Capture Jobs. Like you need more reasons to play GTA 5.


Secret Ponchos Also Coming To PC
http://www.destructoid.com/wild-west-ps4-multiplayer-game-secret-ponchos-also-headed-to-pc-273070.phtml

It appears that not only PS4 owners will get a little taste of multiplayer Wild West action, because the PC (yes, on Steam) will be seeing this bad boy as well. Secret Ponchos is an awesome name and the game looks like a lot of fun.


Never Fear, Atlus Is Here!
http://www.polygon.com/2014/4/9/5599032/citizens-of-earth-indie-rpg-eden-industries-atlus

Citizens of Earth failed to reach its goal on Kickstarter, but Atlus swooped in there this week and now the game will be released on time. I had never heard of Citizens Of Earth but any game influenced by Earthbound should see the light of day.


HOLD UP! TRANSISTOR DROPS IN MAY!
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/bastion-developer-s-next-game-transistor-is-coming-to-pc-and-ps4-in-may/1100-6418899/

The new game by the developers of Bastion are releasing a game named Transistor... in May! On PS4 and PC! For $20! For me! For you!


A Wild Watch Dogs Trailer Has Appeared
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/new-watch-dogs-pc-trailer-shows-off-the-open-world-game-at-its-best/1100-6418902/

There's a new trailer for Watch Dogs in the link above that is meant to show off some of the graphics. Mostly, it's just the main character standing still in random parts of the city, emoting all over the place. But it looks cool.


Something I Never Thought I'd See -- Metal Gear Solid 5 Has Fewer Cutscenes
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/metal-gear-solid-5-the-phantom-pain-to-reduce-cutscenes-in-favour-of-pure-game-storytelling/1100-6418805/ 

Well damn. Yes, say damn in Snake's voice.

It appears that they will be telling their story in Metal Gear Solid 5: Phantom Pain with fewer cutscenes. Normally I'd be more than okay with this but I actually love the cutscenes in the series because Kojima is legitimately talented as a director and sets up great, movie-like shots.


Phil Spencer Wants Microsoft To Build Products That Change The World!
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/head-of-xbox-microsoft-wants-to-build-products-that-change-the-world/1100-6418889/


Phil Spencer likes Microsoft. He thinks that they are awesome and can do all kinds of neat stuff. "Fundamentally, [Microsoft] is a company that wants to do things that change the world. And they have the resources and the ambition to do that," he said in a new interview.

Whoa, hold on. Releasing a product that changes the world isn't always great. Case in point:

Making teenagers even more annoying since 2007.

Oh Yeah, It's PAX East

I Can't Be There To Play It, But Y2K Sounds And Looks Awesome
http://operationrainfall.com/pax-east-y2k/

I can't seem to find any videos or whatnot of the game in action, but the new game from AckkStudios -- Y2k -- looks incredibly interesting. You may ask yourself, why has Tyler chosen this one random indie game over the others? Why is he not talking about Below (which by the way, sounds awesome)?

Because I have been bought.

No, not really, but AckkStudios has shown me some love and I am returning the favour. I legitimately enjoyed Two Brothers, and from what I can tell, this is completely different and it looks awesome. They showed it off at PAX and people seem to be digging it.

Snow news?

Blizzard Announced 4 New Heroes In Heroes Of The Storm
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/11/pax-east-blizzard-announces-4-new-heroes-of-the-storm-characters

From IGN:

• LiLi - "Lili is a new support hero with an ability set that helps her to very effectively aid her teammates throughout the game."

• Brightwing - "Brightwing is a versatile support hero capable of teleporting from ally to ally, healing them and providing them with the help they need to succeed in battle."

• Zagara - "Zagara has map-wide components to her design; she can drop Creep Tumors to spread Zerg Creep, which helps speed up her movement speed, as well as the speed of her summons."

• Murky - "Murky is going to die A LOT, but he’s a hero who eventually overwhelms enemies across multiple battles. He doesn’t need to win every fight; he just needs to win once."

Hearthstone Gets A Single-Player Mode
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/hearthstone-single-player-adventure-curse-of-naxxramas-announced-and-you-can-play-without-spending-a-penny/1100-6418919/

I know absolutely nothing about Hearthstone outside of the fact there are cards and that everyone wants me to play it, so I'll just let quotations from Gamespot handle this one:

The Curse of Naxxramas expansion is scheduled for release sometime this summer, and finally introduces a single-player mode to Hearthstone. Players will need to play through five different sections or “wings” in the dungeon, with one wing to be released each week. The first wing to be released will be the Arachnid Quarter, and each wing will feature new bosses to defeat and new cards to earn. Only the first wing will be free--players will have to buy access to the others using in-game gold or real world money.

Wildstar Launches June 3
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/pc-mmo-wildstar-from-former-blizzard-devs-goes-gold-launches-in-full-june-3/1100-6418925/

Hungry for an MMORPG? Want a game with a name that makes you wonder how a star can be wild? Boy I got some news for you. Wildstar -- developed by former Blizzard designers so HA, I can still include this in the Blizzard News kinda -- is coming out June 3 of this year.

The bad news is that it's yet another MMO with a monthly subscription fee, but you get 30 days free if you buy the standard edition. If you buy the deluxe version you get a few extra things obviously, including a limited edition Eldan dye set!


The Behemoth Is Making A New Game... Called Game 4
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/11/the-behemoth-is-working-on-its-next-game-for-xbox-one

Indie developer The Behemoth is making a new game for Xbox One. It will be playable later this year at a PAX and that's all we know about it. Except this:

Mom??

Harmonix Is Going To Bring Back Rock Band And Dance Central
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/04/11/pax-east-harmonix-has-grand-plans-for-rock-band-dance-central

In news that is great for people like me who can't play guitar, dance or seemingly do anything well, Harmonix announced that they have "grand plans" to bring Rock Band And Dance Central back. Get prepared to ROCK!

At some point...


This Free-To-Play Game Costs $150 If You Want To Play The Alpha
http://www.gameinformer.com/games/orcs_must_die_unchained/b/pc/archive/2014/04/11/the-orcs-must-die-moba-is-fun-but-150-for-early-access-is-steep.aspx

Do you like Orcs Must Die! Well, this third one is going to be free-to-play but if you want to play the Alpha you can buy The Master Founder's Pack for $150 dollars. You get a bunch of stuff but it hardly seems worth it considering it's more than twice the price of a regular game. Even the Million Dollar Man can't justify this.


Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth Was Announced
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/2k-announces-new-sid-meier-s-civilization-game-beyond-earth-channels-alpha-centauri/1100-6418936/

Since his name is always in the title of games, I feel like I should plaster his face on my blog.

The next Civilization is going to the stars. In a completely unbelievable plot, mankind has made great advances in technology but also ruined the world, and now they have to get out of Earth and colonize another poor planet.

I love this idea, and I can't wait until it releases in Fall.


PAX South Is Coming
http://www.destructoid.com/penny-arcade-announces-pax-south-273188.phtml

The Overlords of Penny Arcade have announced PAX South, which will be held in San Antonio, Texas. The first event will take place on January 2015.



Well, that's it for another week of news. I hope you come back next week because I require validation like Elf needs food (badly, they might say), but until then, I will see you later!

P.S. Tweet me your harassment on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime

News Round-Up February 9 - 15: More News About Titanfall, Nintendo And GOAT SIMULATOR?

Written By: Tyler

Hey peeps, what's up? Hope your week is going okay, and now that it's Saturday you can read my long-ass News Round-Up... which is a weekly thing I do where I make fun of some of the more important news of the week. Read on.


Arkham Origins Is A Bug Collector
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/batman-arkham-origins-has-no-plans-to-fix-several-game-breaking-bugs/1100-6417619/

How do you piss off your fans? How do you piss off people that paid for your product? You do exactly what Warner Brothers Montreal did this week. You tell people that if you release a patch, you will address the progression glitches, but you will not fix the other bugs. Why not push DLC over a broken game? I mean, don't even promise people that you'll fix the major issues that literally corrupt save files. Great customer service.


Remember How The Creator Of Flappy Bird Took It Down?

Last week I reported (meaning I ripped the news off of other, more credible sites... and Twitter) that the creator of Flappy Bird issued a Refused style break-up message with Flappy Bird and took it down. Well don't worry, because there's more!

You can buy a phone with Flappy Bird on it if you don't already have it... for a tremendous amount of money. Or you could buy one of the many clones that have popped up.

No... this:

Jonathan Blow would love this.

Oh, people.


Steam Update Rolls In, Shows New Updates
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/10/steam-store-adds-a-recently-updated-section

Valve updated Steam this week and the new update is an easy way to tell what games have recently been given updates. Of course this will be a good way to go back to old games. Great, just what I need, more reasons to play more games.


Minecraft-Inspired Movie SHUT DOWN
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-inspired-movie-shut-down/1100-6417633/

The Minecraft movie that wasn't licensed by Notch that apparently didn't even have a deal in place was shut down. It's really not a surprise that Notch shut it down "Brendan Schaub vs Cyborg Abreu at Metamoris II" style considering the director of the movie doesn't own the IP.


Watch Dogs For The Wii U Delayed
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/10/watch-dogs-coming-to-wii-u-later-than-other-systems

Once upon a time there was this game called Watch Dogs that flew under the radar. When it came close to release date, it got delayed but very few people cared. Now it's scheduled for release in the Spring... except for Wii U. It's very rare that bad things happen to the Wii U so this isn't such a big deal.

...

World of Speed Is Coming And It's Going To Be Free
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/world-of-speed-a-racing-mmo-with-grand-ambitions/1100-6417561/

World of Speed is an ambitious free-to-play... oh wait, I have to listen to the internet grumble for a bit over "free-to-play."

Titanfall Will Not Allow You To Shoot Through Walls
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-dev-explains-why-you-can-t-shoot-through-walls/1100-6417629/

In a decidedly non-Next-Gen move, Respawn announced that you can not shoot through walls in the much hyped Titanfall. So of course, in the comments section the internet erupted and argued about why this does or doesn't make sense. Screw you Titanfall! It doesn't make sense to have Titans destroying everything! This is going to be shit like CoD! Battlefield 4 rulez! DUDE TITANFALL ISN'T OUT YET! I PEED MY PANTS!

It was an internet war unlike any other, and many lives were lost. They will be missed.


New Call of Duty Will Prioritize Next-Gen Consoles and PC
http://www.destructoid.com/this-year-s-call-of-duty-to-prioritize-pc-ps4-xbox-one-270313.phtml

Speaking of next-gen, do I have some news for you.

Instead of making something for current gen (last gen? What IS IT NOW?), Sledgehammer is going to develop for the brand spankin' new consoles and PC and then port to the old systems from there. What this means is that in the new CoD we will have two dogs on screen at a time during campaign and we will also see real fish AI like Super Mario 64 since we'll be able to handle it now.


Supposedly Dark Souls 2 Is Rated T
http://www.destructoid.com/dark-souls-ii-earns-a-t-rating-from-the-esrb-270295.phtml

Unless T stands for TerriblyFrustrating, I don't see how this can be true. Due to the extremely dark and maddening aspects of the game, I would rate it CB for Chris Benoit... because it's so difficult you'll kill yourself and your family.

Too soon.

Remember That Flappy Bird Game I Talked About... Above?
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/11/flappy-bird-creator-explains-why-he-pulled-the-game

Basically, people are assholes and addicts and he didn't want to be a part. Well played dude, even if the game sucks.


Murasaki Baby -- The Trailer Is Weird, But... Strangely Alluring (Like Your Mom)
http://ca.ign.com/videos/2014/02/11/murasaki-baby-vitas-weirdest-game

If you'd ignore the fact that I made a "your mom" joke for a second and go to that link and watch the trailer for this new promising Vita game, you'll understand what I mean when I post this:

Goat Simulator
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/goat-simulator-is-a-real-game-that-s-really-happening/1100-6417672/


It's not very often that a random game shoots up my "Most Anticipated Games" list, but this one did. I'm not even joking. There is no joke here. I don't have to make one because the video will make you laugh.


Sons of Anarchy Game Is Still In Production
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sons-of-anarchy-game-back-on-will-be-f-ing-awesome/1100-6417670/

Kurt Sutter, the creator of SoA, says that the game is in production and it's going to be "fucking awesome." Straight to the point, I like it.

In all seriousness I might play the game if Rockstar makes it -- even though the idea of an SoA game doesn't overly appeal to me (despite being a huge fan of the show) -- because they made The Warriors and that was fantastic. They also made uh, Grand Train Audio or whatever, so it might be okay.


PS4 100+ games
Microsoft 25 bucks for usage of head phones


But Enough About That Shit, Let's Hear What EA Has To Say

In the first ever EA Corner, we got the stuff that EA says, except for the things they say in private to their wives and husbands because that's probably creepy. Whenever EA says something I will be here to make the same jokes about it that I do every week. Without EA I wouldn't even have a weekly news round-up.

It's important to note that it's what EA says, not Respawn (hence Titanfall news being above). I don't want to confuse all three of my readers, you know. Let's get on it.


EA CFO (Certified Fork Operator) Blake Jorgensen stated that Titanfall is going to be a series that is around for a long, long time. Yeah, well at least a year because that's how long it's going to take to hammer out the bugs to make it work because you force it out early. Ba dum tsss.

EA CFO (Cranky Fish Omnipotent) Blake Jorgensen said that mobile games won't kill consoles. That's right, because EA will. Zing!

EA chief creative officer Rich Hilleman... wait where's Blake? Dammit, I had something going there. Anyway, Rich Hillerman went all Tower Defense and defended the crappy launch of Battlefield 4 basically stating that he won't accept that people think it's a bad product and doesn't think customers will say that anyway. He also said that they will learn from their past mistakes. Just like with Sim City. OH SNAP!

Well that concludes The EA Corner for now. Let's move onto other news.


Like The Nintendo Direct That Was Held This Week

Every Nintendo fan gets excited for Nintendo Direct. I'm no different. We shouldn't have gotten our hopes up too much because Nintendo said it was focused on games releasing this Spring (despite a couple games being shown that have later release dates).

But there's always that hope that BANG, NEW ZELDA! Or Metroid. Or Star Fox. Or Earthbound. Whatever. We didn't get it, spoiler tags.

We now know that Little Mac is in Smash Bros, which is awesome. We finally saw a little more of THE GREATEST RPG EVER -- X. We saw some more Bayonetta 2, Mario Kart, Donkey Kong, Yoshi's New Island, etc.

We saw some games that are coming for the eShop, and admittedly some of them look cool.

We saw the tears of all Nintendo fanboys.

We saw more about games we already know about. It was about par for the course with Nintendo Direct, and yet I keep getting hyped. I was going to make a hype train picture but it turns out there's already a bunch of them. Well played, Internet.


Steam Going To Have Tags
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/12/valve-introduces-user-generated-steam-tags

Now you can categorize stuff! Yay! FINALLY!

...

In all seriousness I like how the article makes sure to mention that swear words will be censored. Dang.


Farting Will Feel Authentic in the South Park RPG
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/south-park-rpg-will-make-farting-feel-authentic/1100-6417695/

In what is surely the most important news of the week, Trey Parker said that the farting will feel authentic, and I quote, "It was really important that you didn't just press a button to fart. You need to feel it go out of your asshole."

I agree! 100%. This is wonderful news, and it's nice that we're finally getting realism in our games. I think this game was meant for the Oculus Rift... if it was... on your... ass.


Square Enix Says FFXV Is Far Into Development
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/final-fantasy-15-quite-far-into-development

In some reassuring news, especially considering the news before that they weren't sure when the game would be released, Square Enix says that FFXV -- the latest entry in the most final series of all time -- is far into development.

I also learned that there are direct sequels coming. Do you remember the days when Final Fantasy games would just be standalones? Because Square doesn't.

Now, just get The World Ends With You 2 underway and we'll be good.


Hideo Kojima Loves the PS4 The Mostest Forever <3
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/hideo-kojima-praises-the-power-of-the-ps4

The article states, however, that the Xbone hasn't been released in Japan yet so Kojima may not have included it in his statement.


Xbox One Patch To Fix The Controller Input
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/xbox-one-patch-to-fix-controller-input-for-titanfall

Titanfall apparently runs roughshod over everything, but it's good because now the Xbox One update that is coming later this month will fix the controller input because now it's "overly twitchy."

CandySwipe Developer Published An Open Letter to King
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/12/candyswipe-dev-publishes-open-letter-to-candy-crush-publisher

As the title states, Albert Ransom -- who developed CandySwipe -- published an open letter on King.com which basically states that King are assholes and that they win, just in nicer terms.

If you aren't aware of King, they tried to mess things up for The Banner Saga too because Saga is in the title so they don't want the Viking epic to be confused with Candy Crush Saga.

Meanwhile, in a dark alley way, King are hanging out with EA. True story.


The Evil Within Gets A Release Date
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/14/the-evil-within-release-date-announced

The Evil Within, the documentary about this blog, gets a release date... and it's right now. Nah it's August 26. Prepare to piss yourself at the end of summer.


Xbox Live Gold Is Free Right Now
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-live-gold-free-for-all-this-weekend-on-xbox-360/1100-6417715/

If you're one of the few people who don't have Xbox Live Gold, then it's actually free this weekend. I don't have any jokes here, I've just realized that I don't often put positive Microsoft news. #microsoftsux


Bungie Reveals One Of The Mounts In Destiny
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/destiny-bungie-unveils-the-shrike-vehicle

PETA be damned.

The mount is called the Shrike.


Why Not Release a Hitman Game That Isn't Like Other Hitman Games?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/hitman-getting-a-turn-based-strategy-game-for-real/1100-6417725/

Square Enix Montreal apparently agrees with that sentiment because they are developing a Hitman game for tablets and mobile that is a turn-based strategy game.

I'm just going to go ahead and ignore every Hitman game from now on until they literally come out and say, "Hey. We are done experimenting with a franchise that shouldn't be experimented with, we've decided Absolution pissed on everything and we're going back to what made the games so good from the beginning to Blood Money."

What is the over-under on that happening?


In Much Better News, The Arma 3 DLC Is Kind Of Like Dungeons and Dragons
http://www.destructoid.com/arma-3-s-zeus-dlc-introduces-a-new-role-game-master-270495.phtml

Oh shit.

The Zeus Game Master DLC will allow players to basically be Dungeon Masters and control objectives, spawn units, etc. I don't know how this is going to work in a game like Arma, but that's a damn cool idea and Square Enix Montreal should listen to the developers of this.


Gearbox Not Working On Borderlands 3 Now, I Repeat, Gearbox NOT Working On Borderlands 3 Now

I don't even know what to do. I don't know where to go, who to talk to. I don't know who to blame. I am so lost.

Oh you bet your ass I can. And I do.


Halo 5 Coming To Xbox In 2015... Maybe?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/halo-5-coming-to-xbox-in-2015-according-to-master-chief-voice-actor-update/1100-6417742/

Nobody really knows except for the developers. But we like to just latch onto stuff one individual says. That's what we do.


DayZ May Come To PS4 and Xbone
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-and-ps4-could-get-open-world-zombie-game-dayz/1100-6417765/

This is great news to anybody who doesn't have a PC that can run DayZ. Mind you, it'll probably be better on PC but it's nice when more people are able to get killed by other, better geared players and rage quit. Console gamers should be thankful for this potential awesomeness.


Video Games May Help With Dyslexia
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/video-games-are-good-for-you-may-help-manage-dyslexia/1100-6417764/

May also help you with boredom.

It's always nice when articles like this come out because there are always going to be critics of video games who still see them as useless and a waste of time. Now however, instead of just praising this discovery and using it to better our lives, we can slap it in the face of hatas.

VIDEO GAMED.

And so there you have it -- some of the most important news of the week. Make sure to tune in next week when I make fun of more news and quietly lament Ellen Page being gay because now there's even less chance than there was before.