Showing posts with label DayZ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DayZ. Show all posts

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Naked Bald Men And KOSers -- My (Long-Ass) Rust Alpha Impressions

Written By: Tyler
Important Info: http://www.rustmap.net (it's the map, duh)


Rust is in Early Access Alpha, like seemingly every game that comes out on Steam these days, but I didn't start playing it until recently. Up until a month ago, my computer couldn't actually run it, but I didn't get Rust right away even when I got a new computer because I'm not an Alpha guy. I appreciate the idea of it in the sense it can help fine-tune a game, at least according to what the gamers want, but I don't really have that much of an interest in playing an unfinished game.

But Rust -- and DayZ, though I haven't gotten that -- was a special case for me. I love and hate the idea of it. Since I've never played a game like this before, meaning a survival game with a lot of emphasis on PvP, Rust is intriguing to me. Take Minecraft and DayZ and throw them together, get rid of zombies and ta-da, you got a game that sounds awesome.

Yet also kind of, potentially terrible. This could be a game that's destined to either "Best Game Ever" or "Rage Quit On The Daily" status. What do I mean by this? Glad I asked.

The building is simple. You gather resources and build a house. Games like Minecraft have been doing this for years, and I spent a fair amount of time playing Terraria. I like this gameplay innovation and enjoy that more games do it. These resources also add to the survival aspects because you have to kill animals and cook your food, while keeping yourself warm and safe from the elements. You can craft various weapons to protect yourself. It's still in basic stages but it's fun, though I don't know for how long because there isn't a whole lot you can do right now.

Oh yeah, there's also perma-death so if you die, you lose everything you have on you.

The selling point for Rust was the PvP, at least for me. The idea of meeting randoms in a post-apocalyptic world, not knowing if they will be friendly or hostile, is a turn-on. Seeing how a social infrastructure would form is fascinating. Will you meet someone who will be part of building a village in order to survive? Will a giant group of people just walk around slaughtering everyone?



I was going to piece together a highlight video of me playing Rust, but this hasn't happened yet (keeping it open for the future though) for a couple reasons.
  • Elder Scrolls Online is now out so I have to put time into that, while still trudging through Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls.
  • There aren't enough highlights to even warrant a video at this point.
I would imagine my first reason is pretty self-explanatory but it's the second point that will make up a lot of this post, conveniently separated into a day format to fully express my views and feelings towards this whole thing.


Day 1 - Play For Maybe 5 And A Half Hours... Enjoyed Maybe 30 Minutes

My brother and I buy Rust because it's about teaming up more than going alone, at least in theory. Pumped to play, even if it is Alpha, we fire it up. We spawn in an area we obviously aren't familiar with as a bald man with a rock, and we wonder how to invite each other so we can play together.

Only you can't. So we walk, walk, walk and walk. We occasionally die from either animals, because we think that our rock can kill some of these, or humans that are better equipped than us. Hell, sometimes other noobs with rocks attack us too.

When we die we respawn in an area we still don't know. We wonder if there's a map... nope. No compass, nothing. We are out in this brand new area, completely unaware of the environment. Lost, confused, but not yet angry, we both travel, trying desperately to find one another. We notice that there's a road, so we walk the road because we figure that's out best chance.

Bad idea. That's a perfect area for people to kill us.

So we walk around some more. Even though there are buildings populating the area, they're mostly all just wood with metal doors. Sure, they're different sizes, but everything looks the same in this game. I understand going for realism, but it's very hard to navigate in this game, especially for someone like me who is apparently terrible at navigation. Since it's a game and not real-life, it would be nice to have a compass or something. Though later I learn that you can follow the sun and moon, but I can't be bothered to do that because I suck.

If people aren't killing us, they're asking us if we're friendly. Sometimes people kill you regardless of what you say.

Eventually I find someone nice who gives me some stuff, like a gun. This is almost two hours in, and while I'm aware that meeting friendly people is basically dependent on when you're playing, it's nice to see someone who isn't trying to kill me.

I still haven't found my friend, and this guy says I can stay there but I tell him that I'm looking for my friend, I say "Thanks for the stuff" and I go on my way. Luckily I eventually find my brother and the game is fun for probably half an hour. We manage to craft a single sleeping bag that I use because my brother knows that I always get lost, and we go out to get more cloth (which is needed to make sleeping bags). For those who don't know, the sleeping bag is a god-send. It is what you use to set up camp, meaning when you have a sleeping bag, you can now respawn at that sleeping bag.

We also build a small shack with a wooden door and a box to put our stuff in. We have no materials to make a metal door.

The best encounter of the night is when we're walking by some houses (who are our neighbours), and it gets tense. There is someone on top of the roof, and we hear them talking. The basic conversation goes like this:

Them: There are people there.
Us: We're friendly. [We keep running, but they keep talking about us]
Them: Is that a gun? [I still have a gun at this point]
My Brother: Yes, this is a gun. [He admits later to me that he figured that would either make them back off or make them come get us... it was badass how he said it to them though]

It's a small moment, but it's where Rust shines.

Eventually my brother dies and we're separated once again. We continue looking for one another, repeating the process from before, and at one point he's in an area that has absolutely nothing there. Eventually we quit for the night and we don't even think we like the game.


"Make friends." That's... arguable.

Day 2 - First Ever Raid, But We Enjoy The Game


I get a few texts while I'm at work from my brother who says that there is a map online, and that some servers allow you to teleport to people. There are also starter kits in some servers. We apparently hadn't chosen one of them, but we choose not to start over again because we do already have one sleeping bag laid down. Surely it can't be too hard to find each other and make another?

We turn on the game and we've gotten raided. It was our fault -- we created a wooden door which is pretty easy to knock down. Everything we managed to get is gone, and it's frustrating, but we knew something like this could happen.

But this is where a big complain of mine comes into play. The idea of raiding houses is fine and probably necessary, because this kind of thing would happen in the real world. But I wish there were some sort of system set-up that you could be notified, at least if you're sleeping in your house, when someone is raiding you. Think about it: in the real world if you're sleeping in a house and people are banging down your door, you'll probably hear it. I'm not a game developer, and I'm not sure how you'd implement anything to help, but I wish it existed. Though it's not realistic, it'd be nice to be told who raided your house.

We start over again, and eventually find one another. I think this is the point that we put down another sleeping bag, and I could be wrong here, but I think I enjoyed playing the game the rest of the night. Sure you had people who kill on sight (KOSer), but I believe I started meeting people. I'm not that social in real-life, but I seem to like mingling in this game. We have some neighbours and sometimes the area they're in is a death trap, but mostly it's pretty cool.

We get resources, build up the house, and I believe this is where we put in metal doors.

One encounter I remember is when I walk up to a house and there's a guy standing there. This is the basic conversation.

Me: Yo. What's up?
[Someone else walks out of the building, I think I'm going to die]
Guy 2: Woo we have a party!
Me: Yeah!
[Another guy arrives, with clothes on. I think I'm going to die]
Guy 3 (With Clothes): Hey, what's up?
Me: My gay life mate is back at the house so I'm out here looking for a good time.
Guy 3: Oh daaaaaamn. Want to come back to my place? I have lots of animal fat to show you.
Me: Oh that's tempting. I have a giant rock.

Time passes, having gay talk.

Me: Well I have to go now guys, I'll be back later for the orgy.

I laugh and tell this story to a friend when I see him. Rust makes you want to act gay if you're a guy because you're a half-naked (though you can choose not to censor your giant wang as far as I know) bald man. I don't know. Just seems right.


Day 3 - The Most Fun I've Had In Rust

It's not a day unlike the others. We mine resources, my brother gets really into building a house, and I'm apparently a social butterfly because fuck survival, I want to party. #YOLO

I have a lot of fun on Day 3. I make a friend, who I won't call out here because I learn some things about him later on. We keep running into each other, and he could easily kill me but doesn't. The first time I meet him he asks me what's up and I say I'm trying to figure out who raided my house. He laughs, and I tell him I'm a detective on a case. He could have very well have been the one who raided me.

While we're talking someone shoots at him. But not me. Later on I wonder if the guy shooting was protecting me. We try to find the guy, I say I'll try to draw him out because I don't have anything anyway, but me and my friend end up getting separated when he says he's going to go around the mountain.

So now Detective Tyler has two goals:
  • Find out who raided my house.
  • Find out who shot my friend.
When I eventually see my friend again, I ask if he ever found the guy who attempted to murder him. He said no. I say, "Well I guess it's a cold case then."

  • Find out who raided my house.
  • Find out who shot my friend. [cold case]
Eventually him and I have a rave party at night using his flashlight and my torch. We go about our merry way.

My brother has an idea of who it was that raided us. Whether it's true or not, he hatched a plan to infiltrate them. It was going to be the biggest betrayal of all time.  We would have done it too.

What I noticed on Day 3 is that the chat is helpful. People often expose KOSers and people who are raiding. It's very helpful. I see my friend calling out a guy called cjmason, who I'm assuming is a KOSer. Since I'm supportive of my friend, I tell him that I will also help kill cjmason. My brother agrees to as well. Now we're out for blood.

  • Find out who raided my house.
  • Find out who shot my friend [cold case] -- Though now I think it's cjmason.
  • Find and terminate cjmason.
At one point I have a heart-warming moment. A noob comes up to me and asks if we can team up. "I'm just going home," and he asks if he can come with. He sounds like a kid but he's super polite. I want to help him but my brother doesn't know if we should let people in. To my brother's defense, I didn't tell him how nice the kid sounded, and I agree that maybe letting someone in is a bad move. I end up losing the guy, and I go back home.

Then we make up our minds that if we see the guy we should help him. So I do actually find him again and we give him a place to stay. We give him a metal door and a sleeping bag. We're amassing an army.

The last memorable encounter I've had with someone is when I went to see one of my neighbours. He tells me he got raided before, and I feel bad because I was totally there before, man. He tells me who did it.

It was my friend.

I tell him that that guy was friendly to me, but he is clearly not a fan of my friend. The plot thickens. I add "Ask my friend about his secretive past" to my To-Do list but I haven't done it yet.

So the rest of the night is basically just normal stuff. Getting wood, bashing rocks with a rock, killing animals, getting lost at night, building a house.  As the night goes on it becomes less fun, with different people online, but I end the night having enjoyed Day 3 immensely.


Day 4 - I Don't Really Like Rust Anymore (Again)

Someone tried to raid us but because of the build of our house and metal doors, they didn't succeed. We had a pretty good tactic that seemed to work. Awesome.

Most of the time I spend playing Day 4 sucks. People are annoying in chat, everyone is a KOSer, I call someone a dick and he tells me he hates me... it's hard to get anything going. The people I enjoyed talking to aren't on when I get on.

I quickly stop wanting to play but I keep going anyway, running out into the wilderness to see what I can find.

It was always entirely possible that the people would ruin the experience for me. I think my main problem is that there aren't any real consequences. Since it's a game, you can't fully nail that feeling of "surviving in a post-apocalyptic world," so people kill without remorse or consequences.

It's hard to know how people would react if they were thrust into this position, but I'm going to wager that people don't go on murderous rampages because a) most people haven't reached that level of dickdom and b) because it's beneficial not to be a dick all the time. There are consequences in the real-world.

In my experience if you see a guy with a gun, most of the time you're going to die. They kill people who only have rocks seemingly just because. It's not that I'm angry, it's that I get a little frustrated because it's hard to enjoy this game I paid for. Ultimately it's just a game though, and I realize this, which is why trolling and griefing don't really work on me. It does get really old constantly getting killed though.

It's not that I don't want people to kill other people. That's part of why the game is tense, but everyone on Day 4 seemed to think it was the only way to play.

Rust could be so much. In my mind I imagine people resurrecting a walled village where people take turns protecting the fort, while other people go out for resources. I don't know if Rust will ever get to this level or not, but I'm still fascinated by the potential.

There isn't anything remotely good to report about Day 4 until the end. My brother meets a neighbour who is apparently a "squatter" (haha, awesome). I eventually come back and also meet the guy. He gives us a gun! He's super friendly and we show him where we live. He compliments the work that my brother has done on building the house because my brother put his heart and soul into that.

We add him to our Steam friends list, we chat a bit. He tells us he has to go shower and then he'll be back, but we had to go shortly after.


The End Of Rust (For Now)?


This is the end of Rust for me right now. I don't know if I'll go back while it's still in Alpha or not. Like I said earlier, I got Elder Scrolls Online and Diablo 3 to play through. Other games will pop up as well.

There are other small encounters with people that I didn't mention, but I think I mentioned the best ones. 

I'll definitely check out Rust once it hits its official launch because I want to see how the world grows and develops, and I'll admit that the relationships that I started to cultivate are urging me to go back, but when I look at it objectively... I enjoyed maybe half my time with Rust.

I'm not giving it a score because this isn't that kind of article, but if you're like me and watched funny videos with The Chief and expected it to be like that... you'll be disappointed. Outside of the KOSers and hackers -- which I forgot to mention until right now -- there is a lot of doing the same old, same old. Right now I don't think there's enough content, outside of the social interactions, to warrant playing a long time.

Rust has a lot of potential to be awesome, and despite my frustration towards some of it, I truly believe that it will be.

Saturday, 29 March 2014

Weekly News Round-Up, March 23 - 29: Facebook Buys Oculus Rift! Oh The Horror!

Written By: Tyler


We have seen a lot happen this week. EA happened some more, Minecraft did stuff, and games were played. I know you're busy because you have a life, so I have taken it upon myself to update you with all the most -- or at least some of it -- interesting video game news of the past week.

This week I've decided to make it a Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley theme, because that guy is weird and I love him. His facial expressions and reactions are great for everything.



Let's Start This Week Off Right -- EA CEO Talks Getting Things "A Little Bit" Wrong
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-ceo-when-we-get-it-a-little-bit-wrong-we-do-our-best-to-fix-it/1100-6418484/

I'll start this bad boy off with a direct quote that's in that link above:

“For whatever reason, whether it was because they were pushing the boundaries of innovation and they pushed a little hard and things didn't go so well," Wilson told Fortune, referring the SimCity offline debacle, endless Battlefield 4 issues, and problems with NBA Live 14. "We won't always get everything right, but my hope is that we're seen as a company that tries to do amazing things. When we get it a little bit wrong, we do our best to fix it."


The internet does not like you, EA.
EA Voted Worst Company In America AGAIN


Speaking Of EA Being A Crappy Company -- They Won't Win "Worst Company In America" A Third Time
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-won-t-be-named-worst-company-in-america-this-year/1100-6418513/

Time Warner Cable narrowly edged out EA so EA won't be able to complete the hat trick.

Denied!
 I haven't trusted Time Warner since they sold World Championship Wrestling anyway.


EA Delays Battlefield 4 DLC Until Whenever Because Of A "Hiccup"
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/battlefield-4-naval-strike-dlc-hiccup-causes-pc-delay/1100-6418518/

Battlefield 4: Naval Strike won't not be released for a bit as they hammer out a problem with the PC version. It still has shown up on consoles, but you're trying to tell me that the PC version of Battlefield 4 has problems?



At this point I'm so glad that the computer I was using before my new one couldn't run Battlefield 4.


EA Planning To Make The Star Wars Games Like The Batman: Arkham Games
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/ea-plans-to-model-star-wars-games-on-batman-arkham-series

EA is taking influence from the Batman: Arkham series in the sense that the Star Wars games aren't going to be tied to any existing Star Wars movies. Taking ideas from other companies concerning their own games? I thought they were too busy innovating.


Origin Isn't Going To Sell Physical Copy Of Games Starting April 4
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-s-origin-service-will-stop-selling-disc-based-games-next-week/1100-6418630/

That's right! Nobody likes Origin but here's a story for you all. It will be a digital-only service come April 4th.


But Wait, You Can Get Dead Space For Free On Origin Now
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/dead-space-free-on-origin-as-the-first-title-in-ea-s-on-the-house-promotion/1100-6418601/

You can now get Dead Space for free on Origin as part of their "On The House" program. Why is EA doing this? Because they feel bad for screwing with gamers all these years Because they are gamers too, stating, "We appreciate you making Origin your gaming home...and besides, who doesn't like free stuff?"

No I'm not making fun of homeless people.


Saint's Row Developer Was Making A Post-Apocalyptic Western Open-World Game
http://www.destructoid.com/volition-was-making-a-post-apocalyptic-western-272402.phtml

And now they aren't because it would have taken too long. Dammit! I feel screwed.


Escape Goat 2 Has Arrived... But Check Out This Awesome Trailer
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/double-fine-introduces-escape-goat-2-with-second-funniest-trailer-of-the-year-so-far/1100-6418515/

In the link above there is a trailer to the new game Escape Goat 2, which you can now buy. Admittedly, the trailer doesn't show a lot of gameplay (but there are other trailers available) and is entertaining because it's just funny.

Escape Goat 2 comes out this year, and then there is Goat Simulator. Could it be that including goats in games is the new trend and making open-world games is out? Only time will tell.

Pick up Escape Goat 2 NOW! I made it! No I didn't...


Marc Whitten May Be Leaving Microsoft, But He Praises The Xbox One Future
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/marc-whitten-promises-xbox-one-is-just-beginning

Even though he's peacing out of Microsoft, he has said that Microsoft is on their way to reaching what they want the Xbox One to be.

Yeah.

The New Mario Kart Still Has The Same Release Date, Even Though There Was Some Confusion
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/nintendo-refutes-mario-kart-8as-early-release-date

Nintendo cleared that stuff up like it was acne. The game is still coming out May 30, not a couple weeks before.


Here's When You Can Start Ignoring Your Family
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/elder-scrolls-online-announces-exact-launch-times/1100-6418485/

You want to know when Elder Scrolls Online officially launches? So does everyone else. Here are the times for the launch:
  • North America (East): 7:00 PM EDT, Thursday, April 3
  • UK/IE: 12:00 AM WEST, Thursday, April 4
  • Central Europe: 1:00 AM CEST, Thursday, April 4
  • Sydney, Australia: 10:00 AM AEDT, Thursday, April 4
  • Singapore: 7:00 AM SGT, Thursday, April 4
Also in that link are the times for the three day early access and five day early access. Somewhere also in that link is a link that takes you to a page made by the uncle of your best friend's mother that tells you the secret of the Universe.


Minecraft On The PS3 And 360 Get A Big Update 
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-ps3-xbox-360-versions-getting-major-update/1100-6418483/

Not sick of playing Minecraft on last-gen consoles? Well, they got your back. A big update is rolling out that offers new terrain generation options, new potions, blocks, and even a carrot on a stick special item that allows you to ride pigs.

Yes, this is happening. By the way, that's a carrot on a stick in case you can't tell.

TITANFALL Gets A Balancing Update
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-update-fixes-bugs-adjusts-balancing-makes-the-smart-pistol-less-lethal/1100-6418482/

In the link above (god I love just being able to link things... it makes my work so much easier) there is a huge list of the balancing updates that have hit indie game TITANFALL. Most noticeably, the Smart Pistol has been nerfed which makes me go:



Luftrausers Took 2 And A Half Years To Develop, Already Makes A Profit
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/indie-game-luftrausers-took-2-5-years-to-make-becomes-profitable-in-72-hours/1100-6418508/

Luftrausers only took 72 hours to make a profit, which is great news for the indie developers. Take that Minecraft, you gigantic money making bastard!


Nintendo And Sony Not Going To PAX East
http://www.destructoid.com/microsoft-will-be-at-pax-east-sony-and-nintendo-won-t-272409.phtml

Don't worry, Microsoft will be at PAX East, but Nintendo and Sony won't. In the link above there is a list of the people/companies/groups that will be attending. Some other companies that won't be showing up are "Nintendo, Sony, EA Games, Capcom, Sega, Warner Bros Interactive, Twisted Pixel and Deep Silver." (I'm a real journalist and I stole that from Destructoid so I quote it... how professional)

Those are some big names not showing up. I'm too much of a wrestling fan to not be skeptical though, and I think this is a work. I think they're just plotting something behind the scenes and what we're seeing is the 2014 game version of the:

Or if you wanna be more topical and not stuck in the 90s... the companies are working a CM Punk angle.
Don't worry, they'll be there. They're going to invade PAX East brothers.


Sony Gets Rid Of "Numerous" Employees In Guerilla Cambridge, SCE London And Evolution
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/sony-layoffs-hit-evolution-guerilla-and-sce-london

I never make fun of layoffs in the Weekly News Round-Up because this is always sad to hear.


Microsoft Is Implementing The Major League Gaming App For The Xbox 360
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/mlg-app-comes-to-xbox-360-lets-you-watch-live-broadcasts/1100-6418498/

If you have Xbox Live Gold, then you'll also be able to watch Major League Gaming on your 360. Major League Gaming isn't to be confused with Major League Baseball -- if you're like me and you originally just skimmed through the article and thought it said MLB -- because I wouldn't want anybody to confuse a fake sport with a real sport.

Just kidding eSports, you know I love you.


Don't Expect Toki Tori 3
http://www.destructoid.com/don-t-expect-toki-tori-3-anytime-soon-272419.phtml

Apparently there isn't an audience for it, so fans of the series shouldn't expect a third entry any time soon. Don't worry I won't!

Toki Tori is actually a series I've meant to play but haven't yet. So it's my fault guys, sorry.


Remember The Ouya?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/all-of-ouya-s-games-have-free-trials-but-that-s-going-to-change/1100-6418500/

Yeah, me neither.
The Ouya is going to have slightly different policies. From what I can understand, originally developers had to create a demo for the console which cut into actually making the game. But now, instead of forcing developers to do that, they can now choose to have a free-to-try or paid model. So now, Ouya is getting rid of demos and implementing a system where Ouya will have demos.


Ubisoft Vice President Of Creative Lionel Raynaud Makes A Statement... Gets Bluff Called
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/virtual-reality-devices-need-to-sell-1-million-units-before-ubisoft-gets-interested-update/1100-6418392/

Lionel Raynaud is excited about Virtual Reality systems like Project Morpheus, Oculus Rift or actually going outside and experiencing life... but said that they would need major numbers sold in order for Ubisoft to use the new technology. He said VR would need to sell a million units.

Then, someone else from Ubisoft came out and was basically like, "nah, 1 million isn't actually what it would take dudez." That's a direct quote, obviously.


Blizzard Says Diablo 3 Is In Development For Xbox One
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/diablo-3-in-development-for-xbox-one-but-blizzard-not-sure-if-it-will-ever-launch/1100-6418494/

...but says they don't know if it'll be released, due to contracts and whatnot.

So they're developing a game that they know may not be released?

In unrelated news, I traveled to the future and in a year Blizzard lays off employees.


Rich And Don't Know What To Do With Yourself?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/white-xbox-ones-appear-on-ebay-can-be-yours-for-1500-and-up/1100-6418493/

The way I see it is that if you're rich you have two options.  You can either send me money or you can buy this white Xbox One for $1500 and up.



Super Mario Bros. 3 Hits The Wii U And 3DS Virtual Console April 17th
http://www.destructoid.com/super-mario-bros-3-is-finally-hitting-the-virtual-console-on-april-17th-272465.phtml

In a shocking turn of events, Nintendo is finally putting a Mario game on one of their systems!

If you want to play arguably the greatest Mario of all time, make sure to pick it up. There are other games coming soon too like Metroid Fusion, Golden Sun and more.


Ubisoft Going Hard On PAX East
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/ubisoft-to-demo-watch-dogs-trials-fusion-and-more-at-pax-east

Ubisoft is going to demo Trials Fusion, Child of Light, Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Phantoms, and The Mighty Quest For Epic Loot... along with Watch Dogs. Sounds great, but who's going to watch, uh, play, play the... Watch the Watch Dogs? I give up. This was messed from the beginning. I'm sorry.


Lorne Lanning Has Anger Issues
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/oddworld-creator-lashes-ea-talks-abeas-oddysee-remake 

Lorne Lanning in his Black Metal band.

The Oddworld creator had a little bit to say about EA and Oddworld:

On Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty

“We still see press calling it an HD remake, and it’s not a f--king HD remake."

On EA
“F--k that business. I don’t want to play with that business, because it was a losing business. I just don’t want to go back and play the old [publisher] game. I’d rather not make games than go f--king be a slave for public companies who care more about their shareholders than they do about their customers."

“Why did Battlefield 4 ship? You know that team was crying. You know that team knew that game wasn’t ready to go. You know that team f--king spent a lot of sleepless nights building that s--t out to look as good and play as good, when it was able to be experienced, being played as they were intending it to be played. Someone made a decision that the shareholders are more important than the customer. And we see a lot of that. How do you blow that? How do you take that f--king jewel and ship it with dirt all over it?”

I like this guy. He should write the Weekly News Round-Up.


Guild Wars 2 Is Going To Be Prettier In The April Patch
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/guild-wars-2-features-getting-revamped-and-enhanced-in-april

Guild Wars 2 is going to have a patch, but it's mostly just to enhance the game, rather than add new story.


Peter Molyneux Is Still Jaw Jackin'... Verbally
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/molyneux-the-indie-golden-age-won-t-last/1100-6418524/
 
Peter Molyneux recently said to enjoy this whole indie game thing while it lasts because it goes in cycles. He cited the music business, saying punk is popular for five years, then we get everything being manufactured.

Peter, we've had the same mainstream crap in North America for like 15 years. Or more.



Stop The Presses - Facebook Buys The Oculus Rift
http://kotaku.com/facebook-buys-oculus-rift-for-2-billion-1551487939 


This will probably be the biggest news of the week. Facebook bought the Oculus Rift for 2 billion dollars.

Mark Suckerberg (Oh I'm so edgy) says:

"Now Facebook runs the entire world. We bought the Oculus Rift, we're about to buy North America, and the surely we will conquer everything. We're so popular that God constantly updates his status."

Or he actually said:
"Mobile is the platform of today, and now we're also getting ready for the platforms of tomorrow," Oculus has the chance to create the most social platform ever, and change the way we work, play and communicate."

I'm sure the gaming aspect of the Oculus Rift will not be tampered with, and I'm looking forward to being able to hang out with the people I don't want to talk to in real life in a virtual world.


Oculus Rift Will Eventually Be Redesigned With Facebook Logo And Inferface
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-rift-will-eventually-be-redesigned-with-facebook-branding-report/1100-6418548/

Geez. Facebook has to slap their logo on everything. Luckily this blog will never see that.

In related news, the Kickstarter backers of the Oculus Rift are pissed. I can't possibly understand why.

Update: Facebook says (because it's a physical person now) it won't redesign shit.


Palmer Luckey Shoots Off About The Oculus Rift And Facebook
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-rift-creator-we-promise-we-won-t-change-following-facebook-buyout/1100-6418562/

Palmer Luckey did what anybody would do when having to answer questions -- he went to Reddit. In the link above he talks about a bunch of different things concerning the acquisition of the Oculus Rift by the tyrant Facebook. But I'm not posting it here because that will take up a lot of space. What? You actually expected me to? What is this, Communism?

In short though: Things will get better, indie development will increase, it will be more open, they'll have more money for new hardware and better people, and you won't have to log-in to Facebook and see all the annoying posts everyone makes (including myself) in order to use the Rift.


The Deal Only Took 72 Hours! 
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/some-deals-take-months-but-facebook-completed-its-purchase-of-oculus-vr-in-72-hours/1100-6418566/

Facebook moves fast, and sure enough they moved fast again. It only took 72 hours to make the Oculus deal. That's pretty impressive.

In related news, Mark Zuckerberg is actually Sonic.


Michael Abrash Leaves Valve, Joins Oculus
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-vr-hires-another-valve-virtual-reality-veteran/1100-6418627/

Michael left Valve, and had this to say: "Facebook's acquisition of Oculus means that VR is going to happen in all its glory. The resources and long-term commitment that Facebook brings gives Oculus the runway it needs to solve the hard problems of VR--and some of them are hard indeed. I now fully expect to spend the rest of my career pushing VR as far ahead as I can."

My, what a brash man. Get it? GET IT? Please accept me.

Dat Facebook money.


Oh Yeah, This Is Happening -- Goat Simulator Dead Island Trailer


Do you remember the Dead Island trailer that was so emotional it made the entire universe cry? It was one of the best video game trailers of all time and it made Dead Island look like it was going to hit you right in the heart.

Well the creators of Goat Simulator paid homage/parodied it with this. You should have watched it before you read what I had to say about it, but if you haven't, clicky-clicky that video above because it is so worth it.


Bioshock: Infinite's Final DLC Hit This Week
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/say-goodbye-to-bioshock-infinite-as-its-final-dlc-is-out-today/1100-6418526/

Burial At Sea - Episode 2 hit the week, so if you're a fan of Bioshock: Infinite, make sure to pick up the DLC. And if you understand the ending of the original game, contact me and explain it to me. Thanks!


Microsoft Believes Now Is The Time For Something That Should Have Been There From The Original Plans
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-on-loaning-and-gifting-digital-xbox-one-games-we-totally-believe-in-that-future/1100-6418534/

If you're a gamer you probably remember Microsoft at E3. I shouldn't even have to tell you which one. They came out, said a bunch of things that annoyed everyone and now have reversed their policies. Well, now, they're fine with a loaning and gifting digital game service.


Did You Cheat In TITANFALL? Welcome To Alcatraz
http://www.destructoid.com/titanfall-cheaters-can-only-play-with-other-cheaters-now-272499.phtml

If you cheated in TITANFALL and got banned, you can still plan... but only with other cheaters.



TITANFALL New Modes Will Be Free... DLC Will Be 10 Bucks
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/new-titanfall-modes-won-t-be-locked-behind-a-paygate/1100-6418551/

You won't have to pay for the new modes in TITANFALL, but there is DLC in the works that you will have to pay for.


Sony Can't Keep Employees

The Driveclub director has left to be indie.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sony-s-ps4-racing-game-driveclub-loses-its-director/1100-6418552/

Don't you know it works in cycles! Molyneux said so! Get out of there Col Rodgers!

But Driveclub is still making good progress and a release date is coming soon.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-racing-game-driveclub-making-spectacular-progress-release-date-coming-soon/1100-6418567/

Seth Killian has also left the God Of War developer to do his own thing.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/yet-another-playstation-designer-leaves-sony/1100-6418554/

 I'm sure whatever he chooses to do, he's going to kill it. Get it?



Torchlight Co-Founders Peace Out And Start A New Studio
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/torchlight-co-founders-leave-runic-games-to-start-new-studio/1100-6418577/

Travis Baldree and Erich Schaefer left Runic Games and are now starting up their own studio named Double Damage Games. I for one trust any company named Double Damage.


You Want The Last Of Us On PS4? Nah. Well, Maybe
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/report-the-last-of-us-coming-to-ps4-as-physical-and-digital-release/1100-6418573/

A Sony representative from Turkey (yum) has said that the Ellen Page game The Last of Us may be coming to PS4. But nobody knows if it's true or not at this point, and since The Last of Us is going to be a Playstation Now (not now, but later) game... it seems a little wonky. 


Here We Go Again -- Video Games Make Kids Violent
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/study-violent-video-games-could-be-linked-to-aggressive-behavior/1100-6418556/


I had hoped that we were past this point, but I guess in my heart I knew that a new study would pop up eventually, just like a new villain will inevitably pop up in Gotham.

There's been a recent study that basically stated that kids who play a lot of video games are more violent than kids that don't. Of course, like any study, there was controversy and someone else basically said that it's a stupid study.

Well said.

But Hey, Gamers Aren't Loners Either
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/gamers-are-not-anti-social-basement-dwellers-study-finds/1100-6418624/

A new study has said that gamers aren't the anti-social dickholes that pop culture makes them out to be. In fact, according to this study, loners in the gaming community are the exception to the rule and not the norm. Gamers are actually incredibly social. Unless you're me... in which case you just sit at home by yourself, playing your MMORPGs with just your older brother because you don't want to deal with other people. But I'm not anti-social.


Notch Comes Through The Door Blastin' On Cliffy B
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-creator-responds-to-cliff-bleszinski-calling-him-a-pouty-kid/1100-6418609/

Cliffy B called Notch (the maker of Minecraft in case you've been living under a rock or you know, don't give a crap about Minecraft) a "pouty kid" when Notch announced that he was cancelling development for the Oculus Rift once it was acquired by Facebook.

Notch replied by saying, "I'm a man driven by principles, not capitalism, so I guess I'll just have to get used to the occasional name calling." Of course, this was all said on Twitter because real life what?



Am I the only one who finds a beef between two game developers funny? We're not exactly known for being tough guys... but hey, I don't have a study to back that up.

PS4 Getting Over 100 Games In 2014, There's A List Of Them In That Link Below
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-getting-over-100-games-in-2014-here-s-the-full-list/1100-6418569/

Do you want games? We all do! PS4 is supposedly going to have over 100 by the time 2014 ends. And I'm going to play every single one of them.

 

Microsoft Won't Allow PC And Xbox One Crass Platform Play... Well, Maybe A Little
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-won-t-allow-xbox-one-pc-cross-platform-play-says-war-thunder-dev/1100-6418587/ 

Microsoft said it won't completely allow cross platform play, however, they will work closely with developers when they have to or need it. But they actually will allow it sometimes, so god damn it, this isn't news at all.


But Microsoft Thinks That There Will Be "An Army Of Huge Franchises" Coming To E3

Phil Spencer says, "If you look at attach rate on the consoles right now, people investing in the great new AAA IP, it's great. I think at this year's E3 between us and EA and Activision, Sony, and Nintendo, you're going to see another army of huge franchises coming."


Well I hope so since E3 is the biggest gaming event of the year.
 

Microsoft Is Releasing Halo: Spartan Assault On Steam April 4th...
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-has-no-plans-to-release-more-halo-games-on-steam/1100-6418613/

...But doesn't have plans for any real Halo games to show up on Steam. So I guess, pick it up or whatever.


Phil Spencer Also Talks About Japan
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/console-gaming-not-dead-in-japan-microsoft-says/1100-6418629/

Oh hey, it's just Phil Spencer talking again. Soon I'm going to have to give him and Peter Molyneux their own "EA Corner" type thing. This time he said, "It's critical for us in the industry that we continue to invest [in Japan] and see great games come out," as he doesn't think that the gaming population has gone down in Japan.




Justin Richmond Says Bye To Naughty Dog, Joins Riot
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/uncharted-4-director-leaves-naughty-dog-for-riot/1100-6418600/

Justin Richmond, the Uncharted 4 director, has left Naughty Dog in order to join the company that we can blame for League of Legends. There are no hard feelings, and Uncharted 4 will not be impacted at all, except for the fact it now takes place in space and involves Nathan Drake mating with aliens. No major changes though.

And seriously, Riot? There's no money in League of Legends.

...


3D Realms Is Still Fighting Gearbox
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/the-gearbox-3d-realms-legal-battle-over-duke-nukem-is-heating-up/1100-6418586/

3D Realms says that they have the rights to make a new Duke Nukem game, and they also own the trademark still.

Well, that's settled.



Warface Beta Is Open Now For Xbox Live Gold Subscribers On the Xbox 360
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/crysis-developer-s-warface-hits-open-beta-on-xbox-360/1100-6418585/

If you want to torture yourself with a mediocre game, feel free to get in on the Warface beta if you're an owner of the Xbox 360. But I recommend not.


Devil's Third Has A New Logo
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ninja-gaiden-dev-s-action-game-devil-s-third-gets-a-new-logo-2014-reveal-teased/1100-6418583/

Tomonobu Itagaki's new action game has a new logo, and it's new, so check it out while it's new.

Third what?

Is The Newest Deus Ex Game Called Mankind Divided?
http://www.destructoid.com/square-enix-trademarks-deus-ex-mankind-divided-272600.phtml

According to this article it is. Apparently Square Enix trademarked "Deus Ex: Mankind Divided" in the UK so that could possibly be the title of the next Deus Ex.

They could call it Deus Ex: On The Gamely Sucks Hard and I wouldn't even care... I just want another Deus Ex. In fact, do that. Right now.


Wanna Be A Chef In A Post-Apocalyptic World? DayZ's Got You Covered
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/28/day-z-survival-update-adds-cooking-weapons

When "the moment [they] are confident [they] have a suitable build to release" a new update for DayZ will appear. This will include an improved AKM weapons model, new locations and... cooking! That's right, you can get your Master Chef on in this game whenever the update comes out, because really that's why we go to a game like DayZ to begin with.

"Boy, I hope they're making roast beef in there."
"Hey, got any roast beef in there?"

"Sir I don't see any roast beef anywhere."

I hope you enjoyed this edition of the Weekly News Round-Up. Hate me and my news? Tell me on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime.

Make sure to tune in again next Saturday, and every day because you never know when I'm going to post an article, and I'll leave you with one final Dean Ambrose gif:

Saturday, 15 February 2014

News Round-Up February 9 - 15: More News About Titanfall, Nintendo And GOAT SIMULATOR?

Written By: Tyler

Hey peeps, what's up? Hope your week is going okay, and now that it's Saturday you can read my long-ass News Round-Up... which is a weekly thing I do where I make fun of some of the more important news of the week. Read on.


Arkham Origins Is A Bug Collector
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/batman-arkham-origins-has-no-plans-to-fix-several-game-breaking-bugs/1100-6417619/


How do you piss off your fans? How do you piss off people that paid for your product? You do exactly what Warner Brothers Montreal did this week. You tell people that if you release a patch, you will address the progression glitches, but you will not fix the other bugs. Why not push DLC over a broken game? I mean, don't even promise people that you'll fix the major issues that literally corrupt save files. Great customer service.


Remember How The Creator Of Flappy Bird Took It Down?

Last week I reported (meaning I ripped the news off of other, more credible sites... and Twitter) that the creator of Flappy Bird issued a Refused style break-up message with Flappy Bird and took it down. Well don't worry, because there's more!

You can buy a phone with Flappy Bird on it if you don't already have it... for a tremendous amount of money. Or you could buy one of the many clones that have popped up.


No... this:

Jonathan Blow would love this.
Oh, people.


Steam Update Rolls In, Shows New Updates
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/10/steam-store-adds-a-recently-updated-section

Valve updated Steam this week and the new update is an easy way to tell what games have recently been given updates. Of course this will be a good way to go back to old games. Great, just what I need, more reasons to play more games.


Minecraft-Inspired Movie SHUT DOWN
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-inspired-movie-shut-down/1100-6417633/

The Minecraft movie that wasn't licensed by Notch that apparently didn't even have a deal in place was shut down. It's really not a surprise that Notch shut it down "Brendan Schaub vs Cyborg Abreu at Metamoris II" style considering the director of the movie doesn't own the IP.


Watch Dogs For The Wii U Delayed
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/10/watch-dogs-coming-to-wii-u-later-than-other-systems

Once upon a time there was this game called Watch Dogs that flew under the radar. When it came close to release date, it got delayed but very few people cared. Now it's scheduled for release in the Spring... except for Wii U. It's very rare that bad things happen to the Wii U so this isn't such a big deal.

...



World of Speed Is Coming And It's Going To Be Free
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/world-of-speed-a-racing-mmo-with-grand-ambitions/1100-6417561/

World of Speed is an ambitious free-to-play... oh wait, I have to listen to the internet grumble for a bit over "free-to-play."



Titanfall Will Not Allow You To Shoot Through Walls
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-dev-explains-why-you-can-t-shoot-through-walls/1100-6417629/

In a decidedly non-Next-Gen move, Respawn announced that you can not shoot through walls in the much hyped Titanfall. So of course, in the comments section the internet erupted and argued about why this does or doesn't make sense. Screw you Titanfall! It doesn't make sense to have Titans destroying everything! This is going to be shit like CoD! Battlefield 4 rulez! DUDE TITANFALL ISN'T OUT YET! I PEED MY PANTS!

It was an internet war unlike any other, and many lives were lost. They will be missed.


New Call of Duty Will Prioritize Next-Gen Consoles and PC
http://www.destructoid.com/this-year-s-call-of-duty-to-prioritize-pc-ps4-xbox-one-270313.phtml

Speaking of next-gen, do I have some news for you.

Instead of making something for current gen (last gen? What IS IT NOW?), Sledgehammer is going to develop for the brand spankin' new consoles and PC and then port to the old systems from there. What this means is that in the new CoD we will have two dogs on screen at a time during campaign and we will also see real fish AI like Super Mario 64 since we'll be able to handle it now.


Supposedly Dark Souls 2 Is Rated T
http://www.destructoid.com/dark-souls-ii-earns-a-t-rating-from-the-esrb-270295.phtml

Unless T stands for TerriblyFrustrating, I don't see how this can be true. Due to the extremely dark and maddening aspects of the game, I would rate it CB for Chris Benoit... because it's so difficult you'll kill yourself and your family.

Too soon.

Remember That Flappy Bird Game I Talked About... Above?
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/11/flappy-bird-creator-explains-why-he-pulled-the-game

Basically, people are assholes and addicts and he didn't want to be a part. Well played dude, even if the game sucks.


Murasaki Baby -- The Trailer Is Weird, But... Strangely Alluring (Like Your Mom)
http://ca.ign.com/videos/2014/02/11/murasaki-baby-vitas-weirdest-game

If you'd ignore the fact that I made a "your mom" joke for a second and go to that link and watch the trailer for this new promising Vita game, you'll understand what I mean when I post this:



Goat Simulator
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/goat-simulator-is-a-real-game-that-s-really-happening/1100-6417672/


It's not very often that a random game shoots up my "Most Anticipated Games" list, but this one did. I'm not even joking. There is no joke here. I don't have to make one because the video will make you laugh.


Sons of Anarchy Game Is Still In Production
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sons-of-anarchy-game-back-on-will-be-f-ing-awesome/1100-6417670/

Kurt Sutter, the creator of SoA, says that the game is in production and it's going to be "fucking awesome." Straight to the point, I like it.

In all seriousness I might play the game if Rockstar makes it -- even though the idea of an SoA game doesn't overly appeal to me (despite being a huge fan of the show) -- because they made The Warriors and that was fantastic. They also made uh, Grand Train Audio or whatever, so it might be okay.


PS4 100+ games
Microsoft 25 bucks for usage of head phones


But Enough About That Shit, Let's Hear What EA Has To Say


In the first ever EA Corner, we got the stuff that EA says, except for the things they say in private to their wives and husbands because that's probably creepy. Whenever EA says something I will be here to make the same jokes about it that I do every week. Without EA I wouldn't even have a weekly news round-up.

It's important to note that it's what EA says, not Respawn (hence Titanfall news being above). I don't want to confuse all three of my readers, you know. Let's get on it.


EA CFO (Certified Fork Operator) Blake Jorgensen stated that Titanfall is going to be a series that is around for a long, long time. Yeah, well at least a year because that's how long it's going to take to hammer out the bugs to make it work because you force it out early. Ba dum tsss.

EA CFO (Cranky Fish Omnipotent) Blake Jorgensen said that mobile games won't kill consoles. That's right, because EA will. Zing!

EA chief creative officer Rich Hilleman... wait where's Blake? Dammit, I had something going there. Anyway, Rich Hillerman went all Tower Defense and defended the crappy launch of Battlefield 4 basically stating that he won't accept that people think it's a bad product and doesn't think customers will say that anyway. He also said that they will learn from their past mistakes. Just like with Sim City. OH SNAP!

Well that concludes The EA Corner for now. Let's move onto other news.


Like The Nintendo Direct That Was Held This Week


Every Nintendo fan gets excited for Nintendo Direct. I'm no different. We shouldn't have gotten our hopes up too much because Nintendo said it was focused on games releasing this Spring (despite a couple games being shown that have later release dates).

But there's always that hope that BANG, NEW ZELDA! Or Metroid. Or Star Fox. Or Earthbound. Whatever. We didn't get it, spoiler tags.

We now know that Little Mac is in Smash Bros, which is awesome. We finally saw a little more of THE GREATEST RPG EVER -- X. We saw some more Bayonetta 2, Mario Kart, Donkey Kong, Yoshi's New Island, etc.

We saw some games that are coming for the eShop, and admittedly some of them look cool.

We saw the tears of all Nintendo fanboys.

We saw more about games we already know about. It was about par for the course with Nintendo Direct, and yet I keep getting hyped. I was going to make a hype train picture but it turns out there's already a bunch of them. Well played, Internet.


Steam Going To Have Tags
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/12/valve-introduces-user-generated-steam-tags


Now you can categorize stuff! Yay! FINALLY!

...

In all seriousness I like how the article makes sure to mention that swear words will be censored. Dang.


Farting Will Feel Authentic in the South Park RPG
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/south-park-rpg-will-make-farting-feel-authentic/1100-6417695/

In what is surely the most important news of the week, Trey Parker said that the farting will feel authentic, and I quote, "It was really important that you didn't just press a button to fart. You need to feel it go out of your asshole."

I agree! 100%. This is wonderful news, and it's nice that we're finally getting realism in our games. I think this game was meant for the Oculus Rift... if it was... on your... ass.


Square Enix Says FFXV Is Far Into Development
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/final-fantasy-15-quite-far-into-development

In some reassuring news, especially considering the news before that they weren't sure when the game would be released, Square Enix says that FFXV -- the latest entry in the most final series of all time -- is far into development.

I also learned that there are direct sequels coming. Do you remember the days when Final Fantasy games would just be standalones? Because Square doesn't.

Now, just get The World Ends With You 2 underway and we'll be good.


Hideo Kojima Loves the PS4 The Mostest Forever <3
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/hideo-kojima-praises-the-power-of-the-ps4






The article states, however, that the Xbone hasn't been released in Japan yet so Kojima may not have included it in his statement.


Xbox One Patch To Fix The Controller Input
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/xbox-one-patch-to-fix-controller-input-for-titanfall

Titanfall apparently runs roughshod over everything, but it's good because now the Xbox One update that is coming later this month will fix the controller input because now it's "overly twitchy."








CandySwipe Developer Published An Open Letter to King
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/12/candyswipe-dev-publishes-open-letter-to-candy-crush-publisher

As the title states, Albert Ransom -- who developed CandySwipe -- published an open letter on King.com which basically states that King are assholes and that they win, just in nicer terms.

If you aren't aware of King, they tried to mess things up for The Banner Saga too because Saga is in the title so they don't want the Viking epic to be confused with Candy Crush Saga.

Meanwhile, in a dark alley way, King are hanging out with EA. True story.


The Evil Within Gets A Release Date
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/14/the-evil-within-release-date-announced

The Evil Within, the documentary about this blog, gets a release date... and it's right now. Nah it's August 26. Prepare to piss yourself at the end of summer.


Xbox Live Gold Is Free Right Now
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-live-gold-free-for-all-this-weekend-on-xbox-360/1100-6417715/

If you're one of the few people who don't have Xbox Live Gold, then it's actually free this weekend. I don't have any jokes here, I've just realized that I don't often put positive Microsoft news. #microsoftsux


Bungie Reveals One Of The Mounts In Destiny
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/02/13/destiny-bungie-unveils-the-shrike-vehicle

PETA be damned.


The mount is called the Shrike.


Why Not Release a Hitman Game That Isn't Like Other Hitman Games?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/hitman-getting-a-turn-based-strategy-game-for-real/1100-6417725/

Square Enix Montreal apparently agrees with that sentiment because they are developing a Hitman game for tablets and mobile that is a turn-based strategy game.

I'm just going to go ahead and ignore every Hitman game from now on until they literally come out and say, "Hey. We are done experimenting with a franchise that shouldn't be experimented with, we've decided Absolution pissed on everything and we're going back to what made the games so good from the beginning to Blood Money."

What is the over-under on that happening?


In Much Better News, The Arma 3 DLC Is Kind Of Like Dungeons and Dragons
http://www.destructoid.com/arma-3-s-zeus-dlc-introduces-a-new-role-game-master-270495.phtml

Oh shit.
The Zeus Game Master DLC will allow players to basically be Dungeon Masters and control objectives, spawn units, etc. I don't know how this is going to work in a game like Arma, but that's a damn cool idea and Square Enix Montreal should listen to the developers of this.


Gearbox Not Working On Borderlands 3 Now, I Repeat, Gearbox NOT Working On Borderlands 3 Now


I don't even know what to do. I don't know where to go, who to talk to. I don't know who to blame. I am so lost.


Oh you bet your ass I can. And I do.


Halo 5 Coming To Xbox In 2015... Maybe?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/halo-5-coming-to-xbox-in-2015-according-to-master-chief-voice-actor-update/1100-6417742/

Nobody really knows except for the developers. But we like to just latch onto stuff one individual says. That's what we do.


DayZ May Come To PS4 and Xbone
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-and-ps4-could-get-open-world-zombie-game-dayz/1100-6417765/

This is great news to anybody who doesn't have a PC that can run DayZ. Mind you, it'll probably be better on PC but it's nice when more people are able to get killed by other, better geared players and rage quit. Console gamers should be thankful for this potential awesomeness.


Video Games May Help With Dyslexia
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/video-games-are-good-for-you-may-help-manage-dyslexia/1100-6417764/

May also help you with boredom.

It's always nice when articles like this come out because there are always going to be critics of video games who still see them as useless and a waste of time. Now however, instead of just praising this discovery and using it to better our lives, we can slap it in the face of hatas.

VIDEO GAMED.

And so there you have it -- some of the most important news of the week. Make sure to tune in next week when I make fun of more news and quietly lament Ellen Page being gay because now there's even less chance than there was before.