Weekly News Round-Up, March 16 - 22: Peter Molyneux Has Lots To Say And TITANFALL Is Still Talked About Too Much

Written By: Tyler

If you haven't, Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes is out this week (review here: ), sut if you haven't played it, you should be playing it. Go, it's okay, I'll forgive you.


Unless You're Australia And New Zealand, Because Yeah
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/metal-gear-solid-v-ground-zeroes-release-is-delayed-in-australia-report/1100-6418345/

If you live in Ausland and New Zealand, Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes comes out a week later so you have to wait until March 27th. Sorry, I contacted Konami (I didn't) and I couldn't do anything to help you out.

check to see if its retail or digital as well


And Phantom Pain Doesn't Come Out To Early 2015
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/17/metal-gear-solid-5-the-phantom-pain-may-release-early-2015

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain was originally going to be released later this year, but now it seems like it may release early next year. That doesn't do me any good, I could be dead next year!




TITANFALL Anti-Cheating Measures Are In Place But Not Activated
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/17/titanfall-anti-cheat-measures-coming-soon

There is cheating going on in TITANFALL, even though it's hard to imagine a world where people cheat, especially in online games. Respawn has the technology to stop it, but they just haven't activated them yet. They've caught a bunch of cheaters, but just haven't punished them yet.

So there's cheating huh? Well that must be why I die so much.

Watch Dogs Will Take At Least 100 Hours To Fully Complete
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/17/watch-dogs-takes-40-hours-to-complete-on-average

The story will take around forty hours, whereas the full game will take more than double that. The game is allegedly going to drop in May, so once May comes, Watch Dogs will take over the world (along with Mario Kart).


Ultra Street Fighter 4 Gets The Final Character Reveal
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/capcom-saves-the-least-exciting-ultra-street-fighter-iv-character-reveal-for-last/1100-6418349/

The last character to be revealed is a disappointment to fans, because a lot of them are mad that it seems like Capcom just reskinned Cammy. Her name is Decapre and she is based on charge attacks.

Am I the only one who thinks that the world is only balanced when Capcom keeps re-releasing the same Street Fighter games over and over again? I can't even hate, I kept playing every version of Street Fighter 2 back in the day. Damn you Capcom.


TITANFALL Sells Xbox Ones
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/titanfall-launch-sees-xbox-one-sales-almost-double-in-the-uk/1100-6418348/

In news that surprises exactly no one, TITANFALL was a system seller. It also has the biggest launch week of the year, with Dark Souls 2 (WHY ARE PEOPLE SUCH MASOCHISTS?) coming in second.


Pikachu Is the Japanese Soccer/Football Team Mascot
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/pikachu-is-japan-s-awesome-mascot-for-fifa-world-cup-2014/1100-6418347/

Sweet! Pikachu is the mascot for Japan. The Pokemon Squad will include Meowth, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle, Chespin, Froakie, Fennekin, Pancham, Helioptile, and Litleo.


Rare Says The Kinect Is Awesome, Basically
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/a-kinect-less-xbox-one-would-be-a-real-shame-says-rare/1100-6418350/

Rare has said that it would be a "real shame" if the Xbox One came without the Kinect. Danny Isaac, producer of Kinect Sports Rivals, said that it makes game development much more diverse.

Kinect Sports Rivals... Rare's the company that made games like Blast Corps, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, Killer Instinct, Battletoads, and many more. Now they focus mostly on Kinect Sports Rivals and other Kinect Sports games.

How the mighty have fallen.

"Plot Is Highly Overrated"
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/17/gdc-plot-is-highly-overrated-in-games-says-devs

No, your face is overrated!

Way to keep it classy Tyler.

At GDC there was a speech called 'Death To The Three Act-Structure" where Riot Games’ Tom Abernathy and Microsoft Game Studios’ Richard Rouse III talked about how plot doesn't matter... but characters do.

They basically stated that research informed them that when people are asked about the plot of a movie, they will go on at great lengths about it. With video games... not so much. They said that people do remember the characters, though not so much in context of the plot.

Speak for yourself, when I'm asked about the plot in anything I can't remember because I can't remember five minutes ago.

Now what was I saying?


There's An Xbox One April Update Coming
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/18/xbox-one-april-update-to-improve-friend-notifications-dvr-and-more

What the title says... just click that linky-link above and all the details will be there. I think the update involves transforming your Xbox One into a helicopter, solving world hunger and effectively collapsing Capitalism, but I'm not really sure.


Home Is Coming To PS4 And Vita
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/18/indie-horror-game-home-coming-to-ps4-ps-vita

Indie horror game Home is coming... into... your... home....

Developer Benjamin Rivers has this to say about his own game. "It’s a game that’s meant to be played alone, in the darkest room (or alley, or barn, or deep, dank forest) you can find." That's what strangers used to tell me when I was a child.

Expect it sometime later this year.


CD Projeckt Red Is Making A Mobile Game
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/18/witcher-dev-cd-projekt-red-making-mobile-game

There's no information on it yet, just that it's happening. Should be more powerful than The Witcher 3.


New Brawler Named Aztez Looks Great And Is Even Coming To The Wii U
http://www.destructoid.com/brawler-aztez-is-like-patapon-x-madworld-coming-to-all-consoles-272075.phtml

After it gets released on Steam first, it will see a release on Xbox One, PS4, Vita and even the Wii U! And as far as we know it won't be missing features once it arrives on the Wii U!

It looks awesome. You'll see it mentioned a lot, but the comparisons to Madworld (a game I've meant to buy at least five thousand times) seem fitting.


A Bunch of AAA Developers Are Forming Like Voltron And Making Their Own Game
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/former-call-of-duty-tomb-raider-devs-jumping-aaa-ship-to-make-their-own-next-gen-title/1100-6418326/

In a move that we've been seeing more often as of late, a bunch of developers known for games like Call of Duty, Tomb Raider and that new Ninja Gaiden game people are concerned over, are coming together for the common good and creating their own game. The working title is Daedalus, and it's described as "an existential horror trip into a surreal, half-forgotten dream."

Crap, that's my life.

Ghost Recon Online Is Now Called And Has Gotten A Makeover
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ghost-recon-online-gets-a-new-name-and-a-makeover/1100-6418360/

The free-to-play (HEY DON'T LEAVE) game Ghost Recon Online is going to be released on April 10 on PC. However, it will be called Ghost Recon Phantoms and has officially gotten a...

Only problem with gifs is the lack of sound.

Guess What? Diablo 3 Auction House Has Officially Shut Down
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/18/diablo-3-auction-house-shuts-down-for-good

Except it's still up. Don't get mad because it seems like they're just waiting for the current auctions to time-out. This is one small step for gamers, and a giant leap for Anti-Bullshitism.



Do You Need Food Badly? No, You Need A New Gauntlet
http://www.destructoid.com/a-new-gauntlet-game-is-coming-from-the-makers-of-magicka-272042.phtml

It's looking like the developers of Magicka are doing us a solid and are creating a new Gauntlet for SteamOS and PC. So... thanks for that.


Sacred 3 Is Comin' In August
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/19/sacred-3-gets-release-date-and-gameplay-footage

Sacred 3 is going to blow my mind August 26th. That's the North American release date... if you live in Europe you get it on the 22nd. Damn you Europe! I thought North America was the best place ever!


We're Just Going To Go Ahead And Jam More Assassin's Creed Into Your Eyeballs
http://www.destructoid.com/screenshots-of-next-assassin-s-creed-game-leak-272178.phtml

Leaked Assassin's Creed images have shown up online. Allegedly there's going to be two released this year... one for last-gen, one for next-gen (what's current-gen! I can't take this!).

In one of the images, it shows the main character looking over the city. It's important to note that it's still an early screenshot. Here's the picture:

The real image is in the link above, but I think it's pretty close.

Look in the link for the images.

So if you're not tired of Assassin's Creed, I think it's safe to say you will be.


Mojang Is Poor!
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/minecraft-maker-mojang-made-a-whopping-326m-last-year/1100-6418397/

Mojang only made $326m last year. You can donate to them on their website to help them out.


Geoffry Zatkin Predicts That This Gen Of Hardware Will Be The Last
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-ps4-wii-u-could-be-the-last-generation-of-gaming-hardware-says-research-firm/1100-6418410/

It seems to happen every year, and this year it's Geoffry Zatkin doing it. During GDC, during a panel titled "Awesome Video Game Data," he made the claim. Is the future in services rather than hardware?

I can't wait until the day I can't do anything because the internet went down.


Wanna Make The Best Games Ever?
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/epic-opens-up-their-unreal-development-tools-to-everyone-with-a-19-subscription-service/1100-6418407/

For as little as $19 a month, you can gain access to the Unreal engine and start making your masterpieces. No longer do you have to keep your unoriginal game ideas to yourself!


Or You Could Pay $10 For Crytek
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/crytek-undercuts-unreal-engine-4-with-10-cryengine-subscription/1100-6418427/

Yes! You can buy all of Crytek for 10 dollars a month. No, but you can get their engine for that much. Plus, unlike the Unreal engine, you don't have to give Crytek royalties.


A PS4 Firmware Update Is Coming And You Are Not Ready
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/future-ps4-firmware-update-will-let-you-dim-dualshock-4-s-lightbar/1100-6418436/

You can dim the lightbar on the controller! Holy crap!


Speaking Of Sony, They're Making A TV Show Called Powers
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/following-xbox-sony-announces-first-original-tv-show-for-playstation/1100-6418431/

They're creating a TV show called Powers that is part police procedural, part crime noir, and part "holy crap that guy has superpowers." It is going to be on Playstation only, so if you want to watch it, you'll have to pick one up.

Or download it. If that's your thing. You know. Yeah. Whatever.


EA Could Be The Worst Company In America... 3 Years In A Row
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/electronic-arts-is-again-in-the-running-for-worst-company-in-america/1100-6418386/

EA is in the running again for that title, and I certainly hope it gets it. It'd be an accomplishment. It's always funny how a gaming company wins this over companies that have probably done worse. But screw it, I'm all for it.


EA Secures Rights To TITANFALL 2
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/report-ea-secures-rights-to-titanfall-2/1100-6418404/

Just when I thought that maybe I could stop talking about TITANFALL in the Weekly News Round-Up, this drops on me. Sure, it's only been reported, but we all knew it was coming anyway. I guess people bought TITANFALL. Who knew?


Speaking of TITANFALL... The 360 Version Is Delayed Until April 8
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/19/titanfall-delayed-on-xbox-360-to-april

To those with the Xbox 360, you're crap outta luck again. If you wanted to play TITANFALL -- the same game everyone else is playing -- then you have to wait until April 8.

TITANFALL 2 Won't Be Exclusive To Microsoft Platforms
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/report-titanfall-2-won-t-be-exclusive-to-microsoft-platforms/1100-6418429/

Sources -- hey don't look at me, I don't know anything -- have stated that TITANFALL 2 will be for multiple platforms. Well then, that's one less reason to buy an Xbox One.

Peter Molyneux Says Stuff (Shocking) About Nintendo
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/peter-molyneux-never-underestimate-nintendo/1100-6418434/

Legendary and outspoken game dev Peter Molyneux says that while he's not a fan of the "clunky" design of the Wii U, the people at Nintendo are super smart people.

He also said "never underestimate Nintendo" even if they have "lost their way a bit." Yeah! I can get behind all of this, and I will because I actually paid money for the Wii U. This was the plan all along... it's a slow build like Daniel Bryan winning the title in WWE. Nintendo definitely knows what it's doing, that's why they've announced a new Metroid. And Zelda.


He Also Said That EA Is Not An Evil Empire
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-is-not-an-evil-empire-peter-molyneux-says/1100-6418442/

Well that's just crazy talk.

He also said that they've done a lot for the video game industry. In all honesty, it's hard to deny the impact that they've had on the industry, but that isn't going to stop me from making jokes at their expense... and it shouldn't stop you either. I'd even go so far as to say it's your civic duty to tease and belittle EA.


He Also Stroked Himself Concerning Godus
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/fate-of-god-game-genre-depends-on-success-of-godus-molyneux-says/1100-6418462/

Molyneux said that the "God" genre depends upon Godus, and said that Godus will give us something nobody has seen before. Just like God himself! Zing!

What are you talking about? I'm right here.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf Had An Equal Amount Of Women And Men Developing It
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/animal-crossing-new-leaf-was-developed-by-an-even-mix-of-men-and-women/1100-6418423/

Like the headline states, the development was 50/50 on the sex front. If another man or woman tried to upset the balance by being bastards and trying to get hired, they were taken out to a dark alley and shot... all in the name of fair.

The Year Of Luigi Ended On March 18
http://www.destructoid.com/the-year-of-luigi-has-ended-272261.phtml

It's official... Nintendo will no longer include Luigi in anything and are going to come out with new IPs.

What? That's not what it means? Oh, they just aren't going to focus on Luigi anymore, but you know you'll see him again.

That's A Good Boooooy
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/20/gdc-xbox-live-members-may-be-rewarded-for-good-behaviour

Microsoft is trying to make the world a better place... and they're doing this by actively encouraging people to be good. They're working on a way to reward Xbox Live players for not being disrespectful douchebags.


Epic Games Not Working On A New Unreal Because That's What People Want
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/20/gdc-epic-games-not-working-on-new-unreal-tournament-title

They simply stated that there isn't a new Unreal being made. I made up the reason why because I'm snarky.

There Are New Screens For Batman: Arkham Knight That Show Some Of The Villains
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/21/batman-arkham-knight-screens-reveal-riddler-penguin-and-two-face

I'll just leave this here.
Game Informer has others: http://www.gameinformer.com/b/features/archive/2014/03/19/inside-batman-arkham-knight-s-rogue-s-gallery.aspx


Obsidian Wants To Try A New Genre -- The MMORPG
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/21/obsidian-announces-involvement-in-new-mmo-skyforge

Obsidian is helping Allods Team develop Skyforge, a Sci Fi/Fantasy MMORPG that already has beta sign-ups. They also are making a tank game, because why not go from South Park to a tank game. They're so similar!


Bulletstorm Disappears From Steam
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/21/bulletstorm-vanishes-from-steam

Bulletstorm has disappeared from Steam but it's speculated that it's just because of patching for the Games For Windows Live shutdown.

But what if it isn't? What if it's been a conspiracy all along to keep Bulletstorm down?

 #BulletstormMovement


Sony Having Problems Keeping Up With PS4s and The PS4 Camera
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/20/ps4-demand-to-outstrip-supply-until-the-summer

People want the PS4s and they're having a hard time keeping them stocked. Same with the PS4 camera, but that boggles my mind. Anyway, I have some advice for anybody who wants a PS4 and can't get one. Just wait... there aren't any games for it yet. That's what we call The Wii U Problem.


Sony Wants To Compete With The Oculus Rift
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sony-announces-ps4-virtual-reality-initiative-project-morpheus/1100-6418391/

At GDC Sony announced Project Morpheus, a virtual reality device that is being developed. There is more info about it in the link above, but that's the gist of it.


Microsoft Doesn't Know What "Literally" Means -- Talks Selling Xbox Ones And TITANFALL
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-discusses-the-xbox-one-sales-marathon/1100-6418451/

Phil Harrison has said that the console race is a "marathon, not a sprint." Which is true, and has been said before by Microsoft. Then he went on to say that TITANFALL is blowing the doors off both literally and figuratively.

If you buy TITANFALL, this can happen to you.

I'm not so sure that's how it works, Phil.


Sledgehammer Games Says The 2014 Call of Duty Is Ambitious And Creative
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/call-of-duty-2014-is-ambitious-and-creative-sledgehammer-says/1100-6418444/

"Ambitious" and "creative" are two words that shouldn't be used to describe Call of Duty (anymore), but that didn't stop Sledgehammer Games from using them. But you know what? I'll believe them when they say that the 2014 CoD is going to be awesome... because after all, being the creator of a famous blog has afforded me certain opportunities. I actually know what's going to make it so amazing, and it may or may not be having two dogs instead of one.


This Just In -- The Internet Is Hateful
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ex-microsoft-creative-director-discusses-the-internet-hate-phenomenon/1100-6418465/

Adam Orth -- the guy who told the internet to #dealwithit before Bootista even got the idea -- opened up at GDC about the toxicity of the internet and all the bad things people say. To anybody who has spent even five minutes on the internet, this isn't big news, but I'll just save the internet some time and do what they're inevitably going to do anything... post a meme:

Microsoft Says That They Won't Have Many Execs At E3 Because It Should Be All About The Games
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-e3-presentation-this-year-won-t-feature-many-execs/1100-6418463/

Microsoft isn't going to have many execs at E3 because they feel that E3 should be all about the games. They also apparently have way too much content to show off and have had to cut some things out of their 90 minute presentation.

It's sad that something like this has to be news, but props to Microsoft for doing exactly the opposite of what they did last year. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?


There Are Rumors That Far Cry 4 Will Allow You To Ride Elephants
http://www.destructoid.com/ridable-elephants-in-the-himalayas-rumored-for-far-cry-4-272297.phtml

It's been reported that Far Cry 4 will allow you to ride elephants. That's it, that's the news.

We've had home video game consoles that can be connected to a TV since 1972, but finally we can ride elephants.

Spend Some Time With Your Family Now Because You Won't Have Them After March 26th
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/everquest-next-landmark-closed-beta-starts-march-26/1100-6418476/

Why are you going to be alone after March 26th? Because the Everquest Next beta starts then... and if history has told us anything, Everquest ruins lives. As of the day this article was published, you have four days to make love to your wife and play with your kids, because after those four days the only love you will be getting is from Brutus the Ogre.


At Walmart, Bests Buy and Amazon... The TITANFALL Bundle Is $450
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-titanfall-bundle-drops-to-450-at-wal-mart-best-buy/1100-6418457/

What the headline says... go there now and you can get a deal on the TITANFALL Xbox One bundle. If you're getting it from Amazon, make sure to type in X1AMAZON to get the deal. And while you're at Amazon, make sure to check out my Wish List and buy me stuff that I don't need!


Koji Igarashi Leaves Konami
http://www.destructoid.com/legendary-castlevania-developer-koji-igarashi-leaves-konami-272052.phtml

Castlevania developer Koji Igarashi has left Konami to make the kinds of games that he wants to make.


Marc Whitten Leaves Microsoft
http://www.destructoid.com/14-year-xbox-veteran-marc-whitten-leaves-microsoft-272082.phtml

He came, he saw, he conquered. He helped create the original Xbox, Xbox Live, the Xbox 360 and now the Xbox One-Three... now he left to do something else. As long as it's not Zynga, he should be okay.


I Leave On The Gamely
Well guys, I'm out. Cya.

Hideo Kojima Needs More Money -- A Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes Review

Written By: Tyler
Platform Played On: PS4

Rating: 9/10
Verdict: The price tag is sure to, understandably, turn people off, but the game that is there is wonderful and is a good teaser for what's going to come in Phantom Pain. I can't imagine fans of Metal Gear hating the gameplay, because it's what Metal Gear is supposed to be.


To put it lightly, I'm a Metal Gear fan. It's been my favourite series for quite some time now, and it got to the point where I stopped job searching until I beat Metal Gear Solid 4. My first ever email was a Metal Gear reference, and one of my first online usernames was "Solid Cobra." I like the series. It's with this information out in the open that I proceed with my review -- a review where I will level the game with some criticisms but still somehow manage a 9 out of 10. Hey, at least it isn't a 10 which I'm sure Phantom Pain will end up getting.

The problem with Ground Zeroes is that it's a glorified demo. For thirty bucks. Knock it down to about ten or even fifteen, and I'm not complaining nearly as much, even if it still ends up seeming more like a money grab than anything. It's been said that the main story in Ground Zeroes can be completed in ten minutes, but it took me about an hour and a half because I took my time. Still, I spent almost half the amount of a full game for an hour and a half of story, with a few side missions (set in the same area) that end up taking maybe half an hour each. I can understand the pain of paying this much money for this little content, but Metal Gear 5: Ground Zeroes is a pain that hurts so damn good.

Before I gush over how good the gameplay actually is, let's just keep talking about the bad... just to get it out of the way. The side-missions are nothing to write home about, but it does add content to the game that extends the playtime to maybe five hours if you include the story, getting every single thing, and playing these missions on hard. Five hours is a lot better than an hour and a half (or less if you want), but seeing as how these are just side-missions set in the exact same spot you play the story, they lose their appeal a little bit. It's just very difficult to separate oneself from the price tag, and I get that. I can totally understand the reluctance to buy this for that reason.

I'm not really a fan of Sutherland as Naked Snake/Boss, because I -- like many others -- am used to the gravelly David Hayter voice. I think Hayter's voice just fits him, and I hear Sutherland when Boss talks now. It's not that Sutherland doesn't do a good job in the little bit that we hear him, it's just that for a long time Hayter's claim to fame has been Snake, whereas Sutherland is an incredibly famous actor and being Snake is just a little blip on his career. I am still willing to give him a go when Phantom Pain comes out... I want to let the voice grow on me and I want to hear him become Boss instead of just being Sutherland playing Boss.

So... I am iffy on the voice so far, and the price tag is ridiculous. Why does this game get a 9? Because it's legit awesome... all things considered.

Some critics harped on about the story not being much of anything. Well, yeah, Ground Zeroes is short and the actual game is supposed to be a hundred times bigger. The crazy, confusing, epic story will come, but I actually disagree with some critics because I think this little glimpse of the overall story is fascinating and well done. The cutscenes are memorable and well staged, and it ends on a great note. It's a teaser more than anything, but it's a successful one that makes me want Phantom Pain right now. That was always the point of Ground Zeroes.

But above all else, what we can gather from this demo is that the game plays well. It took me a little while to get used to what I can do, but they have evolved the Metal Gear experience in little ways, so sneaking around (or blasting everyone in sight) is still a joy. The Marine base that you're in is open but not open enough that you're confused where to go. You have a bunch of different ways to get to where you want to go. The game is familiar in a lot of ways, and is distinctly Metal Gear, but I didn't want them to drastically change how it looks, feels and plays.

The changes that they've made, such as managing your inventory, or CQC, are all well done. The guns feel good to shoot, the action is fluid and smooth, and the fact that you can call in a helicopter is going to add a lot to the full game (if that's the route you want to go, though sneaking is always priority one for me while playing Metal Gear).

Metal Gear has not lost its charm. In the beginning cutscene we are introduced to a villain with a disfigured head, and the music selection within that same cutscene is great and sets a good atmosphere. It's a blast interrogating the Marines and getting information from them about where things are, and then stabbing them in the neck. When you get seen, the game slows down and allows you to find the enemy and shoot him before he has time to alert the rest of the Marines.

One controversial aspect is regenerative health. Metal Gear fans are used to rations, with very minimal regeneration abilities, so this is sure to turn off some. But health that regenerates has been the trend for years, and maybe it was only a matter of time. At this point I'm just used to it so I feel nothing.

The game goes into much darker territory this time around, and while some have felt that it is awkwardly handled, I like the gritty nature of it because this is supposed to be the final game chronologically before the events of Metal Gear for the NES. I think Kojima is perfectly capable of handling the subject matter, and I thought the ending was proof of that.

Ground Zeroes is polished, runs well, looks great, and is a wonderful primer for the absolute monster that is going to be released next year. I always follow Roger Ebert's philosophy on reviewing to some degree where he said that you have to rate something based on what it's trying to accomplish. That's why I can give this a 9 out of 10, because the game that is there is excellent. However, I do reflect the price tag issue by knocking it down a point because it's the elephant in the room and it's hard to ignore. Some will be harsher on that, but I stand by a 9.

Top Ten Tuesday -- Top 10 WTF/Silly Metal Gear Moments

Written By: Tyler

This is a big day for me. I'm an unabashed and unashamed Metal Gear fanatic and we're getting Ground Zeroes today (review coming).

I'm sure when Phantom Pain comes out I'll do another Top Ten... maybe something a little more serious like my favourite scenes or something. But since Metal Gear can go from serious to silly in a matter of moments, I feel like it's fitting to do a Top Ten WTF/Silly Metal Gear Moments.

Unfortunately I know there are going to be things I missed because the series is quite large at this point and I've forgotten a bunch, but that's what the comments below are for. Or message me on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime.


10: Nanomachines
While the concept of Nanomachines isn't silly by default, how far Metal Gear takes it is. Nanomachines are the cause for a large percentage of, well, everything that goes on it seems. I think the Metal Gear universe has a Nanomachine problem.

9: The Translation In Metal Gear -- You Know What I'm Talking About
While this isn't so much silly as it was just a product of its time, there's a special place in my heart for the poor translation of the first Metal Gear. You don't even have to go far to find the more memorable stuff, as it's right there at the beginning.

"Uh-oh, the truck have started to move," and "I feel asleep." Two lines that will forever be in my heart.


8: The Opening Commercials In Metal Gear Solid 4

When you first start a new game in MGS4, you are treated to a bunch of commercials that you can flip through. Just putting commercials in a game is strange enough, but some of these are weird. They tie into the themes in the game but it was so unexpected I have to put it here. And don't lie, when you first played you thought there was something wrong with the game too.

Up above is one of the commercials.

7: The Pain

You can't talk Metal Gear without talking the bosses, and so there had to be a strange one in here. I didn't pick Psycho Mantis because he is just more "cool" to me than silly or WTF. I chose The Pain over Fatman because he uses bees. Bees are hard as fuck, but this is a world with people who can read your mind, immortal vampires, people that can't die, giant walking death tanks... you get the picture. So The Pain, you are the silliest.


6: Naked Raiden
It's not even that this is illogical, it's just silly to actually play as a naked person. Think about it, you've been tortured, locked up, embarassed -- whatever -- so now you're naked. Instead of beating around the bush, they let you play as naked Raiden -- a feat that is especially awesome because so many people hated Raiden. Meanwhile, while you run around naked, the entire game is spazzing out and giving you a hard time.

Also, doing cartwheels is great.


5: Otacon Sleeping With Step Mom
http://www.gametrailers.com/videos/0xmyj1/metal-gear-solid-2--substance-metal-gear-s-top-5-awkward-moments

There's a lot of stuff going on in this game, and you could you know, die, at any second... but Otacon straight-up weirds us out by telling us that he slept with his step-mom. Not expected at all. But then again, Otacon has a knack for throwing in unnecessary questions or comments at inappropriate times.


4: Slipping On Bird Poo In Metal Gear Solid 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8h40vzqiKQ


In the video above, that for some reason I can't embed, it shows a player slipping on bird poo in Metal Gear Solid 2. This happened to me more than I'd like to admit, which means obviously I'm awesome at stealth. Just the fact that they made this possible is one of the many reasons I love this series.


3: Johnny Sasaki Always Has Toilet Problems

There's a reoccurring character in the Metal Gear franchise and his name is Johnny. He always has bowel problems. What this shows is that Kojima knows the value of a good poop/fart joke.


2: The Cardboard Box

The cardboard box is a miracle of science, and nothing respects that fact more than the Metal Gear universe. Watch this video and see them "oh" and "ah" over why the cardboard box is the best thing ever. 


1: The Crotch Grabs

There is nothing like some homo-eroticism to end this list. The crotch grabs are plenty in this series, and while this isn't the greatest video of them, they are there and they are awesome.

Ye Indie Game Corner 2 - Spaceshippy, Cave and Heart Break Simulator

Written By: Tyler

It has been a long time since I did a Ye Indie Game Corner, but never fear people because I have done another one. I basically just went to Gamejolt, picked a bunch of the newly added games randomly and then played them. So now I will give you a quick rundown of what I think about each and every one.


Spaceshippy!
Get it here: http://gamejolt.com/games/arcade/spaceshippy/23985/

Spaceshippy! is a Flappy Bird clone, and I think Flappy Bird is crap. However, I did enjoy this more than Flappy Bird because a) it doesn't feel like I'm getting advertising shoved up my rectum, and b) it's just an improvement.

The basic premise is the same: tap the screen (or press the mouse in this case) to move up. You have to use your thruster engines to kill Flappy and Floppy birds. You don't just hit the birds, you have to position yourself correctly or you'll take damage. There aren't any pipes, but there are wrecking balls and laundry. You take more than one hit to kill, and your spaceship does show damage, so it's more in depth than the game that influenced it.

It's better than Flappy Bird, but Flappy Bird itself was only tolerable on mobile when you're out somewhere you're just waiting to do something better or more important. Maybe it's unfair to Spaceshippy! to review this on PC because of this, but actually sitting down at my PC to play this was not ideal. As it stands, is it okay? Yeah, but will I play it again? Nope.

Rating: 5/10


Cave
Get it here: http://gamejolt.com/games/other/cave/23987/

In cave you walk. To the right. That's about it as far as I can tell. There's no challenge and no enemies as you progress in the same direction. I was critical of Sluggish Morss 3 when I reviewed it and the Sluggish Morss trilogy influenced Cave, which is the first game by the developer. While I gave Sluggish Morss 3 a 9.5, I commented on how I believe games should have engaging gameplay first and foremost (an opinion that some people disagree with, I know). I refused to give it a 10 for that reason, even though everything else was spot-on and really appealed to me.

I know I'm talking about the Jack King-Spooner game, but there's a reason for that. This game lacks on gameplay but is high on atmosphere and creativity. From the opening screen you can see the Sluggish Morss influence, but maybe it's a little too similar... though I'm sure the developer will create their own identity more fully as more games are created. However, I can't hate on this stuff. I'm a sucker for surreal, weird, thought-provoking games, and that's the reason I gravitate towards games like this, games from cactus, Jake Clover and Jack King-Spooner. It's a thrill to see what each new screen is going to present to me, as the different mixture of art-styles is visually appealing, and by the time the fantastic ending hits, you're left going, "huh?" But in a good way.

The developer has a bright future because this is a great first game... but only if you can give yourself to something like this.

Rating: 8/10



Heart Break Simulator
Get it here: http://gamejolt.com/games/strategy-sim/heart-breaker-simulator/23971/

No... just... no.

Heart Break Simulator allows you to play as one of the most popular and beautiful girls in school, who also happens to be Tifa from Final Fantasy 7. I'm not really sure what I expected from this, but I certainly didn't get it. Simply put, this game is awful.

All you do is click "Start Level" and a bunch of nerdy looking kids pop up. They don't say anything but you have a few choices on how to break their heart. The choices themselves aren't bad and are reasonably clever (I guess), but there's no control to this game. It gives you points depending on how badly you break their heart, but it's the same choices over and over with no reason to keep trying.

When Silver Dollar Games makes a morally questionable game about something like cheating on as many girls as you can, at least there's a little bit of gameplay and challenge there... a reason to get a little stressed out. I'm not saying Silver Dollar Games are the pinnacle of excellence, but they should have made Heart Break Simulator because this is one of the worst games I've ever played. Having poitns does not a game make.

Rating: 0/10

Five Drinking Games Not To Play On St. Paddy's Day

Written By: Tyler

Before I begin, I just want to say that people should drink responsibly. Drinking and driving is not okay, and if you think you are too drunk to drive, you are... so don't. Even if you've had a few and think you can drive... don't. I'm not a drinker myself, outside of some rare occasions, but this isn't a guilt trip. In fact, I'm making this article as a joke and it's not meant to make fun of or be insensitive towards people who have been affected by drinking in a negative way.

This isn't a serious article! So don't say, "well they don't actually do this that often in games," because it's a comedy post. And by all means, give me your own picks because I only chose five.

Though most people would have had their fun by the time they read this because St. Patrick's Day falls on a Monday and that gives people an entire weekend to forget, the actual day is today so that's why I'm posting this up.


 1: Don't take a drink every time you die in Flappy Bird. Flappy Bird is considered one of the hardest mobile games and for good reason -- because it's bullshit. The simple concept of flying a bird in between pipes by tapping the screen doesn't sound hard, but in practice it's extremely frustrating because the game doesn't want you to be happy. I don't urge people to take a drink every time they die if they want to live, which is an awkward sentence.

In fact, it was reported on Gamespot on March 5th that a Flappy Bird Clone is created every 24 minutes. If you take a drink every time a clone is created then that's a much safer environment for yourself and others.


2: Don't take a drink when you die in Dark Souls 2. In what can only be described as a surefire way to make your children parentless or your parents childless , don't take a drink when you die in Dark Souls 2 because that would mean you'd be taking a drink approximately every -2 seconds. That's right... the game is so hard it kills you before you even start playing. Just don't do this kids.


3: Don't take a drink every time that Solid Snake doesn't have a sweet clue what's going on. I'm a Metal Gear fanatic -- as you're going to see over the next couple days -- but Solid Snake is notorious for not having any idea what's going on. This is a guy who is basically an ultimate soldier yet somehow he's always in the dark about what's going on.

Mind you, this is safer than 1 and 2 by a long shot, but I still wouldn't recommend it to anybody.
Every Time


4: Don't take a drink every time I die in an online first-person shooter. Unless it's Killzone -- the only FPS where I feel like I'm at least decent -- then I don't stand a chance. For your own sobriety and health, avoid taking a drink ever time I die in an online shooter.


5: Don't take a drink every time that you get called a "meat puppet" or some variation of meat in Borderlands 1 and 2. The psychos and just the general banter from enemies and NPCs is always entertaining in the Borderlands series, but you'll get called a meat puppet or a meat bicycle (or something meat related) so often that if it were a drinking game the entire room would be passed out within an hour.

Weekly News Round-Up, March 9 - 15: The Witcher 3 Delay Kills Millions

Written By: Tyler

When I write these round-ups, I edit the article at least once a day since it's an on-going thing throughout the week. With that said, let's see if we can get through the week without mentioning TITANFALL, outside of that once.

Since The Wire officially had its last episode on March 9 of 2008, and many people were mourning for at least a week six years ago because of that... expect to see a lot of gifs in honor of the greatest show of all time. 

This week's Weekly News Round-Up Is Sponsored By:

No, not really... but of they want to back up the Metal Gear truck to my house and unload a whole bunch of merchandise I will be theirs forever and do anything they want -- up to and including killing a man. I can be bought. Get this game on March 17.

I hope you enjoy this week, and tell me what you think in the comments below or follow me on Twitter @ArtBathednCrime and yell at me there.


SHOTS FIRED!!! Microsoft Takes Aim At Sony Concerning "Games With Gold"
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-s-phil-spencer-says-games-with-gold-is-fundamentally-different-than-playstation-plus/1100-6418195/

Phil Spencer says that "Games With Gold" is different because you get to keep the games even if you don't renew your subscription., which admittedly is a bonus. But I would imagine a lot of Playstation users will always have Playstation Plus because you need it to play most online games, so the rental-type service isn't really that bad.

But I'm jealous because in the past "Games With Gold" has offered games such as Halo 3... a game that pretty much every Xbox owner must have had anyway.


Newegg Is Offering The Xbone With A Free Game
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/xbox-one-comes-with-free-game-on-newegg/1100-6418194/

If you buy an Xbone from online retailer Newegg for 500 dolla dolla billz, you get a free game! You can choose between Call of Duty: Ghosts, Battlefield 4 (makes a good beverage coaster), Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag, Need For Speed: Rivals, NBA 2K14 and... Just Dance 2014.

Or, by the time you read this, you can get the TITANFALL bundle.


I Am Sorry, For I Have Failed

I mentioned TITANFALL again.


Bobby Kotick Receives A Measly 7.85 Million Dollar Bonus
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/activision-blizzard-ceo-bobby-kotick-receives-7-85-million-bonus/1100-6418250/

This news makes me so sad. The Blizzard CEO only got a 7.85 million dollar bonus due to his performance in 2013. As we all know, Blizzard basically pumps crack into the streets in the form of WoW, Starcraft and Diablo, so he should be commended for his drug dealing skills.

EA States That When You Push Innovation You Miss Other Things

http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-on-battlefield-4-simcity-issues-when-you-push-innovation-you-miss-other-things/1100-6418234/

Yeah, like functional games. Releasing sequels that may slightly improve on the games prior isn't innovation either. Shut up EA.


EA Cuts Jobs At Plants vs Zombies Studio
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ea-cuts-jobs-at-plants-vs-zombies-studio/1100-6418302/

Apparently 40 people lost their jobs. Always sad to see layoffs.



Ubisoft Has A Bunch Of Games Planned
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ubisoft-has-assassin-s-creed-splinter-cell-and-three-more-unannounced-games-in-the-works/1100-6418209/

Quoted from Gamespot:

Ubisoft Toronto's Current Development Pipeline:

• New Assassin's Creed
• Two new IP
• New Splinter Cell game
• Mystery game based on one of Ubisoft's "biggest" franchises

Necessary Jade Raymond Picture:

I have no sex appeal to market so I use the sex appeal of others.

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing 2 Is Comin' April 17
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/incredible-adventures-of-van-helsing-2-gets-a-release-date

The first was surprisingly good, so anybody who hasn't played it should go play it meow. Then play the sequel which I can only assume will be more Van Helsinger than the original.


The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Is Delayed Until 2015
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/the-witcher-3-wild-hunt-release-date-delayed-to-2015

If you haven't killed yourself because of the headline, you can expect the game in February of next year. It'll be okay, they just want to make the game the best it can possibly be.


Xbox One Live's Core Services Were Limited This Week, Not TITANFALL's Fault
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/xbox-ones-live-core-services-limited-not-titanfalls-fault

Xbox Live had some issues this week, but don't worry, they made sure to inform us that it wasn't TITANFALL's fault... which was unnecessary because like your troubled child, nothing is ever really TITANFALL's fault.

Here's A Shocker, Flappy Bird Creator Considering Bringing The Game Back
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/flappy-bird-creator-considering-bringing-the-game-back

Dong Nguyen recently had an interview in Rolling Stone and he stated that he's considering bringing the game back, but with a precaution that people should take a break from it. Personally I don't see the appeal because the game is ass, and he didn't say that it's coming back for sure by any means... but I wonder what is making him consider it? Hmm..

Don't Have Enough MMOs? The Wildstar Release Date Leaked
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/11/wildstar-release-date-leaked

The MMO is a growing genre that up until recently had no popularity whatsoever, so it's nice to see Wildstar coming out pretty soon to finally breathe some life into this dying genre. It comes out on June 3.


Yakuza Forced Ubisoft To Reveal Watch Dogs At E3
http://www.destructoid.com/ubisoft-forced-watch-dogs-e3-reveal-minimum-pc-specs-defined-271858.phtml

Okay, so I'm just kidding about the Yakuza thing. In reality Ubisoft forced the Watch Dogs reveal at E3 that year where it erupted and completely consumed the gaming world. New consoles what? We have Watch Dogs.

The specs were also revealed, so, there's that too. The specs are in the link above. What? You thought that I was going to show them? What do you think this is?

Fine:
IntelCore 2 Quad Q8400 2.66Ghz or AMDPhenom II X4 940 3.0Ghz, 6GB RAM, 1024 VRAM DirectX 11 Shader 5.0 SCard: DirectX9 25 GB.

Don't say that I don't love you.


Speaking of Watch Dogs...
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/watch-dogs-beta-download-found-on-xbox-one/1100-6418231/

It's also possible that there will be a beta before the final release.

The Last Of Us Movie To Re-Tell The Story of The Game
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/another-reason-why-the-last-of-us-movie-is-sounding-good/1100-6418282/

Really, it's a funny concept when you think about it -- a video game adaption in movie format that tells the story of the game. So strange.

To those who haven't played The Last of Us, here's a basic rundown of the story: Two people try to survive in a post-apocalyptic world run by infected. Never been done in the movies before... should be good!

SHOTS FIRED!!! 2 Sony Vs Microsoft Again
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/sony-fires-off-another-shot-at-xbox-policies/1100-6418280/

Adam Boyes took a shot at Microsoft over their policies for ID@Xbox which basically limits independent developers in the sense that every game they release must be released on the Xbox One at the same time as any other console, so no timed exclusives.

Adam Boyes figured that was stinky so he released this image on Twitter, the place where everyone goes to feud:

Um... pwned? Do people say pwned anymore? Well I do.

 Will this be the Biggie vs Pac of this decade? Time will tell.


Sony Talks The Last Guardian
http://www.destructoid.com/sony-i-love-that-people-are-still-interested-in-the-last-guardian-271839.phtml

Scott Rhode said, "You’re going to be very frustrated by this answer, but it is 100 percent the God’s honest truth, and that is that we want to make great games. And when we see that the public is so interested in a specific game, of course that drives us to want to complete that game. But it also drives us to want to make it great. We would not want to ship that game if we don’t think it’s great."

He said that the game is in the mix.

We've been waiting at least 73 years for this game.

And this is all we get?

Stallion83 Basically Becomes A God Among Gamers Who Love Unlocking Achievements
http://kotaku.com/watch-live-as-a-hero-gets-a-gamerscore-of-over-one-mill-1542821937/1542852654/+lukeplunkett

Though I'm not a guy who really gets caught up in that kind of thing, I have to give props to any gamer who accomplishes anything substantial within gaming. Congrats, comrade, for reaching a gamerscore of 1 million.

Never has this been more appropriate.

Masahiro Sakurai Doesn't Give A Shit About Your Console War
http://kotaku.com/smash-bros-creator-reviews-the-ps4-1542882797

Masahiro Sakurai has a badass name. He also created Kirby and Smash Bros. Guess what he also does? He likes the PS4, despite being a Nintendo guy... a concept that is immune to fanboys of any console.


Shovel Knight Is Delayed
http://www.polygon.com/2014/3/12/5502070/shovel-knight-delay

Shovel Knight is the game about Triple H (a little bit of humour for anybody who has ever paid attention to what the Internet Wrestling Community thinks) has been delayed by a few weeks in order to offer a better product. Whew, at least it's only a few weeks.


Never Fear, The Fun Box Is (T)Here... Er, In China
http://www.polygon.com/2014/3/12/5501608/china-getting-its-own-native-built-gaming-console-the-fun-box

So China has its own console coming out soon, and if you remember, the video game ban was lifted not too long ago. So um, yeah, The Fun Box. The Fun Box.

Does this mean China world domination in video games? Probably.


Wii U Is Outpacing PS4 In Japan
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/13/wii-u-sales-outpacing-playstation-4as-in-japan

So, you wouldn't believe it but the Wii U is actually outpacing the PS4. The Wii U sold more systems in its first three weeks than the PS4 has. Well, that's embarassing.


Hideo Kojima Wants To Make A Silent Hill
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/kojima-would-like-to-work-on-silent-hill-is-he-a-good-fit-for-the-series/1100-6418299/

Gamespot asks, is he a good fit? Are you nuts? Of course he is... he's Hideo Kojima.

So the news is that he wants to make a new Silent Hill, but also would be interested in a free-to-play adventure game even though it seems unlikely. He doesn't want to make puzzle or card games.


Hideo Also Wants Snake in New Super Smash Bros. But It's Probably Not Happening
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/14/kojima-open-to-snake-returning-in-super-smash-bros-for-wii-u

I loved Snake in Smash Bros. but it appears that he isn't going to be there this time around, despite Hideo asking really politely to have him put in. What a nice guy.


Hold Your Horses, A Second MMO Hits The Market In the Future
http://ca.ign.com/videos/2014/03/14/swordsman-announcement-trailer

Following the buzz of Wildstar and this new avenue to explore in PC gaming, there's a martial arts-inspired MMO titled Swordsman coming out. There's a video in the link above, and it looks like Jon Jones is finally going to fight Daniel Cormier.

I just hope that we don't get flooded with MMOs to the point that they become stale.


Playstation 4 Going Up In Price In Canada
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/14/playstation-4-prices-going-up-in-canada

On March 15th (holy crap that's today!), the PS4s are going up in price, same with the camera and Dual Shock 4. I would say go out and get one before it's too late, but if you're just finding this out today then it's too late, you've already been hit (Limp Bizkit - Head For The Barricade reference, since nobody actually listens to that garbage but me).

Canada is the greatest country on Earth. Obviously.


Now Onto Some Good News -- Crazy Taxi!
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/new-crazy-taxi-game-revealed-here-s-everything-we-know/1100-6418312/

Yay! New Crazy Taxi!

...For mobile.

In the link there is a rundown of everything they know so far but I've just become depressed because everything I hold dear gets sequels on phones. Hopefully it's good but, uh, forget it. Fuck this.


Josef Fares Thinks Very Highly Of His New Game
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/designer-of-acclaimed-brothers-says-next-project-is-something-that-hasn-t-been-done-before/1100-6418313/

So Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons seemed to really catch on, and now Fares says the next game will be something we haven't seen before.

Fares... I've been on the internet for over 10 years, there's nothing I haven't seen before.

No User-Generated Content For Infamous 3: Second Son
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ps4-game-infamous-second-son-won-t-support-user-generated-content/1100-6418317/

So unlike Infamous 2, there wont' be user-generated content as part of Second Son. There won't be a demo either. Which means you're in the dark about as much as you can be with the internet connecting everybody at all times, infecting your brain until you can't take it anymore, to the point where you explode and start watching reruns of Heroes while you wonder how they could mess up something so great so bad.

Ahem.

I don't know where I was. So, moving on...


More Details About Hyper Light Drifter
http://www.destructoid.com/here-s-some-info-on-how-hyper-light-drifter-is-going-to-play-271956.phtml

The game is going to be hard but never unfair, with enemies being smart and the battles being more thoughtful. I don't even care, just give me the game right NOW! Inject it into me, it doesn't matter, I just want it.


Infamous Was Going To Be Animal Crossing With Superheroes
http://www.destructoid.com/infamous-started-as-an-animal-crossing-like-game-271958.phtml

This makes the whole "Villager is a psycho" meme even more terrifying.

In what is probably the funniest, strangest and most awesome news of the past week (and possibly my life), Infamous was going to be like Animal Crossing, but with you being a superhero. I am always down for Animal Crossing, and this sounds amazing. I want this instead of Second Son, not that I think Second Son will be bad.


New Steam Controller Prototype
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/here-s-the-latest-steam-controller-prototype/1100-6418327/

On the left is the new design.

I guess I close out the news this week with an image of the new design for the Valve Steam controller. Personally, I think it looks kind of stupid but I'm sure it'll be functional and fine. They're going to show it off next week at GDC so make sure to stay tuned.


Oh Wait, There's More! Let's Talk About Skype On Xbox One
http://ca.ign.com/articles/2014/03/15/skype-for-xbox-one-receives-many-new-features

Always reliable Skype has some updates for the Xbox One version and these inclu