The Gamescom 2014 Closing Ceremony - Best Game of the Show, Surprise of the Show, Disappointment of the Show, And More!

Written By: Tyler

Gamescom is over for another year, and like any respectable gaming website (ha), I need to give out a few awards. Let's get right to it.



Game of the Show
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor

I gave Evolve the award at E3 this year because it does look like a special game, and I don't know if it's just because I'm starting to get burnt out on it or what, but I'm not giving it to Evolve this time around.

I think I have to give it to Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor because while I am well aware of the game and what it is promising, getting to see it in action more just left me more excited. I don't feel like I'm getting burnt out on it. Both Middle-earth and Evolve are revolutionary to some extent, but I dig Mordor more.



Surprise of the Show
Silent Hills/PT

It's really hard to beat a new Silent Hill announcement, especially when it's done suddenly and in the form of a seemingly unrelated teaser trailer.

Aside from that, I was really intrigued by Wild and I'm curious by what it's going to offer.



Press Conference of the Show
Sony

Even though the Microsoft press conference felt bigger with the emphasis on bigger titles, Sony had two of the biggest surprises of the show for me -- as mentioned above -- and it was just a solid collection of lesser-known games. There is a time for AAA titles and a time for indies, so I'm not really putting more importance on either, so it is literally just Wild and the announcement of the Silent Hills teaser that put it over the edge for me.



Disappointment of the Show
Dead Island 2 Has No Story, Assassin's Creed Unity Has Microtransactions


I was wondering why we had Dying Light and Dead Island 2 coming out fairly close to one another, but Gamescom has shown that they are a lot different. Though they have some similar elements, Dying Light has more parkour and more story, so it'll be more like the first Dead Island but better.

Dead Island 2, on the other hand, seems to be endless with no real narrative to drive it forward. Even though the first Dead Island, and Riptide, didn't have amazing stories it was still something. So unless I'm completely misunderstanding, I think Dead Island 2 will get boring because doing missions is not what it's all about. Give us something else.

I'm also disappointed with Ubisoft because there is no fucking reason for a AAA title to have Microtransactions. I always thought Ubisoft was a company we could love, but they seem to be going down an EA route in some ways. They aren't nearly as bad, but Ubi... don't mess this up. There is no justification for this, even if they claim it won't affect gameplay and you can acquire all the stuff without spending money. How do we trust that progression hasn't been tweaked to accommodate the cash grab?


Unrealistic Desire For Gamescom
An Announcement of a New Perfect Dark

Before Gamescom, there was talk of a new Rare game that wasn't focused on Kinect. I'm all for that. While other people said a new Conkers (which would be awesome, don't get me wrong), Banzo-Kazooie or even a Diddy Kong Racing, I wanted a new Perfect Dark because I loved the first one and Perfect Dark Zero, even if Zero was a bit of a step down. Alas, no such luck. I knew this though, because PD doesn't seem to be the series that people want to see Rare revive. I don't get it though, because Rare became truly legendary with Goldeneye for the N64 and Perfect Dark is actually a better game.


The Trend of Gamescom
4 vs 1 Multiplayer, Player Invasion In Single-Player

There is no doubt that this year, the trend of Gamescom was a focus on 4 vs 1 multiplayer. When Evolve was first shown, everyone thought it was really cool. It still is, but games like Shadow Realms, Dying Light and I think a couple others are now jumping on the bandwagon. I'm not criticizing it, I'm just simply saying that it seems to be the newest trend in gaming.

There is also a focus on having multiplayer that blends seemlessly into the single-player experience. We've seen a few games in Gamescom like this, such as the new Metal Gear, Dying Light, etc. I'm iffy on this because when I'm playing a single-player game I want to enjoy the single-player without fearing that I'm going to miss out on stuff in my campaign because I'm not playing multiplayer. It's still a very cool idea, however.

It's E3 Day 2 But I Need To Finish Day 1, So Here's Some More Before Day 2 Officially Starts

Written By: Tyler

If you've been following my coverage of E3 -- and I know you have, because IGN, Gamespot and Twitch are rookies -- then you know I went to bed pretty early last night. Because of this, there were some titles and some news that I may have missed that I am now catching up on today. Before coverage starts for today on sites like Gamespot and IGN, I think it's best to throw up a post to round up some of the stuff I missed because unfortunately I have a job.


Freedom Wars Looks Like An Incredible Vita Game
http://www.ign.com/articles/2014/06/11/e3-2014-freedom-wars-vitaas-most-promising-new-exclusive

I don't own a Playstation Vita because at the time I was considering buying one, I was turned off by the fact that I had to buy a memory stick on top of buying the actual Vita itself. I then decided to just go back to Nintendo and get a 3DS. I don't regret this purchase at all, but as time goes on, I'm really wanting a Vita more and more. Freedom Wars has a great premise: People can be given a million years in jail time for small crimes, and in order to knock years off your sentence, you have to do things for the State. Damn you State!

Aside from the fact that it gives you a reason to do a bunch of quests, the action looks fast and exciting. There seems to be quite a bit going on on screen and there's a lot of creativity on display. Freedom Wars is definitely a game to lookout for.


Final Fantasy 14 Is Getting Gay Marriage And Two New Classes
http://www.ign.com/articles/2014/06/11/e3-2014-final-fantasy-14-getting-two-new-classes-gay-marriage

Are you gay? Do you like Final Fantasy? This one is for you. When the next patch comes out you will be able to play as the Rogue, who dual wields weapons and uses enhanced movement skills and poisons. Then the Ninja can be unlocked afterward, who does all this but adds magical abilities. Whoa, magic in a Final Fantasy?

You will also be able to marry anybody. But not everybody, because that would be weird.



Impressions

Below -- I haven't gotten a chance to play Super Time Force, but I loved Sword and Sworcery and while these are completely different games, I have high hopes for Below. I don't love Roguelikes like the rest of the indie community seems to, but I enjoy them, and Below looks like an atmospheric, interesting take on the genre. I have faith that Below will be a nice mixture of visuals, music and gameplay. The choice to have the camera so far back on your character is neat, and the things said about the game in the demo I saw gives me faith that this will be special, such as the sense of exploration.

Helldivers -- This is interesting, a co-op game that kind of encourages you to be a dick, or at the very least lends itself to your friends being dicks. It's a top-down shooter (which we don't see enough of), and when you die, your friends have to call in a respawn. Oh yeah, there's also friendly fire. The action looks wonderful, and I'm a bit of a sucker for this type of game so I'm excited. I think the name is terrible, though.


Murasaki Baby -- I'm very impressed by this game. I feel like I heard of it before, maybe just that it was coming out, but I absolutely adore the hand-drawn, surrealist (I'm a big fan of surrealism) art style. It's disturbing and beautiful all at the same time. I'm also not usually a fan of touch-screen controls, but there are certain genres where it works well. Murasaki Baby looks like a game that will benefit from the touch-screen controls rather than succeed despite them. This is one of the games of the show I have been most invested in, and it's yet another reason I need a Playstation Vita.


No Man's Sky -- I have loved what I've seen so far, but I just listened to the developer joyfully discuss the story, multiplayer and -- most importantly -- the gameplay. Even though I have been positive and excited since I saw the reveal of the game, I would say there's a bit of cautious optimism because I was scared that the game wouldn't be that fun to play. The developer has soothed these fears for me because he explained how if you're a fan of combat, there can be a lot of it, or if you just want to explore there's certainly a lot of that, or maybe you just want to focus on building your suit. There seems to be a lot of variety, and the idea that we start on the outside of the universe really adds to the mystique of... what is at the center of the universe?


 Well that's pretty much it for me. It's a little late, but Day 1 is done for me. Bring on Day 2!

E3 Day 0 (Part 1) -- The Microsoft Press Conference

Written By: Tyler

Image taken from http://e3expo.com

First thing's first, I have to do the obligatory Eminem reference when you've been gone from something for a while. Guess who's back? Back again, Tyler's back, tell my friends (because seriously, they have assumed I'm dead). Yes ladies and gents, I have been gone for almost a month. I went away, and I wasn't sure if I'd even bother writing anymore, but once in a while I'd check out the stats on this blog and I was still getting some views so I figure why not?

And now, what better time to come back than the Superbowl of gaming? It's E3 time, and here's my game plan: I am not a professional blog -- if you can't tell by now -- so I have no E3 press credentials or anything, and I have a real job to go to, but I intend on watching as much as I can during the next few days. At the end of each day, I will make a post talking about the day. Now, because of my work schedule (I have some really early mornings), there may be some press conferences or news I miss, but if I do, I will talk about that the next day.

As the Microsoft Press Conference went on, I realized just how big it was. I don't want to bombard you people with one completely massive post, so I tell ya what... this post has just become a Microsoft-only post, which means you will be getting multiple posts each day, depending on how long the posts are. I imagine EA and Ubisoft won't be as huge, so I might pair them into a single post. We'll see how it goes. Look at me adapting.



The first press conference of the day was Microsoft and it was great.

When the lights went down we were bombarded with a lot of flashy images and a countdown. Once the countdown hit 0, the Xbox symbol came up and Phil Spencer got beamed down from space (okay he walked out). After the typical corporate talk about how awesome games are and how great we are, he said that this presentation is all about the games this time, which is welcome because we all remember how bad last year went.

The first game that is shown is, of course, Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. Xbox owners will be the first to play all additional content for the game. I'm glad that Call of Duty is going a little more Sci-Fi this time around, and the footage looked like it could breathe fresh air into the franchise, but to be honest, I'm like a lot of gamers at this point where I'd need to play it and see how it is because I'm just not hyped. It definitely looks more interesting than the previous few, though.

There's a new, free track for Forza 5... and you can get it now. So, you know, do that.

Then there's Forza Horizon 2. It's 1080p and has stuff like dynamic weather. It also apparently has no lobbies so you can get right into the action. You can get it on September 30th of this year. I've never actually played a Forza and I'm not a huge racer fan so I'm not real excited, but it does look like it'll be a good time so I think any racing game fan should be excited.

And here we go... Evolve. It gets its beta and DLC first on Xbox. A lot has been said about how incredible the potential is for this game, with original multiplayer, and I really hope it's good because the trailer they showed was exciting. We get to see a new monster -- and oh yeah, it's the Kraken.

Assassin's Creed Unity is next and I'm not an Assassin's Creed guy. You can join with up to three friends on Xbox Live, which might actually be a selling point for me. I mean, I don't own an Xbox One, but I'm assuming it will be this way on PS4 and whatnot.

I'm not expecting the series to be completely re-designed and the footage shown doesn't indicate that it will be. However, I have to admit, seeing the co-op in action has me jazzed for Assassin's Creed for the first time... ever. This will add a whole new dynamic to the experience. It really looks like they're doing this right... if you can play through the story completely in co-op, I am all in.

Then we get a feature about the first games of people. Then people are burning. No this isn't the opening scene of Parasite Eve, it's Dragon Age: Inquistion. Confession time: I've never played a Dragon Age. But I want to play it.

From Fantasy to military shooter. Oh wait no, it's SUNSET OVERDRIVE... the game I'm most pumped for. Nice trickery, Insomniac Games. They show us a fun little teaser trailer before Ted Price comes out and introduces us to some actual gameplay. His favourite game is Super Metroid which makes him okay by me.

So what does Sunset Overdrive play like? It's fast, chaotic and silly.  It's colourful and fluid, and I cannot wait. You can play co-op with up to 8 friends, which would be awesome for me.

Next is Dead Rising 3 DLC. It has a really long name but it could definitely be fun. I know, I'm positive.

Here we go with something I really don't care about at all. On October 21, we have Disney Fantasia Music Evolved. You remix your favourite songs through "impressive motion play." In September, there's a digital-only title called Dance Central Spotlight. To anybody who likes this kind of thing, good for you, but it wouldn't see my money if I had an Xbone.

Fable Legends has joined the fight. I'm all for any game that allows me to play the campaign/story with friends, so the game is of interest for that reason, but Fable is not something I'm emotionally invested in. However, you are able to play as the villain and control the world from up above. This is an interesting gameplay mechanic, which I think is a nice addition because the rest of the game looks fine but not awe-inspiring. Looks like another solid Fantasy third-person action title where teamwork might actually be important.

Project Spark is up next, only for Xbox and PC. It looks like there's a lot of variety to the type of games you can make with it. I'll have to see what comes out of it... oh crap, is that... Conker? That's interesting. While I'd rather just have a new Conker, he will apparently be in Project Spark. As I was saying, I'll have to see what comes out of Project Spark but it definitely has a lot of potential.

Moon Studios is coming out with what appears to be a very artistic, side-scrolling platformer called
Ori and the Blind Forest (I think, as I was looking away briefly and I'm not sure if I read the title correctly).

The Halo music that everybody is familiar with hits, and we actually get some real footage of a new Halo. It's pretty epic and it appears that there's someone like Master Chief out there. Bonnie Ross comes out and she's pretty. Hey, I'm a guy.

On November 11th, you can get Halo: The Master Chief Collection and play all the core Halo games (featuring Master Chief of course) on Xbox One. I'm not really excited because I've played them all and I'm not the type of guy who buys this type of thing, but there's no doubt that this is a huge release. It does look like they're putting a lot of care into it... retouching "every part of the game," and they're keeping the Halo 2 multiplayer exactly the same. It has every map in all four of the games, running at 1080p, on dedicated servers and on their original engines. It will also ship with 4000 gamerscore if... you know, that matters to you.

Halo: Nightfall is a digital series and that's included in the collection. Okay, I said I'm not the type of guy who would buy this kind of thing but as the presentation goes on, I'm into it.

 In December, the Halo 5: Guardians beta shows up as well. There's a whole lot of Halo in your life.

After people were done filling the cup (Kevin Smith orgasm reference), Phil Spencer shows up to cuddle everyone with some upcoming 2015 games.

The follow-up to Limbo, Inside, is dark, moody and it looks like you're trying to escape from somewhere. I was sold on it before I saw anything just because Limbo was great.

There's a lot of indie games coming, and we see a little bit of some of them. There are too many to talk about, but I will say, there are some truly incredible looking indie games coming. This is why the indie scene is a hotbed for creativity.

Then we have a world premiere of the new Tomb Raider. It doesn't show any gameplay, so it's really hard to tell what it's going to give us.

Then we're treated to some new gameplay for The Witcher 3, one of the most hyped upcoming RPGs.
I don't know what to even say... it just looks like a big, bad RPG. The combat looks solid and the hunting looks fun.

Then Ken Lobb comes out and starts talking about Killer Instinct. But wait, he's bringing sexy something else back. What is it, you ask? None other than Phantom Dust, and I feel really ignorant because I don't even know what that is. The footage only shows us a cinematic of two people throwing fireballs at each other, basically, so I don't know what to think.

Oh man, now we talk about The Division, one of the games I'm most excited for. The video starts with some pretty Christmas music, but I'm going to guess that something goes wrong. You know, just a hunch. Christmas Day is treated so poorly in fiction.

After the squad meets up, we get to witness a battle. I'm well aware that the people playing it are going to play more "professionally" and thus cooler than a lot of players, since they're trying to hype the game up and make it more like real team work (as opposed to a lot of gamers just playing stupid), but damn it looks like a lot of fun. The combat, of course, doesn't go as planned and things get chaotic. Cover gets blown up and the enemies seem to be relatively intelligent. I still don't get how the multiplayer is going to work in the sense that where do opposing players fit in?

Next Scalebound gets shown off with a nice cinematic that once again really tells you very little about the actual game. All these games look cool.

The next exclusive Xbox One game is Crackdown 3. I've always wanted to play Crackdown but haven't gotten around to it. Again, it's all cinematic with lots of explosions so Michael Bay would be proud. What is it going to be like as a game? I'm sure it'll play like the others, but you can't tell much from it.

Oh hey, Phil Spencer is back to wrap it up. He talks about how awesome Xbox is going to continue to be. The press conference ends with a montage of games in a variety of genres


Closing Statement: I think it would have been hard to mess up this press conference because of the focus on games. We know that Microsoft was bound to get some awesome games, and they did a good job of giving the stage to what gamers truly care about. It was a successful conference to me and made me want an Xbone even more than I already do, as its the only next-gen console that I don't currently have.


What do you think? Did I report anything wrong? Don't kill me if I did, because I have a hard time multi-tasking so watching video and writing made my head explode and I was replaced by an incompetent robot. Tell me what you think in the comment section below or yell at me on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime

Weekly News Round-Up, March 23 - 29: Facebook Buys Oculus Rift! Oh The Horror!

Written By: Tyler

We have seen a lot happen this week. EA happened some more, Minecraft did stuff, and games were played. I know you're busy because you have a life, so I have taken it upon myself to update you with all the most -- or at least some of it -- interesting video game news of the past week.

This week I've decided to make it a Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley theme, because that guy is weird and I love him. His facial expressions and reactions are great for everything.

Let's Start This Week Off Right -- EA CEO Talks Getting Things "A Little Bit" Wrong
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-ceo-when-we-get-it-a-little-bit-wrong-we-do-our-best-to-fix-it/1100-6418484/

I'll start this bad boy off with a direct quote that's in that link above:

“For whatever reason, whether it was because they were pushing the boundaries of innovation and they pushed a little hard and things didn't go so well," Wilson told Fortune, referring the SimCity offline debacle, endless Battlefield 4 issues, and problems with NBA Live 14. "We won't always get everything right, but my hope is that we're seen as a company that tries to do amazing things. When we get it a little bit wrong, we do our best to fix it."

The internet does not like you, EA.
EA Voted Worst Company In America AGAIN


Speaking Of EA Being A Crappy Company -- They Won't Win "Worst Company In America" A Third Time
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-won-t-be-named-worst-company-in-america-this-year/1100-6418513/

Time Warner Cable narrowly edged out EA so EA won't be able to complete the hat trick.

Denied!

 I haven't trusted Time Warner since they sold World Championship Wrestling anyway.


EA Delays Battlefield 4 DLC Until Whenever Because Of A "Hiccup"
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/battlefield-4-naval-strike-dlc-hiccup-causes-pc-delay/1100-6418518/

Battlefield 4: Naval Strike won't not be released for a bit as they hammer out a problem with the PC version. It still has shown up on consoles, but you're trying to tell me that the PC version of Battlefield 4 has problems?

At this point I'm so glad that the computer I was using before my new one couldn't run Battlefield 4.


EA Planning To Make The Star Wars Games Like The Batman: Arkham Games
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/ea-plans-to-model-star-wars-games-on-batman-arkham-series

EA is taking influence from the Batman: Arkham series in the sense that the Star Wars games aren't going to be tied to any existing Star Wars movies. Taking ideas from other companies concerning their own games? I thought they were too busy innovating.


Origin Isn't Going To Sell Physical Copy Of Games Starting April 4
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-s-origin-service-will-stop-selling-disc-based-games-next-week/1100-6418630/

That's right! Nobody likes Origin but here's a story for you all. It will be a digital-only service come April 4th.


But Wait, You Can Get Dead Space For Free On Origin Now
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/dead-space-free-on-origin-as-the-first-title-in-ea-s-on-the-house-promotion/1100-6418601/

You can now get Dead Space for free on Origin as part of their "On The House" program. Why is EA doing this? Because they feel bad for screwing with gamers all these years Because they are gamers too, stating, "We appreciate you making Origin your gaming home...and besides, who doesn't like free stuff?"

No I'm not making fun of homeless people.

Saint's Row Developer Was Making A Post-Apocalyptic Western Open-World Game
http://www.destructoid.com/volition-was-making-a-post-apocalyptic-western-272402.phtml

And now they aren't because it would have taken too long. Dammit! I feel screwed.


Escape Goat 2 Has Arrived... But Check Out This Awesome Trailer
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/double-fine-introduces-escape-goat-2-with-second-funniest-trailer-of-the-year-so-far/1100-6418515/

In the link above there is a trailer to the new game Escape Goat 2, which you can now buy. Admittedly, the trailer doesn't show a lot of gameplay (but there are other trailers available) and is entertaining because it's just funny.

Escape Goat 2 comes out this year, and then there is Goat Simulator. Could it be that including goats in games is the new trend and making open-world games is out? Only time will tell.

Pick up Escape Goat 2 NOW! I made it! No I didn't...


Marc Whitten May Be Leaving Microsoft, But He Praises The Xbox One Future
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/marc-whitten-promises-xbox-one-is-just-beginning

Even though he's peacing out of Microsoft, he has said that Microsoft is on their way to reaching what they want the Xbox One to be.

Yeah.

The New Mario Kart Still Has The Same Release Date, Even Though There Was Some Confusion
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/nintendo-refutes-mario-kart-8as-early-release-date

Nintendo cleared that stuff up like it was acne. The game is still coming out May 30, not a couple weeks before.


Here's When You Can Start Ignoring Your Family
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/elder-scrolls-online-announces-exact-launch-times/1100-6418485/

You want to know when Elder Scrolls Online officially launches? So does everyone else. Here are the times for the launch:

• North America (East): 7:00 PM EDT, Thursday, April 3
• UK/IE: 12:00 AM WEST, Thursday, April 4
• Central Europe: 1:00 AM CEST, Thursday, April 4
• Sydney, Australia: 10:00 AM AEDT, Thursday, April 4
• Singapore: 7:00 AM SGT, Thursday, April 4

Also in that link are the times for the three day early access and five day early access. Somewhere also in that link is a link that takes you to a page made by the uncle of your best friend's mother that tells you the secret of the Universe.


Minecraft On The PS3 And 360 Get A Big Update 
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-ps3-xbox-360-versions-getting-major-update/1100-6418483/

Not sick of playing Minecraft on last-gen consoles? Well, they got your back. A big update is rolling out that offers new terrain generation options, new potions, blocks, and even a carrot on a stick special item that allows you to ride pigs.

Yes, this is happening. By the way, that's a carrot on a stick in case you can't tell.

TITANFALL Gets A Balancing Update
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-update-fixes-bugs-adjusts-balancing-makes-the-smart-pistol-less-lethal/1100-6418482/

In the link above (god I love just being able to link things... it makes my work so much easier) there is a huge list of the balancing updates that have hit indie game TITANFALL. Most noticeably, the Smart Pistol has been nerfed which makes me go:

Luftrausers Took 2 And A Half Years To Develop, Already Makes A Profit
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/indie-game-luftrausers-took-2-5-years-to-make-becomes-profitable-in-72-hours/1100-6418508/

Luftrausers only took 72 hours to make a profit, which is great news for the indie developers. Take that Minecraft, you gigantic money making bastard!


Nintendo And Sony Not Going To PAX East
http://www.destructoid.com/microsoft-will-be-at-pax-east-sony-and-nintendo-won-t-272409.phtml

Don't worry, Microsoft will be at PAX East, but Nintendo and Sony won't. In the link above there is a list of the people/companies/groups that will be attending. Some other companies that won't be showing up are "Nintendo, Sony, EA Games, Capcom, Sega, Warner Bros Interactive, Twisted Pixel and Deep Silver." (I'm a real journalist and I stole that from Destructoid so I quote it... how professional)

Those are some big names not showing up. I'm too much of a wrestling fan to not be skeptical though, and I think this is a work. I think they're just plotting something behind the scenes and what we're seeing is the 2014 game version of the:

Or if you wanna be more topical and not stuck in the 90s... the companies are working a CM Punk angle.

Don't worry, they'll be there. They're going to invade PAX East brothers.


Sony Gets Rid Of "Numerous" Employees In Guerilla Cambridge, SCE London And Evolution
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/25/sony-layoffs-hit-evolution-guerilla-and-sce-london

I never make fun of layoffs in the Weekly News Round-Up because this is always sad to hear.


Microsoft Is Implementing The Major League Gaming App For The Xbox 360
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/mlg-app-comes-to-xbox-360-lets-you-watch-live-broadcasts/1100-6418498/

If you have Xbox Live Gold, then you'll also be able to watch Major League Gaming on your 360. Major League Gaming isn't to be confused with Major League Baseball -- if you're like me and you originally just skimmed through the article and thought it said MLB -- because I wouldn't want anybody to confuse a fake sport with a real sport.

Just kidding eSports, you know I love you.


Don't Expect Toki Tori 3
http://www.destructoid.com/don-t-expect-toki-tori-3-anytime-soon-272419.phtml

Apparently there isn't an audience for it, so fans of the series shouldn't expect a third entry any time soon. Don't worry I won't!

Toki Tori is actually a series I've meant to play but haven't yet. So it's my fault guys, sorry.


Remember The Ouya?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/all-of-ouya-s-games-have-free-trials-but-that-s-going-to-change/1100-6418500/

Yeah, me neither.

The Ouya is going to have slightly different policies. From what I can understand, originally developers had to create a demo for the console which cut into actually making the game. But now, instead of forcing developers to do that, they can now choose to have a free-to-try or paid model. So now, Ouya is getting rid of demos and implementing a system where Ouya will have demos.


Ubisoft Vice President Of Creative Lionel Raynaud Makes A Statement... Gets Bluff Called
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/virtual-reality-devices-need-to-sell-1-million-units-before-ubisoft-gets-interested-update/1100-6418392/

Lionel Raynaud is excited about Virtual Reality systems like Project Morpheus, Oculus Rift or actually going outside and experiencing life... but said that they would need major numbers sold in order for Ubisoft to use the new technology. He said VR would need to sell a million units.

Then, someone else from Ubisoft came out and was basically like, "nah, 1 million isn't actually what it would take dudez." That's a direct quote, obviously.


Blizzard Says Diablo 3 Is In Development For Xbox One
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/diablo-3-in-development-for-xbox-one-but-blizzard-not-sure-if-it-will-ever-launch/1100-6418494/

...but says they don't know if it'll be released, due to contracts and whatnot.

So they're developing a game that they know may not be released?

In unrelated news, I traveled to the future and in a year Blizzard lays off employees.


Rich And Don't Know What To Do With Yourself?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/white-xbox-ones-appear-on-ebay-can-be-yours-for-1500-and-up/1100-6418493/

The way I see it is that if you're rich you have two options.  You can either send me money or you can buy this white Xbox One for $1500 and up.

Super Mario Bros. 3 Hits The Wii U And 3DS Virtual Console April 17th
http://www.destructoid.com/super-mario-bros-3-is-finally-hitting-the-virtual-console-on-april-17th-272465.phtml

In a shocking turn of events, Nintendo is finally putting a Mario game on one of their systems!

If you want to play arguably the greatest Mario of all time, make sure to pick it up. There are other games coming soon too like Metroid Fusion, Golden Sun and more.


Ubisoft Going Hard On PAX East
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/ubisoft-to-demo-watch-dogs-trials-fusion-and-more-at-pax-east

Ubisoft is going to demo Trials Fusion, Child of Light, Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Phantoms, and The Mighty Quest For Epic Loot... along with Watch Dogs. Sounds great, but who's going to watch, uh, play, play the... Watch the Watch Dogs? I give up. This was messed from the beginning. I'm sorry.


Lorne Lanning Has Anger Issues
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/oddworld-creator-lashes-ea-talks-abeas-oddysee-remake 

Lorne Lanning in his Black Metal band.

The Oddworld creator had a little bit to say about EA and Oddworld:

On Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty

“We still see press calling it an HD remake, and it’s not a f--king HD remake."

On EA
“F--k that business. I don’t want to play with that business, because it was a losing business. I just don’t want to go back and play the old [publisher] game. I’d rather not make games than go f--king be a slave for public companies who care more about their shareholders than they do about their customers."

“Why did Battlefield 4 ship? You know that team was crying. You know that team knew that game wasn’t ready to go. You know that team f--king spent a lot of sleepless nights building that s--t out to look as good and play as good, when it was able to be experienced, being played as they were intending it to be played. Someone made a decision that the shareholders are more important than the customer. And we see a lot of that. How do you blow that? How do you take that f--king jewel and ship it with dirt all over it?”

I like this guy. He should write the Weekly News Round-Up.


Guild Wars 2 Is Going To Be Prettier In The April Patch
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/26/guild-wars-2-features-getting-revamped-and-enhanced-in-april

Guild Wars 2 is going to have a patch, but it's mostly just to enhance the game, rather than add new story.


Peter Molyneux Is Still Jaw Jackin'... Verbally
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/molyneux-the-indie-golden-age-won-t-last/1100-6418524/
 
Peter Molyneux recently said to enjoy this whole indie game thing while it lasts because it goes in cycles. He cited the music business, saying punk is popular for five years, then we get everything being manufactured.

Peter, we've had the same mainstream crap in North America for like 15 years. Or more.



Stop The Presses - Facebook Buys The Oculus Rift
http://kotaku.com/facebook-buys-oculus-rift-for-2-billion-1551487939 

This will probably be the biggest news of the week. Facebook bought the Oculus Rift for 2 billion dollars.

Mark Suckerberg (Oh I'm so edgy) says:

"Now Facebook runs the entire world. We bought the Oculus Rift, we're about to buy North America, and the surely we will conquer everything. We're so popular that God constantly updates his status."

Or he actually said:
"Mobile is the platform of today, and now we're also getting ready for the platforms of tomorrow," Oculus has the chance to create the most social platform ever, and change the way we work, play and communicate."

I'm sure the gaming aspect of the Oculus Rift will not be tampered with, and I'm looking forward to being able to hang out with the people I don't want to talk to in real life in a virtual world.


Oculus Rift Will Eventually Be Redesigned With Facebook Logo And Inferface
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-rift-will-eventually-be-redesigned-with-facebook-branding-report/1100-6418548/

Geez. Facebook has to slap their logo on everything. Luckily this blog will never see that.

In related news, the Kickstarter backers of the Oculus Rift are pissed. I can't possibly understand why.

Update: Facebook says (because it's a physical person now) it won't redesign shit.


Palmer Luckey Shoots Off About The Oculus Rift And Facebook
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-rift-creator-we-promise-we-won-t-change-following-facebook-buyout/1100-6418562/

Palmer Luckey did what anybody would do when having to answer questions -- he went to Reddit. In the link above he talks about a bunch of different things concerning the acquisition of the Oculus Rift by the tyrant Facebook. But I'm not posting it here because that will take up a lot of space. What? You actually expected me to? What is this, Communism?

In short though: Things will get better, indie development will increase, it will be more open, they'll have more money for new hardware and better people, and you won't have to log-in to Facebook and see all the annoying posts everyone makes (including myself) in order to use the Rift.


The Deal Only Took 72 Hours! 
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/some-deals-take-months-but-facebook-completed-its-purchase-of-oculus-vr-in-72-hours/1100-6418566/

Facebook moves fast, and sure enough they moved fast again. It only took 72 hours to make the Oculus deal. That's pretty impressive.

In related news, Mark Zuckerberg is actually Sonic.

Michael Abrash Leaves Valve, Joins Oculus
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/oculus-vr-hires-another-valve-virtual-reality-veteran/1100-6418627/

Michael left Valve, and had this to say: "Facebook's acquisition of Oculus means that VR is going to happen in all its glory. The resources and long-term commitment that Facebook brings gives Oculus the runway it needs to solve the hard problems of VR--and some of them are hard indeed. I now fully expect to spend the rest of my career pushing VR as far ahead as I can."

My, what a brash man. Get it? GET IT? Please accept me.

Dat Facebook money.

Oh Yeah, This Is Happening -- Goat Simulator Dead Island Trailer


Do you remember the Dead Island trailer that was so emotional it made the entire universe cry? It was one of the best video game trailers of all time and it made Dead Island look like it was going to hit you right in the heart.

Well the creators of Goat Simulator paid homage/parodied it with this. You should have watched it before you read what I had to say about it, but if you haven't, clicky-clicky that video above because it is so worth it.


Bioshock: Infinite's Final DLC Hit This Week
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/say-goodbye-to-bioshock-infinite-as-its-final-dlc-is-out-today/1100-6418526/

Burial At Sea - Episode 2 hit the week, so if you're a fan of Bioshock: Infinite, make sure to pick up the DLC. And if you understand the ending of the original game, contact me and explain it to me. Thanks!


Microsoft Believes Now Is The Time For Something That Should Have Been There From The Original Plans
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-on-loaning-and-gifting-digital-xbox-one-games-we-totally-believe-in-that-future/1100-6418534/

If you're a gamer you probably remember Microsoft at E3. I shouldn't even have to tell you which one. They came out, said a bunch of things that annoyed everyone and now have reversed their policies. Well, now, they're fine with a loaning and gifting digital game service.


Did You Cheat In TITANFALL? Welcome To Alcatraz
http://www.destructoid.com/titanfall-cheaters-can-only-play-with-other-cheaters-now-272499.phtml

If you cheated in TITANFALL and got banned, you can still plan... but only with other cheaters.

TITANFALL New Modes Will Be Free... DLC Will Be 10 Bucks
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/new-titanfall-modes-won-t-be-locked-behind-a-paygate/1100-6418551/

You won't have to pay for the new modes in TITANFALL, but there is DLC in the works that you will have to pay for.


Sony Can't Keep Employees

The Driveclub director has left to be indie.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sony-s-ps4-racing-game-driveclub-loses-its-director/1100-6418552/

Don't you know it works in cycles! Molyneux said so! Get out of there Col Rodgers!

But Driveclub is still making good progress and a release date is coming soon.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-racing-game-driveclub-making-spectacular-progress-release-date-coming-soon/1100-6418567/

Seth Killian has also left the God Of War developer to do his own thing.
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/yet-another-playstation-designer-leaves-sony/1100-6418554/

 I'm sure whatever he chooses to do, he's going to kill it. Get it?

Torchlight Co-Founders Peace Out And Start A New Studio
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/torchlight-co-founders-leave-runic-games-to-start-new-studio/1100-6418577/

Travis Baldree and Erich Schaefer left Runic Games and are now starting up their own studio named Double Damage Games. I for one trust any company named Double Damage.


You Want The Last Of Us On PS4? Nah. Well, Maybe
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/report-the-last-of-us-coming-to-ps4-as-physical-and-digital-release/1100-6418573/

A Sony representative from Turkey (yum) has said that the Ellen Page game The Last of Us may be coming to PS4. But nobody knows if it's true or not at this point, and since The Last of Us is going to be a Playstation Now (not now, but later) game... it seems a little wonky. 


Here We Go Again -- Video Games Make Kids Violent
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/study-violent-video-games-could-be-linked-to-aggressive-behavior/1100-6418556/

I had hoped that we were past this point, but I guess in my heart I knew that a new study would pop up eventually, just like a new villain will inevitably pop up in Gotham.

There's been a recent study that basically stated that kids who play a lot of video games are more violent than kids that don't. Of course, like any study, there was controversy and someone else basically said that it's a stupid study.

Well said.

But Hey, Gamers Aren't Loners Either
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/gamers-are-not-anti-social-basement-dwellers-study-finds/1100-6418624/

A new study has said that gamers aren't the anti-social dickholes that pop culture makes them out to be. In fact, according to this study, loners in the gaming community are the exception to the rule and not the norm. Gamers are actually incredibly social. Unless you're me... in which case you just sit at home by yourself, playing your MMORPGs with just your older brother because you don't want to deal with other people. But I'm not anti-social.


Notch Comes Through The Door Blastin' On Cliffy B
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-creator-responds-to-cliff-bleszinski-calling-him-a-pouty-kid/1100-6418609/

Cliffy B called Notch (the maker of Minecraft in case you've been living under a rock or you know, don't give a crap about Minecraft) a "pouty kid" when Notch announced that he was cancelling development for the Oculus Rift once it was acquired by Facebook.

Notch replied by saying, "I'm a man driven by principles, not capitalism, so I guess I'll just have to get used to the occasional name calling." Of course, this was all said on Twitter because real life what?

Am I the only one who finds a beef between two game developers funny? We're not exactly known for being tough guys... but hey, I don't have a study to back that up.

PS4 Getting Over 100 Games In 2014, There's A List Of Them In That Link Below
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-getting-over-100-games-in-2014-here-s-the-full-list/1100-6418569/

Do you want games? We all do! PS4 is supposedly going to have over 100 by the time 2014 ends. And I'm going to play every single one of them.

 

Microsoft Won't Allow PC And Xbox One Crass Platform Play... Well, Maybe A Little
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-won-t-allow-xbox-one-pc-cross-platform-play-says-war-thunder-dev/1100-6418587/ 

Microsoft said it won't completely allow cross platform play, however, they will work closely with developers when they have to or need it. But they actually will allow it sometimes, so god damn it, this isn't news at all.


But Microsoft Thinks That There Will Be "An Army Of Huge Franchises" Coming To E3

Phil Spencer says, "If you look at attach rate on the consoles right now, people investing in the great new AAA IP, it's great. I think at this year's E3 between us and EA and Activision, Sony, and Nintendo, you're going to see another army of huge franchises coming."

Well I hope so since E3 is the biggest gaming event of the year.
 

Microsoft Is Releasing Halo: Spartan Assault On Steam April 4th...
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-has-no-plans-to-release-more-halo-games-on-steam/1100-6418613/

...But doesn't have plans for any real Halo games to show up on Steam. So I guess, pick it up or whatever.


Phil Spencer Also Talks About Japan
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/console-gaming-not-dead-in-japan-microsoft-says/1100-6418629/

Oh hey, it's just Phil Spencer talking again. Soon I'm going to have to give him and Peter Molyneux their own "EA Corner" type thing. This time he said, "It's critical for us in the industry that we continue to invest [in Japan] and see great games come out," as he doesn't think that the gaming population has gone down in Japan.




Justin Richmond Says Bye To Naughty Dog, Joins Riot
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/uncharted-4-director-leaves-naughty-dog-for-riot/1100-6418600/

Justin Richmond, the Uncharted 4 director, has left Naughty Dog in order to join the company that we can blame for League of Legends. There are no hard feelings, and Uncharted 4 will not be impacted at all, except for the fact it now takes place in space and involves Nathan Drake mating with aliens. No major changes though.

And seriously, Riot? There's no money in League of Legends.

...


3D Realms Is Still Fighting Gearbox
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/the-gearbox-3d-realms-legal-battle-over-duke-nukem-is-heating-up/1100-6418586/

3D Realms says that they have the rights to make a new Duke Nukem game, and they also own the trademark still.

Well, that's settled.

Warface Beta Is Open Now For Xbox Live Gold Subscribers On the Xbox 360
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/crysis-developer-s-warface-hits-open-beta-on-xbox-360/1100-6418585/

If you want to torture yourself with a mediocre game, feel free to get in on the Warface beta if you're an owner of the Xbox 360. But I recommend not.


Devil's Third Has A New Logo
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ninja-gaiden-dev-s-action-game-devil-s-third-gets-a-new-logo-2014-reveal-teased/1100-6418583/

Tomonobu Itagaki's new action game has a new logo, and it's new, so check it out while it's new.

Third what?

Is The Newest Deus Ex Game Called Mankind Divided?
http://www.destructoid.com/square-enix-trademarks-deus-ex-mankind-divided-272600.phtml

According to this article it is. Apparently Square Enix trademarked "Deus Ex: Mankind Divided" in the UK so that could possibly be the title of the next Deus Ex.

They could call it Deus Ex: On The Gamely Sucks Hard and I wouldn't even care... I just want another Deus Ex. In fact, do that. Right now.


Wanna Be A Chef In A Post-Apocalyptic World? DayZ's Got You Covered
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/28/day-z-survival-update-adds-cooking-weapons

When "the moment [they] are confident [they] have a suitable build to release" a new update for DayZ will appear. This will include an improved AKM weapons model, new locations and... cooking! That's right, you can get your Master Chef on in this game whenever the update comes out, because really that's why we go to a game like DayZ to begin with.

"Boy, I hope they're making roast beef in there."

"Hey, got any roast beef in there?"

"Sir I don't see any roast beef anywhere."

I hope you enjoyed this edition of the Weekly News Round-Up. Hate me and my news? Tell me on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime.

Make sure to tune in again next Saturday, and every day because you never know when I'm going to post an article, and I'll leave you with one final Dean Ambrose gif:

Weekly News Round-Up, March 9 - 15: The Witcher 3 Delay Kills Millions

Written By: Tyler

When I write these round-ups, I edit the article at least once a day since it's an on-going thing throughout the week. With that said, let's see if we can get through the week without mentioning TITANFALL, outside of that once.

Since The Wire officially had its last episode on March 9 of 2008, and many people were mourning for at least a week six years ago because of that... expect to see a lot of gifs in honor of the greatest show of all time. 

This week's Weekly News Round-Up Is Sponsored By:

No, not really... but of they want to back up the Metal Gear truck to my house and unload a whole bunch of merchandise I will be theirs forever and do anything they want -- up to and including killing a man. I can be bought. Get this game on March 17.

I hope you enjoy this week, and tell me what you think in the comments below or follow me on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime and yell at me there.


SHOTS FIRED!!! Microsoft Takes Aim At Sony Concerning "Games With Gold"
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-s-phil-spencer-says-games-with-gold-is-fundamentally-different-than-playstation-plus/1100-6418195/

Phil Spencer says that "Games With Gold" is different because you get to keep the games even if you don't renew your subscription., which admittedly is a bonus. But I would imagine a lot of Playstation users will always have Playstation Plus because you need it to play most online games, so the rental-type service isn't really that bad.

But I'm jealous because in the past "Games With Gold" has offered games such as Halo 3... a game that pretty much every Xbox owner must have had anyway.


Newegg Is Offering The Xbone With A Free Game
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-comes-with-free-game-on-newegg/1100-6418194/

If you buy an Xbone from online retailer Newegg for 500 dolla dolla billz, you get a free game! You can choose between Call of Duty: Ghosts, Battlefield 4 (makes a good beverage coaster), Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag, Need For Speed: Rivals, NBA 2K14 and... Just Dance 2014.

Or, by the time you read this, you can get the TITANFALL bundle.


I Am Sorry, For I Have Failed

I mentioned TITANFALL again.


Bobby Kotick Receives A Measly 7.85 Million Dollar Bonus
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/activision-blizzard-ceo-bobby-kotick-receives-7-85-million-bonus/1100-6418250/

This news makes me so sad. The Blizzard CEO only got a 7.85 million dollar bonus due to his performance in 2013. As we all know, Blizzard basically pumps crack into the streets in the form of WoW, Starcraft and Diablo, so he should be commended for his drug dealing skills.

EA States That When You Push Innovation You Miss Other Things

http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-on-battlefield-4-simcity-issues-when-you-push-innovation-you-miss-other-things/1100-6418234/

Yeah, like functional games. Releasing sequels that may slightly improve on the games prior isn't innovation either. Shut up EA.


EA Cuts Jobs At Plants vs Zombies Studio
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-cuts-jobs-at-plants-vs-zombies-studio/1100-6418302/

Apparently 40 people lost their jobs. Always sad to see layoffs.



Ubisoft Has A Bunch Of Games Planned
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ubisoft-has-assassin-s-creed-splinter-cell-and-three-more-unannounced-games-in-the-works/1100-6418209/

Quoted from Gamespot:

Ubisoft Toronto's Current Development Pipeline:

• New Assassin's Creed
• Two new IP
• New Splinter Cell game
• Mystery game based on one of Ubisoft's "biggest" franchises

Necessary Jade Raymond Picture:

I have no sex appeal to market so I use the sex appeal of others.

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing 2 Is Comin' April 17
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/incredible-adventures-of-van-helsing-2-gets-a-release-date

The first was surprisingly good, so anybody who hasn't played it should go play it meow. Then play the sequel which I can only assume will be more Van Helsinger than the original.


The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Is Delayed Until 2015
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/the-witcher-3-wild-hunt-release-date-delayed-to-2015

If you haven't killed yourself because of the headline, you can expect the game in February of next year. It'll be okay, they just want to make the game the best it can possibly be.


Xbox One Live's Core Services Were Limited This Week, Not TITANFALL's Fault
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/xbox-ones-live-core-services-limited-not-titanfalls-fault

Xbox Live had some issues this week, but don't worry, they made sure to inform us that it wasn't TITANFALL's fault... which was unnecessary because like your troubled child, nothing is ever really TITANFALL's fault.

Here's A Shocker, Flappy Bird Creator Considering Bringing The Game Back
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/flappy-bird-creator-considering-bringing-the-game-back

Dong Nguyen recently had an interview in Rolling Stone and he stated that he's considering bringing the game back, but with a precaution that people should take a break from it. Personally I don't see the appeal because the game is ass, and he didn't say that it's coming back for sure by any means... but I wonder what is making him consider it? Hmm..

Don't Have Enough MMOs? The Wildstar Release Date Leaked
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/wildstar-release-date-leaked

The MMO is a growing genre that up until recently had no popularity whatsoever, so it's nice to see Wildstar coming out pretty soon to finally breathe some life into this dying genre. It comes out on June 3.


Yakuza Forced Ubisoft To Reveal Watch Dogs At E3
http://www.destructoid.com/ubisoft-forced-watch-dogs-e3-reveal-minimum-pc-specs-defined-271858.phtml

Okay, so I'm just kidding about the Yakuza thing. In reality Ubisoft forced the Watch Dogs reveal at E3 that year where it erupted and completely consumed the gaming world. New consoles what? We have Watch Dogs.

The specs were also revealed, so, there's that too. The specs are in the link above. What? You thought that I was going to show them? What do you think this is?

Fine:
IntelCore 2 Quad Q8400 2.66Ghz or AMDPhenom II X4 940 3.0Ghz, 6GB RAM, 1024 VRAM DirectX 11 Shader 5.0 SCard: DirectX9 25 GB.

Don't say that I don't love you.


Speaking of Watch Dogs...
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/watch-dogs-beta-download-found-on-xbox-one/1100-6418231/

It's also possible that there will be a beta before the final release.

The Last Of Us Movie To Re-Tell The Story of The Game
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/another-reason-why-the-last-of-us-movie-is-sounding-good/1100-6418282/

Really, it's a funny concept when you think about it -- a video game adaption in movie format that tells the story of the game. So strange.

To those who haven't played The Last of Us, here's a basic rundown of the story: Two people try to survive in a post-apocalyptic world run by infected. Never been done in the movies before... should be good!

SHOTS FIRED!!! 2 Sony Vs Microsoft Again
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sony-fires-off-another-shot-at-xbox-policies/1100-6418280/

Adam Boyes took a shot at Microsoft over their policies for ID@Xbox which basically limits independent developers in the sense that every game they release must be released on the Xbox One at the same time as any other console, so no timed exclusives.

Adam Boyes figured that was stinky so he released this image on Twitter, the place where everyone goes to feud:

Um... pwned? Do people say pwned anymore? Well I do.

 Will this be the Biggie vs Pac of this decade? Time will tell.


Sony Talks The Last Guardian
http://www.destructoid.com/sony-i-love-that-people-are-still-interested-in-the-last-guardian-271839.phtml

Scott Rhode said, "You’re going to be very frustrated by this answer, but it is 100 percent the God’s honest truth, and that is that we want to make great games. And when we see that the public is so interested in a specific game, of course that drives us to want to complete that game. But it also drives us to want to make it great. We would not want to ship that game if we don’t think it’s great."

He said that the game is in the mix.

We've been waiting at least 73 years for this game.

And this is all we get?

Stallion83 Basically Becomes A God Among Gamers Who Love Unlocking Achievements
http://kotaku.com/watch-live-as-a-hero-gets-a-gamerscore-of-over-one-mill-1542821937/1542852654/+lukeplunkett

Though I'm not a guy who really gets caught up in that kind of thing, I have to give props to any gamer who accomplishes anything substantial within gaming. Congrats, comrade, for reaching a gamerscore of 1 million.

Never has this been more appropriate.

Masahiro Sakurai Doesn't Give A Shit About Your Console War
http://kotaku.com/smash-bros-creator-reviews-the-ps4-1542882797

Masahiro Sakurai has a badass name. He also created Kirby and Smash Bros. Guess what he also does? He likes the PS4, despite being a Nintendo guy... a concept that is immune to fanboys of any console.


Shovel Knight Is Delayed
http://www.polygon.com/2014/3/12/5502070/shovel-knight-delay

Shovel Knight is the game about Triple H (a little bit of humour for anybody who has ever paid attention to what the Internet Wrestling Community thinks) has been delayed by a few weeks in order to offer a better product. Whew, at least it's only a few weeks.


Never Fear, The Fun Box Is (T)Here... Er, In China
http://www.polygon.com/2014/3/12/5501608/china-getting-its-own-native-built-gaming-console-the-fun-box

So China has its own console coming out soon, and if you remember, the video game ban was lifted not too long ago. So um, yeah, The Fun Box. The Fun Box.

Does this mean China world domination in video games? Probably.


Wii U Is Outpacing PS4 In Japan
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/13/wii-u-sales-outpacing-playstation-4as-in-japan

So, you wouldn't believe it but the Wii U is actually outpacing the PS4. The Wii U sold more systems in its first three weeks than the PS4 has. Well, that's embarassing.


Hideo Kojima Wants To Make A Silent Hill
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/kojima-would-like-to-work-on-silent-hill-is-he-a-good-fit-for-the-series/1100-6418299/

Gamespot asks, is he a good fit? Are you nuts? Of course he is... he's Hideo Kojima.

So the news is that he wants to make a new Silent Hill, but also would be interested in a free-to-play adventure game even though it seems unlikely. He doesn't want to make puzzle or card games.


Hideo Also Wants Snake in New Super Smash Bros. But It's Probably Not Happening
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/14/kojima-open-to-snake-returning-in-super-smash-bros-for-wii-u

I loved Snake in Smash Bros. but it appears that he isn't going to be there this time around, despite Hideo asking really politely to have him put in. What a nice guy.


Hold Your Horses, A Second MMO Hits The Market In the Future
http://ca.ign.com/videos/2014/03/14/swordsman-announcement-trailer

Following the buzz of Wildstar and this new avenue to explore in PC gaming, there's a martial arts-inspired MMO titled Swordsman coming out. There's a video in the link above, and it looks like Jon Jones is finally going to fight Daniel Cormier.

I just hope that we don't get flooded with MMOs to the point that they become stale.


Playstation 4 Going Up In Price In Canada
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/14/playstation-4-prices-going-up-in-canada

On March 15th (holy crap that's today!), the PS4s are going up in price, same with the camera and Dual Shock 4. I would say go out and get one before it's too late, but if you're just finding this out today then it's too late, you've already been hit (Limp Bizkit - Head For The Barricade reference, since nobody actually listens to that garbage but me).

Canada is the greatest country on Earth. Obviously.


Now Onto Some Good News -- Crazy Taxi!
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/new-crazy-taxi-game-revealed-here-s-everything-we-know/1100-6418312/

Yay! New Crazy Taxi!

...For mobile.

In the link there is a rundown of everything they know so far but I've just become depressed because everything I hold dear gets sequels on phones. Hopefully it's good but, uh, forget it. Fuck this.


Josef Fares Thinks Very Highly Of His New Game
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/designer-of-acclaimed-brothers-says-next-project-is-something-that-hasn-t-been-done-before/1100-6418313/

So Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons seemed to really catch on, and now Fares says the next game will be something we haven't seen before.

Fares... I've been on the internet for over 10 years, there's nothing I haven't seen before.

No User-Generated Content For Infamous 3: Second Son
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-game-infamous-second-son-won-t-support-user-generated-content/1100-6418317/

So unlike Infamous 2, there wont' be user-generated content as part of Second Son. There won't be a demo either. Which means you're in the dark about as much as you can be with the internet connecting everybody at all times, infecting your brain until you can't take it anymore, to the point where you explode and start watching reruns of Heroes while you wonder how they could mess up something so great so bad.

Ahem.

I don't know where I was. So, moving on...


More Details About Hyper Light Drifter
http://www.destructoid.com/here-s-some-info-on-how-hyper-light-drifter-is-going-to-play-271956.phtml

The game is going to be hard but never unfair, with enemies being smart and the battles being more thoughtful. I don't even care, just give me the game right NOW! Inject it into me, it doesn't matter, I just want it.


Infamous Was Going To Be Animal Crossing With Superheroes
http://www.destructoid.com/infamous-started-as-an-animal-crossing-like-game-271958.phtml

This makes the whole "Villager is a psycho" meme even more terrifying.

In what is probably the funniest, strangest and most awesome news of the past week (and possibly my life), Infamous was going to be like Animal Crossing, but with you being a superhero. I am always down for Animal Crossing, and this sounds amazing. I want this instead of Second Son, not that I think Second Son will be bad.


New Steam Controller Prototype
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/here-s-the-latest-steam-controller-prototype/1100-6418327/

On the left is the new design.

I guess I close out the news this week with an image of the new design for the Valve Steam controller. Personally, I think it looks kind of stupid but I'm sure it'll be functional and fine. They're going to show it off next week at GDC so make sure to stay tuned.


Oh Wait, There's More! Let's Talk About Skype On Xbox One
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/15/skype-for-xbox-one-receives-many-new-features

Always reliable Skype has some updates for the Xbox One version and these inclu