Weekly News Round-Up, March 23 - 29: Facebook Buys Oculus Rift! Oh The Horror!

Written By: Tyler

We have seen a lot happen this week. EA happened some more, Minecraft did stuff, and games were played. I know you're busy because you have a life, so I have taken it upon myself to update you with all the most -- or at least some of it -- interesting video game news of the past week.

This week I've decided to make it a Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley theme, because that guy is weird and I love him. His facial expressions and reactions are great for everything.

Let's Start This Week Off Right -- EA CEO Talks Getting Things "A Little Bit" Wrong
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-ceo-when-we-get-it-a-little-bit-wrong-we-do-our-best-to-fix-it/1100-6418484/

I'll start this bad boy off with a direct quote that's in that link above:

“For whatever reason, whether it was because they were pushing the boundaries of innovation and they pushed a little hard and things didn't go so well," Wilson told Fortune, referring the SimCity offline debacle, endless Battlefield 4 issues, and problems with NBA Live 14. "We won't always get everything right, but my hope is that we're seen as a company that tries to do amazing things. When we get it a little bit wrong, we do our best to fix it."

The internet does not like you, EA.
EA Voted Worst Company In America AGAIN


Speaking Of EA Being A Crappy Company -- They Won't Win "Worst Company In America" A Third Time
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-won-t-be-named-worst-company-in-america-this-year/1100-6418513/

Time Warner Cable narrowly edged out EA so EA won't be able to complete the hat trick.

Denied!

 I haven't trusted Time Warner since they sold World Championship Wrestling anyway.


EA Delays Battlefield 4 DLC Until Whenever Because Of A "Hiccup"
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/battlefield-4-naval-strike-dlc-hiccup-causes-pc-delay/1100-6418518/

Battlefield 4: Naval Strike won't not be released for a bit as they hammer out a problem with the PC version. It still has shown up on consoles, but you're trying to tell me that the PC version of Battlefield 4 has problems?

At this point I'm so glad that the computer I was using before my new one couldn't run Battlefield 4.


EA Planning To Make The Star Wars Games Like The Batman: Arkham Games
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/ea-plans-to-model-star-wars-games-on-batman-arkham-series

EA is taking influence from the Batman: Arkham series in the sense that the Star Wars games aren't going to be tied to any existing Star Wars movies. Taking ideas from other companies concerning their own games? I thought they were too busy innovating.


Origin Isn't Going To Sell Physical Copy Of Games Starting April 4
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-s-origin-service-will-stop-selling-disc-based-games-next-week/1100-6418630/

That's right! Nobody likes Origin but here's a story for you all. It will be a digital-only service come April 4th.


But Wait, You Can Get Dead Space For Free On Origin Now
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/dead-space-free-on-origin-as-the-first-title-in-ea-s-on-the-house-promotion/1100-6418601/

You can now get Dead Space for free on Origin as part of their "On The House" program. Why is EA doing this? Because they feel bad for screwing with gamers all these years Because they are gamers too, stating, "We appreciate you making Origin your gaming home...and besides, who doesn't like free stuff?"

No I'm not making fun of homeless people.

Saint's Row Developer Was Making A Post-Apocalyptic Western Open-World Game
http://www.destructoid.com/volition-was-making-a-post-apocalyptic-western-272402.phtml

And now they aren't because it would have taken too long. Dammit! I feel screwed.


Escape Goat 2 Has Arrived... But Check Out This Awesome Trailer
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/double-fine-introduces-escape-goat-2-with-second-funniest-trailer-of-the-year-so-far/1100-6418515/

In the link above there is a trailer to the new game Escape Goat 2, which you can now buy. Admittedly, the trailer doesn't show a lot of gameplay (but there are other trailers available) and is entertaining because it's just funny.

Escape Goat 2 comes out this year, and then there is Goat Simulator. Could it be that including goats in games is the new trend and making open-world games is out? Only time will tell.

Pick up Escape Goat 2 NOW! I made it! No I didn't...


Marc Whitten May Be Leaving Microsoft, But He Praises The Xbox One Future
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/marc-whitten-promises-xbox-one-is-just-beginning

Even though he's peacing out of Microsoft, he has said that Microsoft is on their way to reaching what they want the Xbox One to be.

Yeah.

The New Mario Kart Still Has The Same Release Date, Even Though There Was Some Confusion
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/nintendo-refutes-mario-kart-8as-early-release-date

Nintendo cleared that stuff up like it was acne. The game is still coming out May 30, not a couple weeks before.


Here's When You Can Start Ignoring Your Family
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/elder-scrolls-online-announces-exact-launch-times/1100-6418485/

You want to know when Elder Scrolls Online officially launches? So does everyone else. Here are the times for the launch:

• North America (East): 7:00 PM EDT, Thursday, April 3
• UK/IE: 12:00 AM WEST, Thursday, April 4
• Central Europe: 1:00 AM CEST, Thursday, April 4
• Sydney, Australia: 10:00 AM AEDT, Thursday, April 4
• Singapore: 7:00 AM SGT, Thursday, April 4

Also in that link are the times for the three day early access and five day early access. Somewhere also in that link is a link that takes you to a page made by the uncle of your best friend's mother that tells you the secret of the Universe.


Minecraft On The PS3 And 360 Get A Big Update 
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-ps3-xbox-360-versions-getting-major-update/1100-6418483/

Not sick of playing Minecraft on last-gen consoles? Well, they got your back. A big update is rolling out that offers new terrain generation options, new potions, blocks, and even a carrot on a stick special item that allows you to ride pigs.

Yes, this is happening. By the way, that's a carrot on a stick in case you can't tell.

TITANFALL Gets A Balancing Update
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-update-fixes-bugs-adjusts-balancing-makes-the-smart-pistol-less-lethal/1100-6418482/

In the link above (god I love just being able to link things... it makes my work so much easier) there is a huge list of the balancing updates that have hit indie game TITANFALL. Most noticeably, the Smart Pistol has been nerfed which makes me go:

Luftrausers Took 2 And A Half Years To Develop, Already Makes A Profit
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/indie-game-luftrausers-took-2-5-years-to-make-becomes-profitable-in-72-hours/1100-6418508/

Luftrausers only took 72 hours to make a profit, which is great news for the indie developers. Take that Minecraft, you gigantic money making bastard!


Nintendo And Sony Not Going To PAX East
http://www.destructoid.com/microsoft-will-be-at-pax-east-sony-and-nintendo-won-t-272409.phtml

Don't worry, Microsoft will be at PAX East, but Nintendo and Sony won't. In the link above there is a list of the people/companies/groups that will be attending. Some other companies that won't be showing up are "Nintendo, Sony, EA Games, Capcom, Sega, Warner Bros Interactive, Twisted Pixel and Deep Silver." (I'm a real journalist and I stole that from Destructoid so I quote it... how professional)

Those are some big names not showing up. I'm too much of a wrestling fan to not be skeptical though, and I think this is a work. I think they're just plotting something behind the scenes and what we're seeing is the 2014 game version of the:

Or if you wanna be more topical and not stuck in the 90s... the companies are working a CM Punk angle.

Don't worry, they'll be there. They're going to invade PAX East brothers.


Sony Gets Rid Of "Numerous" Employees In Guerilla Cambridge, SCE London And Evolution
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/sony-layoffs-hit-evolution-guerilla-and-sce-london

I never make fun of layoffs in the Weekly News Round-Up because this is always sad to hear.


Microsoft Is Implementing The Major League Gaming App For The Xbox 360
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/mlg-app-comes-to-xbox-360-lets-you-watch-live-broadcasts/1100-6418498/

If you have Xbox Live Gold, then you'll also be able to watch Major League Gaming on your 360. Major League Gaming isn't to be confused with Major League Baseball -- if you're like me and you originally just skimmed through the article and thought it said MLB -- because I wouldn't want anybody to confuse a fake sport with a real sport.

Just kidding eSports, you know I love you.


Don't Expect Toki Tori 3
http://www.destructoid.com/don-t-expect-toki-tori-3-anytime-soon-272419.phtml

Apparently there isn't an audience for it, so fans of the series shouldn't expect a third entry any time soon. Don't worry I won't!

Toki Tori is actually a series I've meant to play but haven't yet. So it's my fault guys, sorry.


Remember The Ouya?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/all-of-ouya-s-games-have-free-trials-but-that-s-going-to-change/1100-6418500/

Yeah, me neither.

The Ouya is going to have slightly different policies. From what I can understand, originally developers had to create a demo for the console which cut into actually making the game. But now, instead of forcing developers to do that, they can now choose to have a free-to-try or paid model. So now, Ouya is getting rid of demos and implementing a system where Ouya will have demos.


Ubisoft Vice President Of Creative Lionel Raynaud Makes A Statement... Gets Bluff Called
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/virtual-reality-devices-need-to-sell-1-million-units-before-ubisoft-gets-interested-update/1100-6418392/

Lionel Raynaud is excited about Virtual Reality systems like Project Morpheus, Oculus Rift or actually going outside and experiencing life... but said that they would need major numbers sold in order for Ubisoft to use the new technology. He said VR would need to sell a million units.

Then, someone else from Ubisoft came out and was basically like, "nah, 1 million isn't actually what it would take dudez." That's a direct quote, obviously.


Blizzard Says Diablo 3 Is In Development For Xbox One
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/diablo-3-in-development-for-xbox-one-but-blizzard-not-sure-if-it-will-ever-launch/1100-6418494/

...but says they don't know if it'll be released, due to contracts and whatnot.

So they're developing a game that they know may not be released?

In unrelated news, I traveled to the future and in a year Blizzard lays off employees.


Rich And Don't Know What To Do With Yourself?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/white-xbox-ones-appear-on-ebay-can-be-yours-for-1500-and-up/1100-6418493/

The way I see it is that if you're rich you have two options.  You can either send me money or you can buy this white Xbox One for $1500 and up.

Super Mario Bros. 3 Hits The Wii U And 3DS Virtual Console April 17th
http://www.destructoid.com/super-mario-bros-3-is-finally-hitting-the-virtual-console-on-april-17th-272465.phtml

In a shocking turn of events, Nintendo is finally putting a Mario game on one of their systems!

If you want to play arguably the greatest Mario of all time, make sure to pick it up. There are other games coming soon too like Metroid Fusion, Golden Sun and more.


Ubisoft Going Hard On PAX East
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/ubisoft-to-demo-watch-dogs-trials-fusion-and-more-at-pax-east

Ubisoft is going to demo Trials Fusion, Child of Light, Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Phantoms, and The Mighty Quest For Epic Loot... along with Watch Dogs. Sounds great, but who's going to watch, uh, play, play the... Watch the Watch Dogs? I give up. This was messed from the beginning. I'm sorry.


Lorne Lanning Has Anger Issues
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/oddworld-creator-lashes-ea-talks-abeas-oddysee-remake 

Lorne Lanning in his Black Metal band.

The Oddworld creator had a little bit to say about EA and Oddworld:

On Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty

“We still see press calling it an HD remake, and it’s not a f--king HD remake."

On EA
“F--k that business. I don’t want to play with that business, because it was a losing business. I just don’t want to go back and play the old [publisher] game. I’d rather not make games than go f--king be a slave for public companies who care more about their shareholders than they do about their customers."

“Why did Battlefield 4 ship? You know that team was crying. You know that team knew that game wasn’t ready to go. You know that team f--king spent a lot of sleepless nights building that s--t out to look as good and play as good, when it was able to be experienced, being played as they were intending it to be played. Someone made a decision that the shareholders are more important than the customer. And we see a lot of that. How do you blow that? How do you take that f--king jewel and ship it with dirt all over it?”

I like this guy. He should write the Weekly News Round-Up.


Guild Wars 2 Is Going To Be Prettier In The April Patch
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/guild-wars-2-features-getting-revamped-and-enhanced-in-april

Guild Wars 2 is going to have a patch, but it's mostly just to enhance the game, rather than add new story.


Peter Molyneux Is Still Jaw Jackin'... Verbally
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/molyneux-the-indie-golden-age-won-t-last/1100-6418524/
 
Peter Molyneux recently said to enjoy this whole indie game thing while it lasts because it goes in cycles. He cited the music business, saying punk is popular for five years, then we get everything being manufactured.

Peter, we've had the same mainstream crap in North America for like 15 years. Or more.



Stop The Presses - Facebook Buys The Oculus Rift
http://kotaku.com/facebook-buys-oculus-rift-for-2-billion-1551487939 

This will probably be the biggest news of the week. Facebook bought the Oculus Rift for 2 billion dollars.

Mark Suckerberg (Oh I'm so edgy) says:

"Now Facebook runs the entire world. We bought the Oculus Rift, we're about to buy North America, and the surely we will conquer everything. We're so popular that God constantly updates his status."

Or he actually said:
"Mobile is the platform of today, and now we're also getting ready for the platforms of tomorrow," Oculus has the chance to create the most social platform ever, and change the way we work, play and communicate."

I'm sure the gaming aspect of the Oculus Rift will not be tampered with, and I'm looking forward to being able to hang out with the people I don't want to talk to in real life in a virtual world.


Oculus Rift Will Eventually Be Redesigned With Facebook Logo And Inferface
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-rift-will-eventually-be-redesigned-with-facebook-branding-report/1100-6418548/

Geez. Facebook has to slap their logo on everything. Luckily this blog will never see that.

In related news, the Kickstarter backers of the Oculus Rift are pissed. I can't possibly understand why.

Update: Facebook says (because it's a physical person now) it won't redesign shit.


Palmer Luckey Shoots Off About The Oculus Rift And Facebook
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-rift-creator-we-promise-we-won-t-change-following-facebook-buyout/1100-6418562/

Palmer Luckey did what anybody would do when having to answer questions -- he went to Reddit. In the link above he talks about a bunch of different things concerning the acquisition of the Oculus Rift by the tyrant Facebook. But I'm not posting it here because that will take up a lot of space. What? You actually expected me to? What is this, Communism?

In short though: Things will get better, indie development will increase, it will be more open, they'll have more money for new hardware and better people, and you won't have to log-in to Facebook and see all the annoying posts everyone makes (including myself) in order to use the Rift.


The Deal Only Took 72 Hours! 
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/some-deals-take-months-but-facebook-completed-its-purchase-of-oculus-vr-in-72-hours/1100-6418566/

Facebook moves fast, and sure enough they moved fast again. It only took 72 hours to make the Oculus deal. That's pretty impressive.

In related news, Mark Zuckerberg is actually Sonic.

Michael Abrash Leaves Valve, Joins Oculus
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-vr-hires-another-valve-virtual-reality-veteran/1100-6418627/

Michael left Valve, and had this to say: "Facebook's acquisition of Oculus means that VR is going to happen in all its glory. The resources and long-term commitment that Facebook brings gives Oculus the runway it needs to solve the hard problems of VR--and some of them are hard indeed. I now fully expect to spend the rest of my career pushing VR as far ahead as I can."

My, what a brash man. Get it? GET IT? Please accept me.

Dat Facebook money.

Oh Yeah, This Is Happening -- Goat Simulator Dead Island Trailer


Do you remember the Dead Island trailer that was so emotional it made the entire universe cry? It was one of the best video game trailers of all time and it made Dead Island look like it was going to hit you right in the heart.

Well the creators of Goat Simulator paid homage/parodied it with this. You should have watched it before you read what I had to say about it, but if you haven't, clicky-clicky that video above because it is so worth it.


Bioshock: Infinite's Final DLC Hit This Week
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/say-goodbye-to-bioshock-infinite-as-its-final-dlc-is-out-today/1100-6418526/

Burial At Sea - Episode 2 hit the week, so if you're a fan of Bioshock: Infinite, make sure to pick up the DLC. And if you understand the ending of the original game, contact me and explain it to me. Thanks!


Microsoft Believes Now Is The Time For Something That Should Have Been There From The Original Plans
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-on-loaning-and-gifting-digital-xbox-one-games-we-totally-believe-in-that-future/1100-6418534/

If you're a gamer you probably remember Microsoft at E3. I shouldn't even have to tell you which one. They came out, said a bunch of things that annoyed everyone and now have reversed their policies. Well, now, they're fine with a loaning and gifting digital game service.


Did You Cheat In TITANFALL? Welcome To Alcatraz
http://www.destructoid.com/titanfall-cheaters-can-only-play-with-other-cheaters-now-272499.phtml

If you cheated in TITANFALL and got banned, you can still plan... but only with other cheaters.

TITANFALL New Modes Will Be Free... DLC Will Be 10 Bucks
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/new-titanfall-modes-won-t-be-locked-behind-a-paygate/1100-6418551/

You won't have to pay for the new modes in TITANFALL, but there is DLC in the works that you will have to pay for.


Sony Can't Keep Employees

The Driveclub director has left to be indie.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sony-s-ps4-racing-game-driveclub-loses-its-director/1100-6418552/

Don't you know it works in cycles! Molyneux said so! Get out of there Col Rodgers!

But Driveclub is still making good progress and a release date is coming soon.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-racing-game-driveclub-making-spectacular-progress-release-date-coming-soon/1100-6418567/

Seth Killian has also left the God Of War developer to do his own thing.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/yet-another-playstation-designer-leaves-sony/1100-6418554/

 I'm sure whatever he chooses to do, he's going to kill it. Get it?

Torchlight Co-Founders Peace Out And Start A New Studio
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/torchlight-co-founders-leave-runic-games-to-start-new-studio/1100-6418577/

Travis Baldree and Erich Schaefer left Runic Games and are now starting up their own studio named Double Damage Games. I for one trust any company named Double Damage.


You Want The Last Of Us On PS4? Nah. Well, Maybe
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/report-the-last-of-us-coming-to-ps4-as-physical-and-digital-release/1100-6418573/

A Sony representative from Turkey (yum) has said that the Ellen Page game The Last of Us may be coming to PS4. But nobody knows if it's true or not at this point, and since The Last of Us is going to be a Playstation Now (not now, but later) game... it seems a little wonky. 


Here We Go Again -- Video Games Make Kids Violent
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/study-violent-video-games-could-be-linked-to-aggressive-behavior/1100-6418556/

I had hoped that we were past this point, but I guess in my heart I knew that a new study would pop up eventually, just like a new villain will inevitably pop up in Gotham.

There's been a recent study that basically stated that kids who play a lot of video games are more violent than kids that don't. Of course, like any study, there was controversy and someone else basically said that it's a stupid study.

Well said.

But Hey, Gamers Aren't Loners Either
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/gamers-are-not-anti-social-basement-dwellers-study-finds/1100-6418624/

A new study has said that gamers aren't the anti-social dickholes that pop culture makes them out to be. In fact, according to this study, loners in the gaming community are the exception to the rule and not the norm. Gamers are actually incredibly social. Unless you're me... in which case you just sit at home by yourself, playing your MMORPGs with just your older brother because you don't want to deal with other people. But I'm not anti-social.


Notch Comes Through The Door Blastin' On Cliffy B
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-creator-responds-to-cliff-bleszinski-calling-him-a-pouty-kid/1100-6418609/

Cliffy B called Notch (the maker of Minecraft in case you've been living under a rock or you know, don't give a crap about Minecraft) a "pouty kid" when Notch announced that he was cancelling development for the Oculus Rift once it was acquired by Facebook.

Notch replied by saying, "I'm a man driven by principles, not capitalism, so I guess I'll just have to get used to the occasional name calling." Of course, this was all said on Twitter because real life what?

Am I the only one who finds a beef between two game developers funny? We're not exactly known for being tough guys... but hey, I don't have a study to back that up.

PS4 Getting Over 100 Games In 2014, There's A List Of Them In That Link Below
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-getting-over-100-games-in-2014-here-s-the-full-list/1100-6418569/

Do you want games? We all do! PS4 is supposedly going to have over 100 by the time 2014 ends. And I'm going to play every single one of them.

 

Microsoft Won't Allow PC And Xbox One Crass Platform Play... Well, Maybe A Little
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-won-t-allow-xbox-one-pc-cross-platform-play-says-war-thunder-dev/1100-6418587/ 

Microsoft said it won't completely allow cross platform play, however, they will work closely with developers when they have to or need it. But they actually will allow it sometimes, so god damn it, this isn't news at all.


But Microsoft Thinks That There Will Be "An Army Of Huge Franchises" Coming To E3

Phil Spencer says, "If you look at attach rate on the consoles right now, people investing in the great new AAA IP, it's great. I think at this year's E3 between us and EA and Activision, Sony, and Nintendo, you're going to see another army of huge franchises coming."

Well I hope so since E3 is the biggest gaming event of the year.
 

Microsoft Is Releasing Halo: Spartan Assault On Steam April 4th...
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-has-no-plans-to-release-more-halo-games-on-steam/1100-6418613/

...But doesn't have plans for any real Halo games to show up on Steam. So I guess, pick it up or whatever.


Phil Spencer Also Talks About Japan
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/console-gaming-not-dead-in-japan-microsoft-says/1100-6418629/

Oh hey, it's just Phil Spencer talking again. Soon I'm going to have to give him and Peter Molyneux their own "EA Corner" type thing. This time he said, "It's critical for us in the industry that we continue to invest [in Japan] and see great games come out," as he doesn't think that the gaming population has gone down in Japan.




Justin Richmond Says Bye To Naughty Dog, Joins Riot
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/uncharted-4-director-leaves-naughty-dog-for-riot/1100-6418600/

Justin Richmond, the Uncharted 4 director, has left Naughty Dog in order to join the company that we can blame for League of Legends. There are no hard feelings, and Uncharted 4 will not be impacted at all, except for the fact it now takes place in space and involves Nathan Drake mating with aliens. No major changes though.

And seriously, Riot? There's no money in League of Legends.

...


3D Realms Is Still Fighting Gearbox
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/the-gearbox-3d-realms-legal-battle-over-duke-nukem-is-heating-up/1100-6418586/

3D Realms says that they have the rights to make a new Duke Nukem game, and they also own the trademark still.

Well, that's settled.

Warface Beta Is Open Now For Xbox Live Gold Subscribers On the Xbox 360
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/crysis-developer-s-warface-hits-open-beta-on-xbox-360/1100-6418585/

If you want to torture yourself with a mediocre game, feel free to get in on the Warface beta if you're an owner of the Xbox 360. But I recommend not.


Devil's Third Has A New Logo
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ninja-gaiden-dev-s-action-game-devil-s-third-gets-a-new-logo-2014-reveal-teased/1100-6418583/

Tomonobu Itagaki's new action game has a new logo, and it's new, so check it out while it's new.

Third what?

Is The Newest Deus Ex Game Called Mankind Divided?
http://www.destructoid.com/square-enix-trademarks-deus-ex-mankind-divided-272600.phtml

According to this article it is. Apparently Square Enix trademarked "Deus Ex: Mankind Divided" in the UK so that could possibly be the title of the next Deus Ex.

They could call it Deus Ex: On The Gamely Sucks Hard and I wouldn't even care... I just want another Deus Ex. In fact, do that. Right now.


Wanna Be A Chef In A Post-Apocalyptic World? DayZ's Got You Covered
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/28/day-z-survival-update-adds-cooking-weapons

When "the moment [they] are confident [they] have a suitable build to release" a new update for DayZ will appear. This will include an improved AKM weapons model, new locations and... cooking! That's right, you can get your Master Chef on in this game whenever the update comes out, because really that's why we go to a game like DayZ to begin with.

"Boy, I hope they're making roast beef in there."

"Hey, got any roast beef in there?"

"Sir I don't see any roast beef anywhere."

I hope you enjoyed this edition of the Weekly News Round-Up. Hate me and my news? Tell me on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime.

Make sure to tune in again next Saturday, and every day because you never know when I'm going to post an article, and I'll leave you with one final Dean Ambrose gif:

On The Podcast Episode 7 - Zombies! And Oh Yeah, Games Too

Jacob and Tyler are back... and they're talking about stuff because that's apparently what you do on a Podcast. They talk shop about a bunch of games that have come out like Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls, Infamous: Second Son, Cloudbuilt, but also older games like Minecraft and Halo: Reach. They talk a little bit about TV shows like Brooklyn Nine Nine and The Walking Dead, while also talking about how overdone zombies are (but we still like 'em). Plus, much much more!

Follow Tyler on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime

Gabe made the theme song and you can check him out at www.soundcloud.com/gabriel-vinylz, www.facebook.com/thedungeonstudio or on Twitter @DungeonStudioNY

Listen On Youtube: http://youtu.be/sn_5NMbYxwk

Listen Here: Download MP3: https://archive.org/details/onthepodcast7

Weekly News Round-Up, March 2 - 8: Twas The Week Before TITANFALL... Plus Other Things Happen In the Gaming World

Written By: Tyler

Twas the week before TITANFALL... which means that after next week I'll have significantly less news to report on! Or maybe I'm tired of talking about TITANFALL and just want it to come. Regardless, here is some of the news of the past week that interests me enough to make fun of it.


Speaking Of Which, Here's Some More TITANFALL Crap
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/leaked-titanfall-screenshots-show-ziplines-and-heavy-turrets-in-multiplayer-report/1100-6418054/

The internet did what the internet does and it leaked some screenshots of the wildly popular and hyped FPS. The screens allegedly show things like monsters, the Generations feature, and most amazingly ziplines so people can travel across the map on them. But don't they have jetpacks or something?

Season Pass For TITANFALL Is 25 Buckaroos
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-season-pass-is-25-contains-3-packs/1100-6418133/

Give TITANFALL your money.

Before We Go Any Further, Let's Talk South Park

The South Park RPG has been delayed too long, and all I can say is that it was finally released this week so while you can expect a review for it at some point on here, just go pick it up. Now. Stop reading this garbage and go do something useful with your life.


Mass Effect Trilogy May Show Up On PS4 and Xbone
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-and-ps4-versions-of-mass-effect-trilogy-discussed-at-bioware/1100-6418055/

Like the title says, it's very possible that Mass Effect is going to show up on the next-gen consoles, which is great except for the fact that unless they release ME3 with the modified ending we're going to have to listen to the internet bitch about the ending all over again.

Why Does Nintendo Want To Improve Your Quality Of Life?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/nintendo-explains-why-it-wants-to-improve-your-quality-of-life/1100-6418059/

Because they're nice people. They believe in individuality and giving products that people of all ages can enjoy. Novel concept.

Plus, if people die then Nintendo won't make any money, because Lord (Vader) knows that the Wii U isn't doing it for them.

They also said that video game hardware is still their core focus. Cue Nintendo-hater complaing in 3, 2, 1...


Oculus Rift Is Not Going To Be A "Rich Person's Toy"(Damn You IGN For Stealing My Headline!)
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-rift-will-be-affordable-says-creator/1100-6418068/

No, because society is a rich person's toy. Oh snap!

They're looking at a $300 dollar price tag for the thing, and that seems reasonable. Especially when you run a successful video game blog.


Fez Is Coming To PS4, Will Run At 1080p And 60fps
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/indie-hit-fez-comes-to-ps4-march-25-runs-in-1080p-60fps/1100-6418067/

And not a moment to soon because if Fish doesn't make more money he may just kill himself. He didn't say this, I'm just scared for him.

I'm also happy that it's going to be in 1080p because Fez is the type of game that will really put into perspective just how important it is.

Left: Before 1080p. Right: After 1080p.

Like Super Smash Bros. But Own An Xbox One And Not A Wii U?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/don-t-expect-a-smash-bros-style-fighting-game-from-microsoft-for-xbox-one/1100-6418061/

Phil Spencer enjoys the popular Nintendo brawler, but says that Smash Bros. only works because Nintendo has a ballin' cast of characters. Those are my words, but that's what he meant anyway. So that's bad news for anybody who was holding out hope that Microsoft would pull a Sony and rip off Smash Bros. too.


If You Think The Ouya Is Ass But Still Want To Play Some Ouya Games, Then Read Below
http://www.destructoid.com/soon-you-won-t-need-an-ouya-to-play-ouya-games-271393.phtml

Apparently the marketing strategy for the Ouya is to offer the Ouya games on other platforms as well. Solid work guys. And I'm leaving it at that because I was either extremely sarcastic or giving them praise... since I know jack-shiz about marketing and finance, I feel this is the best option.


If You're One Of The Few People That Love Marvel Heroes, Moon Knight Has Joined The Fight
http://www.destructoid.com/marvel-heroes-update-2-31-brings-moon-knight-271369.phtml

I actually enjoy Marvel Heroes. I like playing as my favourite Marvel characters, I like that it's a hack n'slash RPG. It's not without flaws, but it's nice to know that they keep adding stuff to it.

Zynga Releasing More Games
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/03/new-farmville-words-with-friends-coming-to-mobile-devices

There are three to be exact... Farmville 2: Country Escape, New Zynga Poker and New Words With Friends. Great, now I can get even more game requests on Facebook. If I had as many friends as I do game requests then I'd actually be popular on Facebook.



Goat Simulator (Part 2)
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/04/goat-simulator-release-date-revealed

If you remember, though I don't know why you would, I posted the trailer for Goat Simulator something like two weeks ago. I was super high on it, because it looks silly and fun, and now... we have a release date: April 1.

It doesn't matter how often I see this gif, it is always awesome.

Batman: Arkham Knight Is Confirmed For October 14, 2014 (That's This Year!)
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/04/the-new-batman-game-is-batman-arkham-knight

As you can see, there is a new Batman game, and this time it is a direct sequel to Arkham City. A new Batman game this year?

Let's go for three...


Square Enix Lets 27 People Go
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/thief-dev-cuts-27-jobs-one-week-after-release/1100-6418106/

Wait, what?

They said that unfortunately it's something that major studios have to do sometimes. It sucks because it was only a week after Thief came out. 


Start Playing Project Spark This Week
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ambitious-xbox-one-game-builder-project-spark-hits-open-beta-today/1100-6418095/

The game builder Project Spark for Xbox One hit open beta this week. In it you can create your own games or movies, and it does seem quite awesome. I love having to create my own games to play! Thanks!


Battlefield 4 Still Has Issues, More Updates Coming
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/dice-details-the-netcode-issues-disrupting-battlefield-4-promises-more-updates/1100-6418087/

Move along, I'm tired of talking about it.

Fine, fine, fine... I'll do it because I love you. Yes, you. You are the only person who reads this.

Apparently some people are receiving the reward of instant death (via being catapulted through the air) when they are trying to spring. DICE knows this, so they're going to try to fix it.


Microsoft Trying To Get Realistic Up In Herrrr
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-could-get-photorealistic-rendering-system-for-amazing-visuals/1100-6418060/

Phil Spencer says that internal testing for photorealistic lighting effects is currently underway, further blurring the lines between reality and video games. My reality is video games so this doesn't change anything for me anyway.

Aw...


Nintendo Won't Bring Mario To iPhone Because Of The Controls
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/nintendo-on-why-bringing-mario-to-iphones-is-problematic/1100-6418105/

Thank Nintendo. Kensuke Tanabe stated that it would be a "really, really difficult task." Translation since he's foreign: touch-screen controls suck ass. You're welcome, please give me a job?

Amy Hennig, Writer On Uncharted 4, Has "Left" Naughty Dog
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/uncharted-ps4-writer-leaves-naughty-dog/1100-6418113/

Amy Hennig has left the series that she has worked on for years, and according to the reports she was forced out. I sense something naughty happening in Naughty Dog. Oh, that was bad, I'm sorry.

Update: Now they're saying that she wasn't forced out. Who do I believe? How will I handle this? How do I go on?


Remember DirectX? Microsoft Does
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-will-unveil-directx-12-later-this-month-at-gdc-hints-at-pc-tablet-phone-and-console-support/1100-6418137/

It looks like an update for DirectX is coming... the first since 2008. Supposedly DirectX 12 will be revealed at GDC, but who knows with Microsoft really.

85p Microtransaction? Get Killzone: Shadow Fall
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-pricing-blunder-lets-customers-buy-killzone-shadow-fall-for-85p/1100-6418136/

In the UK there was a blunder (can't imagine that... I'm just playing UK) this week where if you spend 85p, you get an entire game. That entire game is Killzone: Shadow Fall, the launch title FPS that I adore. 

The sad thing is, there are so few players playing that game -- because they were dumb enough to release the game in the middle of Call Of Money and Battlebroke 4 -- that even with this mistake there's still probably only 2000 people playing at any given time.

There has gotta be players out there somewhere.

Speaking Of KZ, MAPS! FREE!
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-exclusive-killzone-shadow-fall-gets-free-multiplayer-maps/1100-6418134/

So this week they released two free maps, so you know, if you're one of the few people who have the game -- and coincidentally have good taste -- then download that shiz. Also, the Insurgent DLC will be available soon which sounds pretty awesome: new class with new abilities and new guns are the selling points for me but there are other smaller things as well. Pumped to try a new class.

Killzone, you have no idea how bad it gets... I wish I knew how to quit you.


The Return Of...

EA Says No More PS3, Xbox 360 Price Drops
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-says-don-t-expect-an-xbox-360-or-ps3-price-drop-any-time-soon/1100-6418135/

Thanks EA for apparently having your nose in everybody's business.

They Also Say That Free-To-Play Is Great
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-says-don-t-expect-an-xbox-360-or-ps3-price-drop-any-time-soon/1100-6418135/

Yeah because that worked out really well for Plants vs Zombies 2 and Dungeon Keeper.

Battlefield 4's Rocky Launch Didn't Hurt Shit, Okay?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-battlefield-s-rocky-launch-did-not-damage-the-franchise/1100-6418131/

EA stated that fans have been "very responsive" and that the brand hasn't been hurt. No, because pissing off your fan base by releasing a broken game that people can't play doesn't hurt anything.

Oh who am I kidding? I can make fun all I want but people are such silly little creatures that they'll still flock to Battlefield 5.


They Clone Flappy Bird More Than Big Boss
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/report-new-flappy-bird-clone-hits-app-store-every-24-minutes/1100-6418126/

Every 24 minutes a Flappy Bird clone hits the app store. At first I thought it was 24 hours but 24 minutes? Oh sweet jesus, we're all doomed.


A Couple Screenshots For The Division Showed Up
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/05/new-the-division-screens-show-rooftops-and-ui

In case you were unaware of what The Division is... it is awesome in disc format. The game looks so mind blowing that I am dead now. It is so awe-inspiring that it is the new Pandora (from Avatar) and people will kill themselves because they can't be the game in real life.

Or it'll be a flop because it has so much hype.

Either way, they released some new screenshots and here's one:

EA CEO Thinking About Virtual Reality, Not Necessarily Oculus Rift
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-ceo-thinking-about-virtual-reality-experiences-but-not-necessarily-for-the-oculus-rift/1100-6418183/

Like the title says, the EA CEO is pondering some virtual reality ideas, but doesn't know if the maker of the Oculus Rift will be a partner. People love when EA doesn't use an established platform (if you can call Oculus Rift that at this point) and instead does their own thing.

Thank you EA for your time. Now, moving on...


Zeno Clash Developer Is Bringing Old School Back With A 2D Side-Scrolling Fighter
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/06/zeno-clash-dev-to-release-a-side-scrolling-fighting-title

Abyss Odyssey is the name, and they're promising that due to the fact that levels are procedurally generated that no playthrough will be the same. I love Zeno Clash but feel that fighting belongs in a different genre, so sign me up anyway.

I just hope that the story is as easy to understand as Zeno Clash is.


Child Of Light Has Co-Op, And Uh, You Can Be A Ball of Light
http://www.destructoid.com/apparently-child-of-light-has-co-op-watch-this-beautiful-trailer-271519.phtml

From what I can gather, one player controls the main character and the other person helps by controlling a ball of light. It... let's be honest, it doesn't seem like much. I'm looking forward to playing the game, a lot, but I don't think I'll be doing co-op because I can't see me or my brother exactly fighting over who gets to be the stupid ball of light.

The trailer is in the link above... your body is not ready.


Gabe Newell Did An AMA and Half-Life 3 Is Confirmed
http://www.destructoid.com/valve-s-gabe-newell-did-an-ask-me-anything-271513.phtml

Come back when you realize I'm lying. 


I Can't Believe I'm About To Say This
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/06/call-of-duty-ghosts-dlc-to-include-the-kraken 


I can't believe I'm about to praise Call of Duty but the DLC coming up has a 100-foot alien and that's pretty cool. So, uh, well played, mmkay?

By the way, it'll be available April 3 on Xbox 360 and Xbone.


Year Walk Arrives On Steam
http://www.destructoid.com/hit-ios-game-year-walk-arrives-on-steam-271563.phtml

So you can be a little creeped out if you missed it on iOS. 


The Last Of Us Movie Is A-Go
http://www.destructoid.com/start-your-dream-casting-they-re-making-a-last-of-us-movie-271570.phtml

It looks like the movie for The Last of Us is getting made, and just like the article says, start your dream casting now.

Cue Ellen Page remarks.

DID YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S GAY TOO?

Watch Dogs May Be Delayed (Again) For The Wii U, But...
http://www.destructoid.com/watch-dogs-will-be-late-on-wii-u-to-make-full-use-of-the-platform--271565.phtml

Once again proving why Ubisoft are cool, they are concentrating on making use of the Gamepad, which would mean that Watch Dogs is the first game to do that. Burn!

Yes, it sucks that Wii U will see it later, but at least this excuse seems genuine and understandable.

Okay who am I kidding? It's not understandable for anybody who wants to play this game and only owns a Wii U.

You can pick up Watch Dogs for any system that it's on (sorry retro gamers) on May 27. That's of this year! Holy crap!


Here's Something You Probably Didn't Think You'd Ever Hear/See -- Shaq Fu Sequel
http://www.destructoid.com/crowdfunding-campaign-starts-for-shaq-fu-sequel-271557.phtml 

Further proving that in this day and age you can crowdfund everything, they are trying to make a sequel to the terrible 1994 game Shaq Fu. That game as so bad that 9 year old me hated it. 9 year old me didn't hate anything besides pizza (in which I've come around, thankfully). 

So what does this all mean? I'm pullin' a George Carlin on Voting here, if you pay for this, you have no right to complain. And you should be ashamed of yourself.

But I'm kind of curious about it. Dammit, that's how they get you.

Jack Tretton Is Not the SCEA CEO Anymore
http://www.destructoid.com/scea-ceo-jack-tretton-is-leaving-at-the-end-of-this-month-271573.phtml 

I'm just going to leave this here, we will miss you Jack:

A replacement was already announced, but if he doesn't lay the smack down Rock-style on something then I don't really care.


You Won't Be Banned For Playing TITANFALL Early
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-won-t-ban-you-for-playing-early-on-xbox-one-or-pc/1100-6418163/

If you receive a legit copy of TITANFALL before it takes over the world next week, go ahead and play it! Respawn won't even ban you from playing the game that you bought with your own money... but be prepared to deal with interruption of services as they prep everything.

I feel like at this point DICE and EA should follow this train of thought and retcon the Battlefield 4 release. "No guys, Battlefield 4 is actually going to be released in April 2014 and you have all just gotten the game early so we won't ban you."


Watch Dogs Has An 8-Person Freeroam Online Mode
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/watch-dogs-has-8-player-online-freeroam-multiplayer-mode/1100-6418176/

There goes Ubisoft, just teasing people again and again. It's all we know, but I'm sure people are excited for this.


Microsoft Wants Political Ads All Over Xbox Live Dashboard 
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-wants-targeted-political-ads-on-xbox-live-dashboard-courting-conservatives/1100-6418181/

Politicans can pay for ads on their service. That's pretty much all you need to know. I'm disgusted by this, because it's blatantly trying to plant empty political rhetoric into our brains as we play our games, and I would vote for me never vote for me do that vote for me in the voting booth where you vote.


I'll End This With TITANFALL, Because The World Changes Forever Next Week
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-preload-now-live-on-pc/1100-6418174/

You can preload TITANFALL on PC right now... just download the 20gb file, and when it unpacks and installs it will be about 50gb. This isn't possible on Xbox One, so join the master race now.

Well that's it folks, another long week has gone by and we are all a little bit older and closer to death. Make sure to check back next Saturday for more of the same, or check back on the blog daily because you never know when an article is going to pop up. 

Have fun and be safe.